When grandparents and grandchildren are able to live close together so that each can spend a great deal of time with the other, many fascinating bonds emerge! Not only that, but research shows that raising children near their grandparents presents many scientific benefits, such that go beyond free, convenient babysitting for parents.
While it’s not always easy – or possible – for grandchildren to grow up near their grandparents, the relationship that develops here is well worth the effort. The extra love, attention, and guidance help raise strong adults.
5 Reasons Raising Children Near Their Grandparents Is Beneficial
While the research is quite extensive, here are five simple ways that raising children near their grandparents leads to beneficial outcomes.
#1. The children will have a built-in support system (in addition to their parents).
According to research gathered through the University of Oxford, children who are able to maintain close relationships with their grandparents tend to have fewer emotional and behavioral issues, allowing them to be better at handling traumatic life events in life, such as divorce, bullying, death, or substantial moves. Having a good relationship with grandparents helps allow the grandparents to offer a unique sense of security and support in such a way that parents might be unable to offer. This helps growing children navigate adverse childhood experiences.
#2. By having an inter-generational identity, a child’s resilience is increased.
Understanding who they are, where they came from, and the history of their family (which can happen by knowing one’s grandparents well) can help a person be more resilient. The reason for this is that knowledge and understanding help one feel more in control of their life, even when uncontrollable events occur. Understanding their family and their history can help a person grow to understand they are part of something bigger than just themselves and their life.
#3. Having a close relationship with grandparents help children grow up to be less ageist.
Everyone gets old. This is the way of life. The hope, however, is that our younger generations won’t discriminate against the old, and a way to ensure that this doesn’t happen is by building strong relationships between youth and the elderly – or, grandparents and grandchildren. According to a 2017 study, kids who develop close relationships with their grandparents are less likely to show bias towards older adults, and children who had a poor quality relationship with their grandparents were more likely to have ageist views.
After more than two months of prayer, council, and “counting the cost” over on the FaithLife forum, the DivineCouncil.org website and forum is up and running!
We hope DC will be the first, and a role model sister-site, around the territory mapped out by Michael Heiser in his recent book, the Unseen Realm.
Facebook is fun, but if you’re tired of conversations scrolling off the screen (and other FB pitfalls) the forum part of the site is built on a wonderful platform that enables the best means of discussions, fellowship, resource sharing, and live chat, available, today.
We love the new forum, and yet DC is a full-blown website, blog, etc. It’s a multi-author website (with three contributing writers, so far). If there are any believing writers, artists, photographers, small group leaders, etc. looking for a place to share, DivineCouncil.org could serve as an outlet for you.
We pray it may fill a need for the Kingdom, empower small groups, and be a worthy site for the Church.
Over 50 people have already signed on to the forum in the first week!
Grandma GG died on the twelfth day of Christmas, 2017.
In Catholic tradition, the following day is the Epiphany, the feast of the three kings, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the Magi. So, the original “12 Days” are not a children’s memory and forfeit game turned into a Christmas carol.
And yet, when a friend reminded me of the day, the first memory I had was of Timothy and Lucas singing that song in the shower of our ski lodge hotel, over the holiday. If there’s anything more beautiful than the sound of children singing it’s the sound of my children singing.
When we drove home, Timothy had the gifts of each day of the song memorized. Then, like my father did so many times, I changed things around on them. To show the boys they’re not stuck with the official version of things, I made up new gifts for the first four days and sang a new carol.
By the time we were done, our version had 12 strummers strumming, three french breads, two lady bugs, and a fish swimming in a glass jar.
Charlie’s Option ‘C’
It was a small change to a lovely song. But, small changes like that, initiated by my father, were at the core of why he and mom lived such an extraordinary life. The conventional was just one possible starting point for my father; a brilliant engineer certain that no one had the whole game figured out. As he would often say, that made running with the herd a most dangerous proposition.
As my cousin Keith put it, if there were options A and B for everyone else, my father had an option C to consider. Tell him that there’s two sides to every coin and he’d probably smile and point out that you missed the third side. You forget about the edge. That’s technically a third side.
I can just hear him saying, “Remember, Terry, nobody’s got the whole game figured out. The instant someone tells you they do, ‘Run!’.”
And yet, for all his insights, when visiting with them in Tokyo my father said the reason they were able to travel everywhere and do such fun things was because of my mom. He just went to work every day, as usual. Mom took care of the blizzard of details it took the relocate, setup another house, figure out the local markets, and pay the bills.
The Shenanigans Continue …
The Shenanigans of the Gillespie’s, the McNally’s, and now the Arbelaez’, continue with the next generation. We sing the beautiful songs given us with the audacity to change the lyrics. The melody eventually goes, too, and the composers are forgotten. New life sings its own version of ancient songs. And nothing but the Grace of God is so assured that it should be immune from re-examination or re-canted with the joy of a personal imprint.
In Everything I Do
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy… in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture…1
And so it was that my brother and I were able to study music and architecture. Everything I do is on the shoulders of my parents, and on my knees, for the glory of our Father in heaven. The sacrifices they made, and the small changes to the norm my dad would always make, compounded into an enveloping blanket of possibilities my brother and I had the luxury of taking for granted.
An Artful Life
Possibilities are the breeding ground of creativity. The fruit of creativity is an artful life and, hopefully, the appreciation of the liberties that make it possible.
My parents were always there to help. Only because I was so sure of that, did I rarely need it. It was a premise in our relationship and bestowed a freedom to compose an extraordinary life. May the compositions of Isabel and I be a worthy extension of their legacy.
The Highest Privilege
When friends used to ask about my childhood I didn’t know what to say. What’s the opposite of a shitty childhood? Whatever that is, that was us.
Such discussions now involve notions of privilege and what that might be. From my parents, I know the answer: the highest earthly privilege, of all, is to be born into a household with a loving father and mother.
I can’t say it enough, and can’t stop thinking it: everything I do only makes sense when viewed as an extension of them. While others may try to discard their heritage, or apologize for it, I will spend the rest of my life being thankful for, and exploring the depths of, my own.
Geraldine Marie Gillespie
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.2
My father found this in my mother, Geraldine Marie Gillespie. And because their lives reflected its importance, I eventually found the same in Isabel. So, Isabel was the perfect one to give my mother her most favorite title of all: Grandma GG.
It was a name quickly conjured to avoid confusion with Martha, the other grandmother living in our house at the time. And, though the role of grandmother is rarely exceeded in stature or importance, it was a role my mother never expected to play. But, as I was to learn in the hours after her death, there was even more than that bundled up into Grandma GG’s favorite title.
A Catatonic Epiphany
For the last three years of her life, I’d prayed to know the purpose of my mother’s increased suffering, being confined to a bed for the past 10 years, and even losing her words.
Then, as befitting the 12th day of Christmas, I was lead on the track of a catatonic epiphany to a small group meeting at our church. Perhaps only around other believers could something as heart-warming, yet terrifying, be revealed: that my mother’s highest purposes in life were identical to her work, which was, in turn, identical to her highest calling. All three of these cherished insights lined up into one for Grandma GG. Her purposes, work, and calling were, all three, the same. They were inextricably bound up, and poured into, her three great loves: my father, my brother, and me.
The rareness of all three of these lining up —something that perhaps only a wife and mother of her time were afforded — is partly why I missed them.
A Mother’s Grief
Seen from that vantage point, it became more understandable that she had the strokes that put her in the bed shortly after my father, and then brother, died. Two-thirds of her life purposes had just left the planet. Her husband and firstborn son, were gone.
For those who haven’t walked that path, there’s no way to comprehend the loss. What I know of it are from the sounds of her weeping over my brother; cries I’d often wished could become unheard as they resonated through every dimension in a way that only a mother’s grief could.
Mom held on, in part, to save me from what she felt that day. She couldn’t bear for the same to happen to me.
A Secret Project
Maybe every child has a feeling their parents are working on a secret project that’s never revealed or talked about. You know they’re up to something; you just don’t know what it is. Then, one day, you realize that the secret project they’ve been working on, all this time, is you.
Every grocery bag, pair of sneakers, uniform, piano lesson, field trip, monthly check for Catholic school … and every drop-off and pick-up and late-night vigil waiting for you to come home, is one more stitch in the patchwork of a quilt they’re making, but don’t expect to use, for their own warmth. They’re sowing the soil, and tending to trees for decades, in hopes that it will bear the most delicious fruit the world has ever seen. And yet they’re perfectly content to die having never taken a bite.
The Unbearable Absence of Reservation
We pour ourselves out for our children, not because they’ve earned it, but because our love for them comes with an almost unbearable absence of reservation. It’s the only fitting metaphor we have of God’s love for us.
What Christ did for all, we seek to do for our children, within the realms of our limited authority: To guide them away from error and onto the path of their most complete fruition. And when they fall short, to plead forgiveness for their youthful trespasses and cancel any records of debt that might stand against them with legal demands.
Charlie’s 10% Solution
My dad said their marriage worked because he put 10% of everything he had into it. My mom wholeheartedly agreed with him on that, adding that the other 90% came from her.
A New Plague
The late 70’s were a tough time for my parent’s marriage. A new legal option of No-fault divorce was creeping across the country like a plague, leaving broken families in its wake. The machinery of separation was put into motion with a 9-syllable incantation: “ir·rec·on·cil·a·ble dif·fer·ences” were not corporate mergers gone awry, but a legal pretense for parents to live in separate houses.
Neutrality & Fairness
I remember my mom saying they couldn’t handle being Switzerland with all the couples they’d known who’d become separate and warring nations; the kids pulled around new artificial zones that, unlike the Vietnam news stories on TV, were anything but demilitarized.
So, there were arguments, and dishes thrown, and frustrations we felt, but didn’t understand. That’s how my brother and I knew that, just because we were born into it, didn’t make our parent’s marriage a guarantee.
We also learned that people playing fair with each other was a recipe for disaster; that it took a lot more than mere fairness to be happy. Only when they became resigned to giving more than received did a peace, that surpasses all understanding, come to our house.
Wedding Song
As sung in the wedding folk song, popular at the time:
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
But, the circle of the exchange in those lyrics spins faster than the inputs of the wedded couple. It’s that invisible extra energy the songwriter is asking about in the question, “Do you believe in something, that you’ve never seen before?”.
Grief is the Precious, Cut Short
I’ve learned from the deaths of my immediate family that the greatest cause for grief is when something precious is cut short of its expected completeness. And though I grieve for my mother, and still for my father and brother, I’m unable to view their lives as having been cut short; each for their own reasons.
Dad’s Bucket List(s)
In a conversation with my dad, a year before he died, he told me that when he was 10-years-old he made a list of things he’d dreamed of doing. By his mid-40’s he’d gotten to the end of that list, and made another. By the time of our conversation, he said he’d checked everything off that second list, as well.
The memory of that exchange was particularly comforting when he died, unexpectedly, a year later. How could his life be viewed as having been cut short if, by his own handwritten lists, he’d completed everything he’d set out to do?
Uncle Tim
When my dad’s brother came to visit, last year, I told him that story. He said he felt the same way and that his number was 75. Seven months later, nine days after Grandma GG, my Uncle Tim met his number.
Mom’s Unexpected Life
As for my mother, she never expected to get to do most of the things she, and my father, did. She raised two boys, traveled the world, got her high school diploma (about the same time we did), worked for a while to see what that was like, learned ikebana painting with the Japanese, and played golf with my father to her hearts content in their dream home, designed by their son, on the 5th hole of a private golf course in South Carolina. All of this, with her husband who’d retired at the age of 53.
It wasn’t until after my father died that I realized that Grandma GG was another artist in the family. Her opinions on logos, and colors, and ideas for business names, were always refreshing. And the grandchildren on her lap were the vitamins she took for her last eight years.
The fullness of Grandma GG’s life is the license we have to limit our grief to that of a life, not cut short, but fully lived.
Death ≠ Life Incomplete
A life is not devoid of purpose, nor incomplete, due merely to the fact that it has ended. If that were so, there is no hope for any of us, nor has there ever been.
I know this is not so, if only because of the memories I draw from them. My father may have helped me make more decisions, after his death, than before it. And though I believe it to be a mere fractal of a larger truth, there’s an undeniable life continued, here and now, in our memories, alone.
They Don’t Feel Gone
Staring at the bed of all the photos of my family it doesn’t make sense that they’re all gone. They don’t feel gone. After another series a fleeting moments, Isabel and my photos will be added to the pile. Then, it will be Timothy and Lucas staring at our pictures with this same odd feeling.
Memory is Proof of Life
Among the dead are those whose memories and past deeds are still having more of an impact on my life, today, than anyone currently living, ever will. So, the separation of who is here, and who is gone, becomes a more ambiguous proposition with each passing year.
After all, if memory of the once living is of no importance, then why punish a murderer? The victim’s gone and justice won’t bring them back. But, murderers are punished because the living will not put their memories away. The bell of the victims life will not be un-rung. And neither will the absence of justice be forgotten, or un-factored in to the righteous behavior of the survivors.
I believe the soul is sanctified by the Holy Spirit, and continues a new life in the unseen realm, as the body falls away. Still, unbelievers can take comfort in the memories of loved ones who’ve died, and the life contained in their memory of them.
In the first few years, not a day went by without a citation of the fourth commandment, in one direction or another. We eventually got the hang of it in seeing the final years of Grandma GG’s life through. Her care was part of our purpose, while she was in the final stages of completing hers. We were like mirrors pointed at each other, each unaware of the reflections compounding into infinity.
Through the Eyes of Visitors
But, our children, and others, saw those reflections.
Every once in a while we’d get an outside perspective on our lives, through the eyes of visitors. It was like having a puppy and a friend stops by, two months later, and breaks the news to you that what you’re calling a puppy has become a dog.
As friends and family passed on condolences, one of the first things they’d say is how wonderful it was that Grandma GG spent her final years with her family.
They’re right, it was wonderful. But, it was just as wonderful to spend the long beginning of my life, with her.
End of the Rainbow
In retrospect, the struggles I had in caring for my mom were like a man complaining about a rock in his shoe while walking to the end of a rainbow. The treasure, waiting to be collected, is more than one house can hold. Part of that treasure is the proof that Grandma GG’s highest calling was met, so that even 1/3rd of its fulfillment was more than enough to reap for the care she needed.
Another part is that our boys woke up, everyday of their four and eight-year lives, with a grandparent living in the same house.
“God’s law is an unspeakably good and precious thing, and to live within it is to live the life that is eternal. To be sure, (God’s) law is not the source of rightness, but it is forever the course of rightness.3
The Potency of Holiness
Our bodies know the differences between darkness and light better than our minds. While surprised that a candle has lit up the whole gymnasium, our bodies have already started walking towards it.
Light is more than the absence of darkness. And holiness is more than the absence of sin. If sin is the drum of water we drink from, then holiness is the teaspoon of bleach that makes the whole drum potable.
Her Inheritance
My moms inheritance is in answering her highest calling. It was poured out into her three men, into her new family, and also for those who saw her race, finished well.
And like the story of the thief on the cross, who had no hope before that fateful day, may the retelling of her story inspire other families to stick together and light their own candles with the fire within. And may a spoonful of that be credited to the account of Grandma GG’s inheritance in the Kingdom of God.
In Our Muscle Memory
Grandma GG is still in our muscle memory and in the walls of the house. While writing these words, I’ve kept the room monitor on in my office in case Grandma GG needs something. Isabel and I still hear the bell she used to ring, and the pitch of her voice, calling for something. We’re still quiet on the phone so as not to wake her, and we keep feeling the need to break away from dinners with friends, because mom’s been alone for too long.
The Smirk on Lucas’ Face
Grandma GG did not abide orders or directives. There was a certain way she’d purse her lips and stare when orders were detected. That’s when you knew there wasn’t a thing in the world that could move her. You’d just settled the matter; nothing would move her until she was good and ready.
One day, while giving an order to our two-year-old, I looked over to see something that brought chills of deja’vu. Lucas had the same eyes, and curled up smirk, I’ve seen on my mothers face for fifty years. I knew immediately the battle lines were drawn, and he had the upper hand. My mother’s will-not-abide smirk had been transmuted right onto Lucas’ defiant face.
I can only imagine the deep-rooted pig-headedness originating from ancient celtic roots that is now a weapon in his arsenal. And, boy, it’s a good one. Grandma GG would love knowing that she had left her Lucas Michael, so well-armed. As foreboding a look as it is, I love seeing her smirk on Lucas’ face. Even though I know what I’m in for.
Timothy’s Willy Wonka House
“When you love someone you go to the ends of the earth for them.”
— Aunt Bernie
Timothy doesn’t have Grandma GG’s defiant smirk. What he inherited from Grandma GG is waking up for the first eight years of his life with grandparents living in the same house. He has the cookies and candy in her drawer, her birthday gifts, the coca-cola Santa Claus kisses, and grandparents’s day at school.
When watching the original Willy Wonka, Timothy saw nothing odd in all the grandparents in the bed. To him, it was a matter-of-fact depiction of the way all families live. Families take care of one another, come what may, and no one is left behind.
Conclusion
Prior to my mom’s passing, Isabel had never experienced the death of an immediate family member. Now, as a reluctant veteran, perhaps she’d agree that death, compared to life, is a simple thing.
Death doesn’t give meaning to life; it just imposes a deadline on the project to perfect the soul our bodies are bound to, for a while. The body gives out, and the soul is released, to forever be what it became under the care of our earthly stewardship.
The greatest gift of life is the chance to shape, and try to perfect, the state of our immortal souls.
May we prepare for death like a bel canto singer navigates through the passagio of the upper-middle voice; switching over to a new set of involuntary muscles so the voice may gracefully ascend into its highest range.
But, She’s Ours!
Two weeks after she died, Lucas asked, “When are they going to send Grandma GG back?”
“What do you mean, Lucas?”, Isabel asked.
“When are they going to be done working on her body … (counting on his fingers) … “1-day, 2-days, 3-days, 4-days, 5-days?”
“She’s not coming back, Lucas. We have to go see her.”
“But, she’s ours!”, he said.
Then, last week, Lucas asked the same question. When Isabel told him Grandma GG was gone he yelled, “But, she’s ours! Why can’t they fix her body and send her back?!” before crying for five minutes; an eternity for a four-your-old.
Yes, honey. She’s ours.
And we will never forget her, nor the last time we saw her, this morning as she prepared for her journey and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.4
Songbirds, P.S.
Alright, mom. These words hardly begin to summarize your life. But, you’d be happy with a few highlights in your son’s voice. It must have been awesome to get out of that bed and stretch out into a walk!
Remember when Dad borrowed Wendell’s RV and we camped and drove across the whole country? Dad wore out those Fleetwood Mac tapes and almost killed us on the mesa verde mountain curves.
My least favorite song is the one I can’t get out of my head. It reminds me of you and dad. You guys are together, now, like you imagined for all those years watching the golf channel. Every time that bell rings it feels like you’re still here. I’m glad, we’re glad, that, “For you, there’ll be no more crying.”
For you, the sun will be shining.
And I feel that you’re with us
And It’s alright, I know it’s right.
My songbirds are singing, like they know the score.
And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.
… that life can be optimized with respect to a minimum of seven areas. Delete any one of them from the equations of your awareness and your life will degrade, sooner or later. Since these areas are irreducible I call them the Seven Matters of Life.
I believe …
… that words are how the truth comes to us. They’re also how it can be taken away. Seen only as symbols and grammar, truth and lies are made from the same raw material. Your only hope is discernment. Your life depends on it.
… in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all that is unseen. I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father. Through him all things were made. For us men and for our salvation he came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit he was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered, died, and was buried. On the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified. He has spoken through the Prophets. I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.
The church at Colossae was formed during Paul’s ministry in Ephesus. A Colossian named Epaphras traveled to Ephesus (125 miles NW of Colossae) and heard Paul preach the gospel. In returning home Epaphras shared the message with his hometown and the church at Colossae was born. “Epaphras had earlier journeyed to Paul to help him in whatever way he could, representing the three churches of the Lycus valley (Laodicea, Hierapolis, Colossae)”.1
Epaphras is with Paul (Currently jailed in Ephesus) and has given Paul news of problems in the church in Colossae. Paul writes his Colossians epistle to address these problems.
I favor Pauline authorship of Colossians and Philemon while Paul was jailed in Ephesus ~54 A.D. I don’t think he wrote these epistles in Rome (or Caesarea) for three reasons:
Onesimus, a slave who escaped from his owner Philemon in Colossae, is unlikely to have been able to make two (Or three) trips to Rome from his home in Colossae.
“…it seems unlikely that, having seen Rome as a staging-post on the way to Spain (Rom. 15:22–29), Paul would be hoping to visit Philemon soon after his impending release.”2
The epistle contains advice more likely to be needed by a very young church than a church that had been grappling with such issues for eight or nine years.3
If Paul wrote Colossians while in Ephesus both the church, and Paul, were ~nine years younger than widely presumed: Paul is in his early 50’s and the church is barely a year old. That Paul describes himself as an “old man” in Philemon is still consistent with the hard life he’d lived until then.
The letters to the Colossians and to Philemon (And possibly Ephesians) were carried to their recipients by Tychicus and Onesimus with the latter being returned by Paul to his owner, Philemon. Philemon’s house is being used as a church in Colossae and Paul is hoping to persuade him to look favorably on his former slave, Onesimus, who became a Christian during his time with Paul.
Did Paul Write Colossians?
I find the arguments that someone other than Paul wrote the letter, unconvincing. In making their case, the non-Pauline authorship camp makes at least two faulty assumptions:
Colossians Fragment (P46)
That a brilliant writer such as Paul could not, or would not, adapt his writing style and vocabulary with respect to the intention, problems and recipients of the letter. To the contrary: Anyone capable of writing Colossians has proven themselves capable of adjusting language and style to the widest audience possible. In fact, each of these Epistles continues to communicate quite effectively with the entire world since they were written. Putting aside, for now, the fact that his writing was divinely inspired, I’m not aware of any writer having achieved a greater feat (Socrates, Plato, Shakespeare, etc.).
That literary genius and spectacular writing abilities can somehow be perfectly mimicked or obtained by extensive study or “Spending lots of time” with the author. I would think a comparison of the epistles of Timothy to those of Paul’s would end such an argument. For those still unconvinced, rest assured that, no matter how long you might have been able to hang out with Shakespeare you still wouldn’t be able to write one of his plays.
Earthquakes in Laodicea and Colossae:
“Sometimes one also hears the argument that Paul could not have written to Colossae from Rome as late as A.D. 62 because the city of Colossae was destroyed by an earthquake in that year. This is confusing the earthquake which struck Laodicea in A.D. 60–61 with the earthquake which hit Colossae in A.D. 64. It is unfortunate that while Laodicea has undergone a good deal of archaeological work in recent years, Colossae still remains one of the NT sites which has never been excavated. Work would need to be done there before we could begin to assess the effects of the earthquake on that small town.”4
Laodicea and Colossae are only 10 miles apart. An earthquake capable of doing damage to one would be felt in both cities and probably do the same amount of damage. If Paul had written Colossians in 62 A.D. it would be remarkable for him to refrain from mentioning a Laodicean earthquake that happened one year prior. The second 64 A.D. quake in Colossae does not inform the the dating of the epistle, at all.
Lost Epistle to Laodicea
In Colossians 4, Paul asks the Colossians and Laodiceans to read each other’s letters. It’s highly probably that an epistle written to the Laodiceans has been lost.
Praise to Christ (1:15–20)
a) Christ is Lord of creation ( 1: 15–17)
b) Christ is Lord of redemption ( 1: 18–20)
Reconciliation of the Colossians to God ( 1: 21–23)
The Apostle Paul’s Labor for the Gospel ( 1: 24–2: 3)
a) Paul’s suffering and stewardship of the mystery ( 1: 24–28)
b) Paul’s labor for the Colossians ( 1: 29–2: 3)
Danger: Christ’s Preeminence Defended
The Dangerous Teaching at Colossae ( 2: 4–23)
a) Warning about a deceptive teaching ( 2: 4–8)
b) Help for the danger: resources in Christ ( 2: 9–15)
c) Additional warnings about the teaching ( 2: 16–23)
Duty: Christ’s Preeminence Demonstrated
The Proper Focus: Christ and the Life Above ( 3: 1–4)
Instructions on Living the Christian Life ( 3: 5–4: 6)
a) Dealing with the sins of the past ( 3: 5–11)
b) Putting on the virtues of Christ ( 3: 12–17)
c) Living in the Christian household ( 3: 18–4: 1)
d) Persistence in prayer ( 4: 2–4)
e) Good behavior toward those outside the community ( 4: 5–6)
Personal Greetings and Instructions ( 4: 7–17)
a) Remarks about the messengers carrying the letter ( 4: 7–9)
b) Greetings from Paul’s associates ( 4: 10–14)
c) Greetings to the Christians in Laodicea ( 4: 15–17)
Letter Closing ( 4: 18)
Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 165). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers. ↩
Wright, N. T. (1986). Colossians and Philemon: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 12, p. 38). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. ↩
Wright, N. T. (1986). Colossians and Philemon: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 12, p. 40). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. ↩
Witherington, B., III. (2007). The letters to Philemon, the Colossians, and the Ephesians : a socio-rhetorical commentary on the captivity Epistles (p. 19). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. ↩
The world discards ideas and people that present multiple standard deviations away from “normal”. And yet, Reality has always been phenomenal and noumenal. To ensure you’re able to thrive in the artificial chaos of this generation you’ll need to be an outlier, in many ways. Here’s “The Outlier’s Handbook” to optimize your trajectory.
The Outlier’s Handbook
(Thriving in Artificial Chaos)
Table of Contents
Part 1 — What Outliers?
“Let Your Reasonableness Be Known to Everyone”
Ockham’s Razor: Benefits & Limits
The Bookends of Normalcy Bias & Cognitive Dissonance
“This Book Goes Too Far!”
What Outliers?
Outliers Defined
You Know You’re An Outlier If . . .
Outlier Benefits
Outlier Costs
Personal Secession and Other Outlier Mindsets
Part 2 — It’s Your World, Boss!
This Is Where You Live
American Roulette
The Constitution is Safe!
A Bank with Social Services Around It
Democracy: The God that Failed
The Corporation
The Deep State
Fascism, American Style
Lifecycle of Nations
“Poverty of Nations” Report Card
Imperial Collapse Playbook
Danger, Will Robinson!
Technocracy: The Trojan Horse of Global Transformation
Regional Bloc Head Mercantilism
Gee, Maybe Nation-States Weren’t So Bad, After All
Solutions Amidst Global Fascism
Change Happens Like This, Now
Part 3 — The Usual Suspects
Call Them As You See Them
Origin & Story of Rulers and Authorities
Angelic Gen 6 View: Consistency & Insights
So, Who are “They”?
The “New” Face of Evil (Follow the Blood)
Long Term Trends Require Spiritual Unity
The Minions
A Working Structure of Oppression
They Walk Among Us
Serial Killers
How Can You Spot One?
Political Ponerology
7 signs you might be dating one
Protection From Them
Speech Patterns
I, Psychopath
The Hidden Cost of Killing Psychopaths
Beware the Backlash
Elements of Their World View
Their Goals
”Ye Shall Be As Gods”
Their Methods
The Moral Code of Evil
Inversion
Undisclosed Adhesion Contracts
Counterfeit Money
Controlled Markets
Technocracy
Stacked & Interlocking Pyramidical Structures
Consolidation
Democracy
Eugenics
Perpetual Fear
Long-Term Planning
With Methods Like This, Who Needs the Occult?
Part 4 — Acquiring Immunity
Move #1: Acquire Personal Immunity
Personal Matters
Purpose is Everything
Managing Outlierhood
Growth
Ethical Time Travel
Health Matters
First Do No Harm
Clean Food, Water, Air & Place
Nutrient Dense Diet
Gut Flora, Probiotics and the Second Brain
Optimal Exercise
Stress & Breathing
Life Extension & Blood Sugar Management
Sensible Health Insurance
Putting It All Together
Spiritual Matters
Intelligent or Random Design
Oneism (Monism) vs. Dualism
CINO’s & MINO’s
Christianity Leads To Science, Islam leads to Murder
Gandhi or Jesus?
Get Blessed
Get Uncursed
Supernatural Immunity: The Mind & Way Of Christ
The Whole Council of God
Spiritual Warfare
Practical Examples of Spiritually Based Solutions
Locational Matters
The Best Place to Live
Where Not to Live
Should you relocate?
The World is Yours
The Illusion of Ownership
Mobility
G.O.O.D Project – Lessons Learned
Family Matters
Instrument of Recursive Perfection
Spouse Choice
Children
Extended Family
Friends Worth the Title are Family
Community
Legal Matters
Natural Law
The Constitution is Safe!
Jurisdiction Matters
Where is the Agreement?
It’s Hard to Be a Free Man
Unraveling Your Liberty
Financial Matters
Money is for Immunity & Purpose
Business as Extension of Purpose
Tax Penalties for Fear and Poor Planning
Mortgage Slavery, Repealed
Austrian Economics is Real Economics
Investments in Immunity & Purpose Have the Highest ROI
Asset Protection
Political Matters
Terms of “State” & “Government”
The Diversion Of Left – Right Thinking
The Votes that Matter
Optimal Government = Perfect Self-Government
The Chief Asset Of The State: Fear & Belief In It’s Necessity
All Matters of Liberty Are Related
Caveat Viator: Libertarianism and Anarchy are Aspects of a Complete Worldview
Govern Thyself Perfectly and Hold Death Dear
Perspective Matters
The Most Valuable Commodity on the Planet
Philosophers On Donuts
Terms of “Freedom” & “Liberty”
Equality & Authority
Freedom & Structure
Peace Does Not Flow From Passivity
Proof and Truth
You Can’t Beat Everything with Nothing
“Let’s Just Split the Difference and Find a Middle Ground”
Stoicism
The Opportunity in Uncertainty
If Swamp Rats Can’t be Exterminated Why Can You?
What About America?
Doing Matters
Tony Robbin’s Best Trick
Think Spiritually, Act Locally
Getting Things Done
Low Hanging Fruit
Tragic Flaws of Conventional Prepping
Expert Tips
How To Lose Without Fighting (An Outlier’s Not To-Do List)
Part 5 — Ants & The Human Mosaic
Change The World in Four Moves
Humans as an Ant Army
Move #1: Immunity
Move #2: Specialize
Move #3: Move
Move #4: Cooperate
Humanize the Best Attributes of Animals & Insects
Part 6 — Problems: Solutions
Move #2: Specialize & Pick One
Personal Concerns
Training Disguised as Education
Shortening Attention Spans
Media Agitprop
Health Concerns
Eugenics
Vaccines Vs. Immunity
Socialized Medicine
Food Fascism & GMOs
Fluoridated water
Nuclear Waste & Meltdown Disasters
Geo-Engineering
Disease(s) Cured
Spiritual Concerns
Psychopathy
Moral Relativism
Odious Debt (Slavery)
Wars of Conquest
False-Flag Attacks
End Times Decoder Rings
501c3 Churches
Locational Concerns
Agenda 21
Scientific Control Grid
Power Grid Fragility
Family Concerns
The State as Great Father
Broken Families
Legal Concerns
Patent Squelching
Webs of Undisclosed Adhesion Contracts
Drug Wars
Licensing
Militarization of Police
Surveillance State
Monopoly
Bonus: Beating Traffic Tickets
Financial Concerns
Fractional Reserve Banking (The Theft of Human Labor)
The documentary film, The Art of the Steal is a gripping tale of intrigue and mystery in the art world. The film traces the history of the Barnes collection of Post-Impressionist paintings, which was worth billions and became the subject of a power struggle after the 1951 death of the owner. Dr. Albert Barnes collected 181 Renoirs, 69 Cezannes, 59 Matisses, 46 Picassos and many other valuable paintings. Despite his best efforts political wrangling over the collection eventually led to its division and control by the very group of people he wanted the collection to be protected against.
Barnes was a shrewd man. He took pains to hire the best lawyers to erect a trust for his paintings to protect them from every imaginable threat. Ironically, the people, state rats and foundations that would eventually divide, move and control his collection were largely known to Barnes at the time of his death.
For the intriguing story of how they accomplished this I recommend the film.
Barnes drafted his trust in 1922 and modified it many times leading up to his sudden death in 1951. It took 58 years from the time of Barnes’ death before the judges ruling cleared the way for its division which overturned every one of Barnes’ express wishes for his collection and transferred control of what now is $25-$30 billion dollars of art into the very hands Barnes never wanted to to have anything to do with it.
While watching the documentary I was struck both by how long it took the collection to be divided and how short that period was with respect to the magnitude, beauty and importance of the art. It’s reminiscent of what is often said about a Stradivarius Violin: The current owner is merely temporary in the life of the instrument.
Barnes was a great man. As such, we who loathe that his magnificent collection has fallen into enemy hands have no better recourse than to glean from the rubble of this theft every possible lesson of what strategies might have worked in fulfilling Barnes’ true wishes.
The problems started when the Barnes Trust ran out of successor trustees.
Have More Successor Trustees
Have Children – Barnes had no children. There’s no guarantee that children will fulfill estate wishes but it would have put a few more options on Barnes’ table.
Designate a Lineage of Trustees – Barnes designated five successor trustees. This is the primary reason his collection was protected for the 58 years it was. Even though five seem like plenty it was not enough. More is better and a methodology for adding them, post-mortem, is even better.
Have Trustees (Vetted While Grantor is Alive) Designate Successor Trustees – The Trustees Barnes knew while he was alive performed flawlessly. If there was a mechanism in the trust for these trustees to, in turn, vett and add new trustees, this would extend the time and increase the quality of adherence to the original intent of the Grantor (Barnes, in this case).
“Poison Pill” Provisions
To avoid contention between competing trustees “Poison Pills” could be placed in the Trust to squelch trivial squabbles. John Lennon’s estate was famous for ensuring that anyone who contested the terms of the trust be cutout of the trust, as a result. It works!
Map Out Maintenance Strategies Using Corpus of the Trust
At one point, Barnes’ collection was in danger due to problems with the building that contained it. Multiple approved methods of raising money for maintenance could be included in the trust. This would take options away from untrustworthy trustees who see this as a crack in the Trust’s armor. It would also make it easier for good trustees who may not have the business sense to go along with their desire to adhere to the grantors’ wishes.
One option, here, for Barnes would have been a strategic sell-off of some of the collection. As terrible as that may sound Barnes would have been most familiar with his collection. Not everything he chose was untouchable. While alive Barnes might have chosen the order in which a very small number of paintings could be auctioned off for the good of the collection IF that was the only option available to the trustee.
Use Corporation(s), LLC(s) or Complex Structures in Lieu of a Trust
This opens up a whole different can of worms that I’d rather not explore in this article. I only bring it up as an option in reaction to seeing the limits of Barnes’ chosen protective entity: The Trust. The ultra rich typically erect complex structures of multiple entities to protect their wealth while they’re alive. Admittedly, maintaining such structures is much more difficult upon death but perhaps such complexity is necessary in cases like Barnes.
Prohibit Boards as Trustees
The biggest fractures appeared with the Barnes collection when Trustees morphed into boards who created their own rules about how the boards were run. Such boards were free to add members, for instance, that enabled a few members to change the consensus of the board. I’d say the only way to squelch this problem is to prohibit boards of any kind. Groups of people never behave themselves with as much integrity as individuals.
The Nuclear Option
Barnes was a great man. To become so takes a level of determination and single-mindedness that few of the rest of us can probably even imagine. After watching the documentary it occurred to me that Barnes was so determined to keep his collection in tact and out of the hands of his enemies that he never even contemplated a last-ditch option. With the benefit of the hindsight that Barnes’ experience has given me I think his best last ditch option would have been to focus on . . . .
The Creators Not the Creations
In the event that any of Barnes’ parameters were violated he could have put instructions into the trust that all the art in the collection be auctioned off for the benefit of the kinds of artists whose work Barnes so understandably admired. By doing so the actual art in the collection would have been randomly distributed around the world (To be collected by the next Barnes?) and he would have been funding the efforts of new great artists to create more beautiful and inspiring art for Barnes’ desired educational purpose of the art, itself. Not to mention that the existing art would have been put beyond the reach of the contemptible group that now controls it.
I’m not presuming that this is a better use for Barnes’ art than he, himself, imagined. I’m merely pointing out one possible backup option that Barnes probably wouldn’t even let himself consider.
They Ruin Everything They Touch
Greed, power, sociopaths and whatever “Foundations” they hide behind are like water falling on a building: They never stop eroding what they come in contact with. In life it’s often possible to avoid contact, altogether, with these brands of evil. In death, the best one can hope for is to delay the meeting for as long as possible.
