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Colossians Fragment (P46)
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The Grammar of Colossians

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The church at Colossae was formed during Paul’s ministry in Ephesus. A Colossian named Epaphras traveled to Ephesus (125 miles NW of Colossae) and heard Paul preach the gospel. In returning home Epaphras shared the message with his hometown and the church at Colossae was born. “Epaphras had earlier journeyed to Paul to help him in whatever way he could, representing the three churches of the Lycus valley (Laodicea, Hierapolis, Colossae)”.1

Epaphras is with Paul (Currently jailed in Ephesus) and has given Paul news of problems in the church in Colossae. Paul writes his Colossians epistle to address these problems.

I favor Pauline authorship of Colossians and Philemon while Paul was jailed in Ephesus ~54 A.D. I don’t think he wrote these epistles in Rome (or Caesarea) for three reasons:

  1. Onesimus, a slave who escaped from his owner Philemon in Colossae, is unlikely to have been able to make two (Or three) trips to Rome from his home in Colossae.
  2. “…it seems unlikely that, having seen Rome as a staging-post on the way to Spain (Rom. 15:22–29), Paul would be hoping to visit Philemon soon after his impending release.”2
  3. The epistle contains advice more likely to be needed by a very young church than a church that had been grappling with such issues for eight or nine years.3

If Paul wrote Colossians while in Ephesus both the church, and Paul, were ~nine years younger than widely presumed: Paul is in his early 50’s and the church is barely a year old. That Paul describes himself as an “old man” in Philemon is still consistent with the hard life he’d lived until then.

The letters to the Colossians and to Philemon (And possibly Ephesians) were carried to their recipients by Tychicus and Onesimus with the latter being returned by Paul to his owner, Philemon. Philemon’s house is being used as a church in Colossae and Paul is hoping to persuade him to look favorably on his former slave, Onesimus, who became a Christian during his time with Paul.

Did Paul Write Colossians?

I find the arguments that someone other than Paul wrote the letter, unconvincing. In making their case, the non-Pauline authorship camp makes at least two faulty assumptions:

Colossians Fragment (P46)
Colossians Fragment (P46)
  1. That a brilliant writer such as Paul could not, or would not, adapt his writing style and vocabulary with respect to the intention, problems and recipients of the letter. To the contrary: Anyone capable of writing Colossians has proven themselves capable of adjusting language and style to the widest audience possible. In fact, each of these Epistles continues to communicate quite effectively with the entire world since they were written. Putting aside, for now, the fact that his writing was divinely inspired, I’m not aware of any writer having achieved a greater feat (Socrates, Plato, Shakespeare, etc.).
  2. That literary genius and spectacular writing abilities can somehow be perfectly mimicked or obtained by extensive study or “Spending lots of time” with the author. I would think a comparison of the epistles of Timothy to those of Paul’s would end such an argument. For those still unconvinced, rest assured that, no matter how long you might have been able to hang out with Shakespeare you still wouldn’t be able to write one of his plays.

Earthquakes in Laodicea and Colossae:

“Sometimes one also hears the argument that Paul could not have written to Colossae from Rome as late as A.D. 62 because the city of Colossae was destroyed by an earthquake in that year. This is confusing the earthquake which struck Laodicea in A.D. 60–61 with the earthquake which hit Colossae in A.D. 64. It is unfortunate that while Laodicea has undergone a good deal of archaeological work in recent years, Colossae still remains one of the NT sites which has never been excavated. Work would need to be done there before we could begin to assess the effects of the earthquake on that small town.”4

Laodicea and Colossae are only 10 miles apart. An earthquake capable of doing damage to one would be felt in both cities and probably do the same amount of damage. If Paul had written Colossians in 62 A.D. it would be remarkable for him to refrain from mentioning a Laodicean earthquake that happened one year prior. The second 64 A.D. quake in  Colossae does not inform the the dating of the epistle, at all.

Lost Epistle to Laodicea

In Colossians 4, Paul asks the Colossians and Laodiceans to read each other’s letters. It’s highly probably that an epistle written to the Laodiceans has been lost.

Colossians Outline5

Doctrine: Christ’s Preeminence Declared

  1. Greeting (1:1–2)
  2. Thanksgiving (1:3–8)
  3. Prayer (1:9–14)
  4. Praise to Christ (1:15–20)
    a) Christ is Lord of creation ( 1: 15–17)
    b) Christ is Lord of redemption ( 1: 18–20)
  5. Reconciliation of the Colossians to God ( 1: 21–23)
  6. The Apostle Paul’s Labor for the Gospel ( 1: 24–2: 3)
    a) Paul’s suffering and stewardship of the mystery ( 1: 24–28)
    b) Paul’s labor for the Colossians ( 1: 29–2: 3)

Danger: Christ’s Preeminence Defended

  1. The Dangerous Teaching at Colossae ( 2: 4–23)
    a) Warning about a deceptive teaching ( 2: 4–8)
    b) Help for the danger: resources in Christ ( 2: 9–15)
    c) Additional warnings about the teaching ( 2: 16–23)

Duty: Christ’s Preeminence Demonstrated

  1. The Proper Focus: Christ and the Life Above ( 3: 1–4)
  2. Instructions on Living the Christian Life ( 3: 5–4: 6)
    a) Dealing with the sins of the past ( 3: 5–11)
    b) Putting on the virtues of Christ ( 3: 12–17)
    c) Living in the Christian household ( 3: 18–4: 1)
    d) Persistence in prayer ( 4: 2–4)
    e) Good behavior toward those outside the community ( 4: 5–6)
  3. Personal Greetings and Instructions ( 4: 7–17)
    a) Remarks about the messengers carrying the letter ( 4: 7–9)
    b) Greetings from Paul’s associates ( 4: 10–14)
    c) Greetings to the Christians in Laodicea ( 4: 15–17)
  4. Letter Closing ( 4: 18)
  1. Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 165). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers. ↩
  2. Wright, N. T. (1986). Colossians and Philemon: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 12, p. 38). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. ↩
  3. Wright, N. T. (1986). Colossians and Philemon: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 12, p. 40). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. ↩
  4. Witherington, B., III. (2007). The letters to Philemon, the Colossians, and the Ephesians : a socio-rhetorical commentary on the captivity Epistles (p. 19). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. ↩
  5. ESV Study Bible ↩
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Arthur Rackham
Children

Fairy Tales & Mythology

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Words are how the truth comes to us. They’re also how it can be taken away. Seen only as symbols and grammar, truth and lies are made from the same raw material. Your only hope is discernment. Your life depends on it.

Tolkien and Lewis regarded the fairy tale as a perfectly suited literary vehicle for expressing eternal truth. Lewis credits Tolkien and a mutual friend with helping him see that his love of myth and fairy tale blinded him to, yet prepared him for, the Gospels. He reluctantly came to believe the Gospels were eyewitness accounts of a “true myth”.1

“I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”2

Mythology or History?

Another term used as a pejorative is mythology.

All mythology is presumed myth as the victors decide what is official history. The history of the defeated is, by definition, written by outlaws. A generation later the history of the defeated is mythology or conspiracy if it’s remembered, at all.

It’s helpful to think of mythology as collections of potential truths inconvenient to the succession of political power. Likewise, “History” is as likely to be the glorification of bureaucrats and technocrats as an accurate re-telling of the facts.

A series of time-related truths, thoroughly vetted and discerned, is not mythology or conspiracy; it’s history.

Trivium & Quadrivium

The subjects of history and philosophy were considered to be so demanding, yet so important, that they weren’t even presented to the student until after they’d studied the subjects of the trivium (Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric) and, ideally, those of the quadrivium (Arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy).3

“These seven heads were supposed to include universal knowledge. He who was master of these was thought to have no need of a preceptor to explain any books or to solve any questions which lay within the compass of human reason, the knowledge of the trivium having furnished him with the key to all language, and that of the quadrivium having opened to him the secret laws of nature.”4

“… When a few were instructed in the trivium, and very few studied the quadrivium, to be master of both was sufficient to complete the character of a philosopher … The candidate, having reached this point, is now supposed to have accomplish the task upon which he had entered – he has reached the last step, and is now ready to receive the full fruition of human learning.”5

“Some day you’ll be old enough”

The ability to grasp eternal truths and history and bring them to bear on decisions is a high achievement of a classical education. Only philosophy, by attempting to comprehend meaning, imposes greater demands for greater rewards.

“Some day you’ll be old enough” to start reading fairy tales again to glean eternal truths. Someday you’ll be educated enough to distinguish real history from stories convenient to political power.

Words are how the truth comes to us. They’re also how it can be taken away. Seen only as symbols and grammar, truth and lies are made from the same raw material. Your only hope is discernment. Your life depends on it.

  1. A 1931 letter to childhood friend Arthur Greeves, Lewis credits Tolkien (and mutual friend Hugo Dyson). Paragraph reworded and reordered from an article written by Bruce Edwards (https://erlc.com/article/c-s-lewis-051101). ↩
  2. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis ↩
  3. Cathedral Schools of the early Middle Ages (527) on which the curriculum of Medieval universities were based (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedral_school) ↩
  4. Hist. of Philos. Vol ii. P. 337 ↩
  5. The symbolism of Freemasonry: Illustrating and Explaining its Science and Philosophy, it’s Legends, Myths, and Symbols. By Albert Gallatin Mackey, M.D., 1869. ↩
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Your Optimal Equation
Business

Introducing Your Optimal Life Equation

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Your Optimal Life Equation (YOLE) is an algebraic formula to describe, contemplate, and re-calibrate the optimality of one’s life.  The relationships of the major elements are shown as well as the potential  impacts a change may have. The equation is introduced, here, and referred to throughout the “The Outliers Handbook“.

When I got the idea to describe an Optimal life with an algebraic formula the flaws in the approach were obvious: The units don’t match and assigning one number to something that, by its very nature, is multi-dimensional is absurd. Such absurdities are built-in to something else passed on as knowledge, every day . . . the IQ. Who in the world thinks something as multi-faceted as intelligence can be fully captured and described by an integer? It can’t. And yet, the IQ is still, somehow, useful. So is YOLE.

Cross-discipline metaphors are useful for the same reason any metaphor can be: Patterns in nature are like other patterns in nature. Sometimes, the same fractal pattern in one natural structure is duplicated exactly in another. Fractals prove that stupefying complexity can emerge from utter simplicity. The reverse is not true.

Those who have no problem “dividing” a mountain by a triangle  or seeing the golden ratio in a conch shell or human face may find YOLE useful. It doesn’t reach fractal-like perfection (Yet) but Your Optimal Life Equation may show how some of the major elements of life may be changed to lead to a more optimally functioning one.

Your Optimal Equation

Where all people have S,W,V,G,H,T,El,j,c and at least one Pg. Not every person has Pr, Pb or EB.

 

YOE-Variables
Key

Talking Through the Equation

The sum total of your Strengths and Weaknesses is all you have to maintain everything you Value, your Goals, the People in your life (H), and the Things you own. The results of that division is multiplied by  the purposeful roles you play in the lives of others, the purpose of your business activities, and whatever you most desire or worship (Your God). The resulting numerator is what you bring into (Is divided by) your larger environment: The physical or virtual stage of  your life and business. The major elements of your Environment are physical location, legal jurisdiction and community. Your business may have a separate environment with its own physical location, legal jurisdiction and community.

Small Changes Can Have a Huge Impact

The legal jurisdiction of one’s physical body and business could be the sole determining factor of whether one is at liberty to accomplish anything, at all. Likewise, the wrong community could leave one alone and bereft of the amplifications (And enjoyment) that a strong and thriving community can provide.

Whether or not one has an immediate family, an optional component of Pr , will have a huge impact on the nature of the most purposeful roles in one’s life.

What You Control . . .

You determine the inputs and amounts of most variables. You may have little to no control over some of them, in the short-term. You can have some degree of control over most of them, eventually. It’s  daunting to realize how most of the important aspects of life are the direct result of personal choice. The sheer amount of decisions one could make to optimize life is probably why people rarely take full control over all the elements they could potentially control. Of course, depending on resources available  (Strengths) an attempt to control everything might lead to a failure to control anything.

. . . and What You Don’t

Your unique disposition of strengths and weaknesses is part of your natural disposition at birth. You have huge latitude in honing and deploying strengths. You also have many options for minimizing the impacts of natural weaknesses. However, it’s still mostly a matter of playing smarter with the hand you’ve been dealt.

Likewise, you don’t choose to live on “The grid” of planet earth. You choose where to locate the various elements of your life on that grid.

You don’t choose the members of your local (And virtual) communities. You choose the location and subjects around which those communities are organized, and possibly united.

On Values

Values present a cost to maintain and uphold. Hold to as few of the best values in life while tending to values.  Discard bad values and replace merely good values with great ones. Great values are consistent with Purpose(s) and decrease net costs to Strengths.

On Goals

Goals are costly to achieve. Achieving goals is usually a good thing. A great thing, however, is achieving great goals. Great goals align with the purposes of your life. Discrimination between good and great goals requires awareness of purpose(s).

On People (H)

People can be among the greatest sources of abundance on earth. They can also be the most taxing. The task here is to have the right balance of people in your life. Those congruent with your purposes will bring abundance to your life (And you to theirs) even if they’re taxing. For one thing, people tend to motivate growth. Growth makes us stronger and leaves us with more strengths to optimize life. Therefore, the tax of people in our lives may be a large cost in the short-term and change the fundamental balance of the equation in the long-term. People are a “Capital” investment in the grandest sense of the world.

On Things

Things, or possessions, require some combination of storage, maintenance, insurance, licensing, money, time, registration, bill processing (Registration renewal, licensing updates, etc.) and on and on. The least number of Things you need to accomplish purpose(s) the better.

On Purpose(s)

Ants, snails, and bugs may have one purpose. People have multiple purposes. The popular myth that people have just one purpose is harmful and tends to thwart the discovery of what one’s purposes may be. There’s a purpose for every role, family member, business activity, ongoing responsibility and activity in your life. The YOLE encapsulates them all into the roles you play in the lives of others, business purposes, and God (Pr,b,g).

On Environment(s)

Personal and Business environments might be separate. Therefore, the equation allows for both E and EB. Each have their own components of physical location, legal jurisdiction and community.

Location has a dramatic affect on the prevailing Law, Jurisdiction, and Community with which you’re interacting with in time. However, physical location is not a static, one-time-only, choice. With cyberspace, jet travel, dual-citizenship, and multi-state and national entities a person’s Environment is no longer determined solely by physical Location. Of course, if your E and EB are tied to one physical location then it makes the equation easier to “Calculate”. The cost of that simplicity will probably increase as technocratic mechanisms of control and taxation become more refined and perfected. Also, as such mechanisms are refined and perfected E, EB, and their subcomponents will tend to merge into one. The more completely merged, the more each component will be the same for more people. Physical locations will always vary but characteristics of legal jurisdiction and community may become so similar that distinctions are of little importance. In some ways this can be seen as one drives across the US stopping into the “Same” fast-food franchises in every state.

Environments are multi-locational and sometimes virtual. Where is the PT (Perpetual Traveler) located if his business is in one country, money in another, investments in another and body in another? His body can only be in one location at a time, of course. But will he be there long enough to be viewed as a resident (Legal jurisdiction)? Even so, his business may be in a different jurisdiction. Complex combinations can grow out of varied components of E and EB.

Reality has ~10 Dimensions, Not Four

Theoretical physicists now presume Reality presents in 10 dimensions. That’s six more than most people assume comprise the Reality in which their life is taking place. To distinguish the standard four from the 10 I’ll use the convention of uppercase Reality (10) and lowercase reality (4). I might turn YOLE into a graphic to account for Reality. For now, think of E as not limited to the dimensions of X,Y,Z and Time/Space but extending into dimensions that may or may not be discernible to the five senses.

People with a keener sense of dimensions, beyond the four, may possess either a physical, intellectual or theological strength. Some choices of Pg enable such awareness and some preclude it. Since anything that obscures the full  dimensions of Reality is a handicap one can better optimize life with a Pg that enables full awareness.

What God?

Desire provides powerful insight into purpose. People align their lives with what they most desire in the moment. What people most desire can be described as their god of the moment.

There are as many gods (Idols) as there are nouns in the dictionary: Money, alcohol, sex, prestige, control over others, Buddha, Allah, nature, Lucifer or the Holy Trinity of the God of the Bible, etc. Gods are swapped in and out over time. Whatever one desires most during a given period is the god of that period. Sex in the morning, money in the afternoon, control over others at night . . . gods tend to become the sole purpose of one’s life for the time period they are most desired. During that period everything about the person tends to be oriented around obtaining or reveling in (Worshipping) whatever it is. Such desires effect physical, mental and spiritual changes in the person experiencing them. In a sense, we become what we most desire.

Business (Job) vs. Calling

If what you do for a living is also the highest purpose of your life, i.e., your business or job is also your calling,  then Pb will be a higher “Number” or of greater magnitude, to be more accurate.. The components of your business environment (EB) will still have a large impact on the equation but the first main numerator of the equation will tend to offset any negatives that may be components of EB.

Some Output Examples

O = (((S + W) / (V + G + H + T)) * Pr,b,g) / (El,j,c * EBl,j,c)

  • Strength(s) and Purpose(s) are the positive inputs used to optimize life. Their number, amount, deployment and alignment determine the positive “Numbers” of the equation, after which, everything gets divided.
  • By minimizing the impact of your weaknesses the impact of your strengths is greater.
  • Choose only the highest quality Values to uphold or maintain because any value presents a cost to your strengths to maintain. Replace merely good values with great values.
  • Choose only the highest quality goals to accomplish because any goal presents an achievement cost to your strengths. Replace merely good goals with great goals. Great goals still tax your strengths but are also components of Purpose and, therefore, counterbalance the equation.
  • Surround yourself with high quality people. All roles and relationships tax your strengths but the right people are components of Purpose and counterbalance the equation.
  • The less Things you own (Store, maintain, insure, move, sell, buy) the better. Anything that owns you must go. Such things make an optimal life impossible unless the purpose of your life is Thing(s).
  • If you have no Purpose(s) the chance of optimizing life falls to zero.
  • If you get stronger (Or deploy existing strengths more efficiently) you can support more Values, Goals, People and Things in your life. However, the least number of these you have, ideally keeping only those that will be factored with  purpose(s), the more optimal your life.
  • If the impact of your weaknesses are lessened you can support more Values, Goals, People and Things in your life because the tax (Direct subtraction) to your strengths is lessened.

This is a short list of example outputs from YOLE. It is, by no means, exhaustive.

On and On It Goes

There’s no end to the complexities of even one human life. The YOLE can be referred to in the middle of a storm (When nothing seems clear because everything is happening fast) or tranquil waters (When everything is fine and you want to focus on what small changes might have the best impact). Whatever the context it can show how some of major elements of life may be changed to enable one’s life to function more optimally. In “The Outliers Handbook” I refer to the equation in the context of the subjects and areas of life being addressed.

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The Outlier’s Handbook

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The world discards ideas and people that present multiple standard deviations away from “normal”. And yet, Reality has always been phenomenal and noumenal. To ensure you’re able to thrive in the artificial chaos of this generation you’ll need to be an outlier, in many ways. Here’s “The Outlier’s Handbook” to optimize your trajectory.

The Outlier’s Handbook

(Thriving in Artificial Chaos)

Table of Contents

Part 1 — What Outliers?

“Let Your Reasonableness Be Known to Everyone”

  • Ockham’s Razor: Benefits & Limits
  • The Bookends of Normalcy Bias & Cognitive Dissonance
  • “This Book Goes Too Far!”

What Outliers?

  • Outliers Defined
  • You Know You’re An Outlier If . . .
  • Outlier Benefits
  • Outlier Costs
  • Personal Secession and Other Outlier Mindsets

Part 2 — It’s Your World, Boss!

This Is Where You Live

American Roulette

  • The Constitution is Safe!
  • A Bank with Social Services Around It
  • Democracy: The God that Failed
  • The Corporation
  • The Deep State
  • Fascism, American Style

Lifecycle of Nations

  • “Poverty of Nations” Report Card
  • Imperial Collapse Playbook

Danger, Will Robinson!

Technocracy: The Trojan Horse of Global Transformation

Regional Bloc Head Mercantilism

  • Gee, Maybe Nation-States Weren’t So Bad, After All
  • Solutions Amidst Global Fascism
  • Change Happens Like This, Now

Part 3 — The Usual Suspects

Call Them As You See Them

Origin & Story of Rulers and Authorities

  • Angelic Gen 6 View: Consistency & Insights
  • So, Who are “They”?
  • The “New” Face of Evil (Follow the Blood)
  • Long Term Trends Require Spiritual Unity
  • The Minions
  • A Working Structure of Oppression

They Walk Among Us

  • Serial Killers
  • How Can You Spot One?
  • Political Ponerology
  • 7 signs you might be dating one
  • Protection From Them
  • Speech Patterns
  • I, Psychopath
  • The Hidden Cost of Killing Psychopaths
  • Beware the Backlash

Elements of Their World View

Their Goals

  • ”Ye Shall Be As Gods”

Their Methods

  • The Moral Code of Evil
  • Inversion
  • Undisclosed Adhesion Contracts
  • Counterfeit Money
  • Controlled Markets
  • Technocracy
  • Stacked & Interlocking Pyramidical Structures
  • Consolidation
  • Democracy
  • Eugenics
  • Perpetual Fear
  • Long-Term Planning
  • With Methods Like This, Who Needs the Occult?

Part 4 — Acquiring Immunity

Move #1: Acquire Personal Immunity

Personal Matters

  • Purpose is Everything
  • Managing Outlierhood
  • Growth
  • Ethical Time Travel

Health Matters

  • First Do No Harm
  • Clean Food, Water, Air & Place
  • Nutrient Dense Diet
  • Gut Flora, Probiotics and the Second Brain
  • Optimal Exercise
  • Stress & Breathing
  • Life Extension & Blood Sugar Management
  • Sensible Health Insurance
  • Putting It All Together

Spiritual Matters

  • Intelligent or Random Design
  • Oneism (Monism) vs. Dualism
  • CINO’s & MINO’s
  • Christianity Leads To Science, Islam leads to Murder
  • Gandhi or Jesus?
  • Get Blessed
  • Get Uncursed
  • Supernatural Immunity: The Mind & Way Of Christ
  • The Whole Council of God
  • Spiritual Warfare
  • Practical Examples of Spiritually Based Solutions

Locational Matters

  • The Best Place to Live
  • Where Not to Live
  • Should you relocate?
  • The World is Yours
  • The Illusion of Ownership
  • Mobility
  • G.O.O.D Project – Lessons Learned

Family Matters

  • Instrument of Recursive Perfection
  • Spouse Choice
  • Children
  • Extended Family
  • Friends Worth the Title are Family
  • Community

Legal Matters

  • Natural Law
  • The Constitution is Safe!
  • Jurisdiction Matters
  • Where is the Agreement?
  • It’s Hard to Be a Free Man
  • Unraveling Your Liberty

Financial Matters

  • Money is for Immunity & Purpose
  • Business as Extension of Purpose
  • Tax Penalties for Fear and Poor Planning
  • Mortgage Slavery, Repealed
  • Austrian Economics is Real Economics
  • Investments in Immunity & Purpose Have the Highest ROI
  • Asset Protection

Political Matters

  • Terms of “State” & “Government”
  • The Diversion Of Left – Right Thinking
  • The Votes that Matter
  • Optimal Government = Perfect Self-Government
  • The Chief Asset Of The State: Fear & Belief In It’s Necessity
  • All Matters of Liberty Are Related
  • Caveat Viator: Libertarianism and Anarchy are Aspects of a Complete Worldview
  • Govern Thyself Perfectly and Hold Death Dear

Perspective Matters

  • The Most Valuable Commodity on the Planet
  • Philosophers On Donuts
  • Terms of “Freedom” & “Liberty”
  • Equality & Authority
  • Freedom & Structure
  • Peace Does Not Flow From Passivity
  • Proof and Truth
  • You Can’t Beat Everything with Nothing
  • “Let’s Just Split the Difference and Find a Middle Ground”
  • Stoicism
  • The Opportunity in Uncertainty
  • If Swamp Rats Can’t be Exterminated Why Can You?
  • What About America?

Doing Matters

  • Tony Robbin’s Best Trick
  • Think Spiritually, Act Locally
  • Getting Things Done
  • Low Hanging Fruit
  • Tragic Flaws of Conventional Prepping
  • Expert Tips
  • How To Lose Without Fighting (An Outlier’s Not To-Do List)

Part 5 — Ants & The Human Mosaic

Change The World in Four Moves

  • Humans as an Ant Army
  • Move #1: Immunity
  • Move #2: Specialize
  • Move #3: Move
  • Move #4: Cooperate
  • Humanize the Best Attributes of Animals & Insects

Part 6 — Problems: Solutions

Move #2: Specialize & Pick One

Personal Concerns

  • Training Disguised as Education
  • Shortening Attention Spans
  • Media Agitprop

Health Concerns

  • Eugenics
  • Vaccines Vs. Immunity
  • Socialized Medicine
  • Food Fascism & GMOs
  • Fluoridated water
  • Nuclear Waste & Meltdown Disasters
  • Geo-Engineering
  • Disease(s) Cured

Spiritual Concerns

  • Psychopathy
  • Moral Relativism
  • Odious Debt (Slavery)
  • Wars of Conquest
  • False-Flag Attacks
  • End Times Decoder Rings
  • 501c3 Churches

Locational Concerns

  • Agenda 21
  • Scientific Control Grid
  • Power Grid Fragility

Family Concerns

  • The State as Great Father
  • Broken Families

Legal Concerns

  • Patent Squelching
  • Webs of Undisclosed Adhesion Contracts
  • Drug Wars
  • Licensing
  • Militarization of Police
  • Surveillance State
  • Monopoly
  • Bonus: Beating Traffic Tickets

Financial Concerns

  • Fractional Reserve Banking (The Theft of Human Labor)
  • Disappearing Middle-Class A.K.A Unemployment
  • Currency Wars
  • US Bankruptcy
  • World Banking Systems
  • Institutional(ized) Theft
  • Market Manipulation
  • Global Cooling, Warming …Climate Change?
  • Technocracy

Political Concerns

  • Collectivism
  • Globalism

Part 7 — Appendices

  • In Case of Emergency: Read First!
  • Four Ways to Parse Solutions
  • Reading List for Outliers
  • Outlier Creeds
  • Sovereignty & Law
  • Agorist Manifesto in 95 Theses
  • Agorist Road-map Kyle Bennet
  • 100 Ways To Leave Leviathan
  • Wayne & Barry’s Guide for World Rulers
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Church Preparedness Plan
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Church Preparedness Plan

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Scriptural Basis & Motivation

It was wise for Joseph and the Pharoah to trust God’s warning and prepare for the Egyptian famine. God warned, they listened, and Joseph prepared. By setting aside the wheat and supplies to save a nation Joseph was an active participant in God’s plan. This pattern in scripture well established: God, while capable and in control of all, weaves his people into the unfolding of his plans. Whether it be for spreading the Gospel, delivering a message or preparing his people for hard times, we are part of God’s plans.

“By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.” — Hebrews 11:7

As you read through applicable scriptures ask yourself where you may fit into His unfolding plans. The answers will be different for everyone as we are each unique parts of the body. The only thing we all have in common and know, for sure, is that we all play a role in God’s plan for redemption and kingdom come.

“The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

“One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil,
but a fool is reckless and careless.”

“For the simple are killed by their turning away,
and the complacency of fools destroys them;
but whoever listens to me will dwell secure
and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.” — Proverbs 22:3 , 14:16 , 1:32-33

We’re told the prudent see danger and hide from it, that the wise must turn away from evil, and to listen to God to be at ease and without dread of disaster. And so, wisdom, itself, makes us part of God’s plan in listening, seeing, hiding and turning away.

We are saved by faith and not by works and yet, far from being complacent, God’s wisdom is for us to participate in his plans. In saving us by faith, God has, in turn, made us part of his plan of salvation for others.

Prepare the Way of the Lord!

Mission Statement

  1. An Emergency Kit in every Home,
  2. A Radio in every Small Group,
  3. A Communication Plan for every Family.

Goals

  • To maintain a preparedness plan for the church to be kept as a working document, updated periodically and distributed to the church.
  • To address as many needs, in advance, of predictable emergencies that may occur in the local area.
  • To be flexible and open to adjustment should the membership decide they have been lead strongly to prepare for something that has been made known to them.
  • To ensure that members of the church are able to communicate and gather together in the absence of conventional means of communication.
  • To encourage and give specific suggestions to members of the church to prepare for their own emergency needs so that they may be able to better serve each other, the church, and the local community, in times of need.
  • To share plans with local sister churches to enable the church to more easily come together in times of need.
  • To work towards a longer term goal of being able to assist the broader community in times of need.

Strategy

“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” — John 15:7-8

A Foundation in Two Steps

Most of the goals of this plan are achieved in only two steps: 1) Ensuring that each family has the items they would need in an emergency and, 2) Enabling each family to communicate with the rest of the church in the absence of phone, web or e-mail services.

After these two things are achieved the rest of the plan becomes a means to improve quality of life, address special needs of the church in an emergency, and enable the church to better serve each other and the broader community.

A Decentralized Plan

This is a decentralized plan for many compelling reasons:

  • Supplies are prepositioned at the place they will be used.
  • The work of transport and distribution is performed, in advance, which frees up resources during an actual emergency.
  • The purchasing, storage, maintenance and periodic updates required for all kits is performed by the church family that will be using the items.
  • Standardized kits and supplies can be customized to the individual needs of each family.
  • The church is not be made a target for theft and loss which deceases the potential for crime while ensuring that supplies will be available in times of emergency.

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Primary Determining Factor

The primary determining factor of the success of this plan, after God’s will, is the number of families who address their own basic needs, in advance. To a large extent this will determine our ability to make ourselves available to serve others.

The more church families that can manage to acquire all the items recommended in the TDF Kits (Things That Disappear First) the more each member family “. . .will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”

The church is only as prepared as each member family is prepared. All desire and ability to serve each other and the broader community is an outgrowth of the completeness of providing for these needs, in advance.

Gathering in His Name

“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” — Matthew 18:19-20

Only a small percentage of members need have radios to enable most of the church to communicate and arrange to gather in His name. For example, one radio per small group would have a dramatic impact in enabling the entire church to stay in touch and is probably the best first step.

The optimal number of radio operators will be determined by mapping out the location of all church members, taking geographical limitations into consideration and performing subsequent tests.

Serving these primary operators can be any number of relays (Other members using FRS/GMRS, CB Radios and household AM/FM receivers).

Clearing the Decks (& Network), in Advance

It is crucial to understand that no matter how many radios are used to stay in touch the “Network” can be easily overwhelmed. The most likely culprit of that overwhelm will be requests for items described in the TDF kits. In this way, the TDF kits and radio network are intimately tied together and affected by one another. To the extent that such items can be obtained, in advance, by each church family the network is freed up to relay important news, special requests and address aspects of an emergency that cannot be anticipated.

Therefore, as a church, we address as many needs as can be anticipated, in advance, so that our work during an emergency can best focused on serving others.

The Rest of the Plan

The rest of the plan can be as detailed and complete as the church may see fit to document. The entire plan rests on God’s will, the willingness of each family to set aside supplies for their own basic needs and the ability of the church to communicate with each other in the absence of conventional services.

The strategy for the rest of this plan will be gathered and documented through these “Next Steps”:

  • Sharing the Plan with Church Leaders & Members
  • Sharing Thoughts & Plans with Other Churches?
  • Incorporating Feedback into Plan
  • Enabling Members to Retrieve Updated Plans
  • Embed Templates in the Plan to Assist each Family
  • Add to Family Directory- List of Skills, Tools, Special needs.
  • Designate Radio Operators in Family Directory
  • Create Map of Operators

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Self-Deployment
Business

20 Ways to Be Self-Deployed in the Next 10 Minutes

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Either make a list or work on someone else’s. Be deployed or get deployed.

It’s that simple. What’s hard to grasp is how small steps, decisions and work accumulate over time, multiply and lead to freedom. And, yes, I’m bypassing “Self-Employment” and going right to the heart of the matter. State conjured terms don’t lead to a purposeful life. The truth shall set us free and it begins with precise language.

People who’ve done it know that deploying yourself is a project that can’t be checked off as done. There’s always something needed to keep it going. Through it all . . . one thing matters most: The next thing. The next thing is never so critical than when it’s the first thing. So, say a prayer and align your being and talents with the Creator of all things . . . and then make a list and get to work. That’s what Self-Deployment is. The first 100 steps are the hardest. Here’s the first 20 to optimize your trajectory.

Bet they’re not what your think.

20 Ways to Self-Deploy

  1. Find or create a place where you can think clearly. Bring a notebook, pen and ten bucks to get a cup of tea, snack or whatever else keeps you from concentrating. If you have a desk at home then . . . .
  2. Clean up your desk – Until it doesn’t distract you anymore.
  3. Make a list of everything you have to do until you can’t think of anything else. If you’re returning to this list from a previous session do this step again until your mind is clear.
  4. Write down everything you can’t get off your mind. Anything you can’t stop thinking about is eligible. Keep writing even if it takes all the time you have available. If you’re returning to this list from a previous session do this step again until your mind is clear.
  5. If you get stuck or overwhelmed go workout at the gym. That’s it, you’re done for the day. Don’t feel bad. This is the best thing you could possibly do to get unstuck for tomorrow or later.
  6. If you already have an idea –Brainstorm. – It’s no good to move on to the next step if you can’t wait to write everything down about a new business idea. Who knows? It may just be the one! But, hold back that judgment for now.
  7. Get organized – Build the Ark before the flood. If you’re scattered now it only gets worse. All this this purging and brainstorming tends to overwhelm personal organization. Start improving your system now. Ideas are the fuel of the freedom machine. Learn how to capture and organize them. GTD may be the optimal place to get started..
  8. Learn How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes. Purpose is key to everything even if you don’t know what yours are, yet. Nobody wants to climb to the top of a ladder only to find it’s resting against the wrong building.
  9. Understand Your Optimal Equation– This is how the big picture fits together. Knowing your purpose is the best way to start. However, even when you do other variables of your life can still drag you down. The more self-knowledge you have about the complete range of your strengths, weaknesses, values, goals and purpose the better chance you have at optimizing the work you do in any environment. For now, move on to discovering you strengths.
  10. Build on your strengths. Purchase and read StrengthsFinder 2.0 to discover your strengths. If you want to move forward without the benefit of the book then go ahead and attempt to list them all out. I recommend the book, however, because it’s hard to recognize our own strengths.
  11. Learn How to Find Work in Any Economy– See if any of those jobs interest you. If they do, can you provide those services as a business instead of working a job? If so, then vett that business after you . . .
  12. Learn How to Vett Any Business Idea in 20 Minutes or Less
  13. Create a Bucket List. We all have one. The only difference between you and everyone else is that you’re going to write yours down. Want to climb the pyramids? Dive the Great Barrier Reef? Fly your own helicopter?
  14. List every Life Goal you have. Unlike your bucket list, these are personal development milestones, levels of expertise, accredidations, states of being that provide inner satisfaction.
  15. Create a Not To-Do List. – This is a great technique to free up the time needed to work yourself free. If you’re currently working a job then you need all the little snippets of time you can get your hands on.
  16. Cut Back to The Essentials. Make a list of all expenses you could cut to make your life easier. Be brutal. By now you know that nothing matters more than freedom. Let go of all the crap costing money you could use to get free. Don’t make others free in exchange for things you don’t need. Get back to basics and Tools that multiply your productivity.
  17. Take a Little Trip – Not even at step 20 and I’ll bet your exhausted. These ‘little’ steps pack a punch. Alright, forget about everything and take a little trip off your beaten path. Go feed the ducks at the pond or ice skate around them. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Don’t come back until you stop giggling for no reason.
  18. SELL what you can, DONATE what you will and TRASH the rest. Trash everything you don’t need. List what you could sell to free up space, clutter, maintenance and money. Look in your garage. Stuff you don’t use is expensive in more ways than one.
  19. Outsource your weaknesses. Yeah, I know you can’t afford it. Be creative. Swap services with a buddy. Anybody from church need a place to stay for the summer? Offer a college student a part time job for room and board. Honey, can you do me a favor? etc., etc. . . .
  20. Use your job to break free. Purchase and read The 4-Hour Workweek. This is a great tool if you’re trying to work yourself free of a job.

What, no business plan? Uhhhhm, those are for getting others to loan you money.  By step 21 you’ll be on your way to creating money . . . but that’s a topic for another day. Work on one or two of these per day until they’re all done. On the way to completing the first 20 you’ll map out the first 100 or more. Those are the hardest, remember? If you lose your way repeat these rather haunting two sentences to yourself:

Either Make a list or work on someone else’s. Be deployed or get deployed.

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God

Modules For Manhood

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Book Review by Terence Gillespie

“A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.”
— Chinese proverb

If conversations with the wise were captured in all the categories a man needs, supplemented with the views of the wisest authors of history, and woven together for the modern man the result would be “Modules for Manhood”.

modules-1-spread

The goal of Kenneth W. Royce’s series is to impart “What Every Man Must Know” to “Transform yourself into a strong, patient, competent, and courageous Gentleman of Honor”. Judging by the first volume—with the remaining two to be published this year—Royce may have accomplished these rather lofty goals.

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Baby Crying
Children

Why is My Baby Crying?

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I was Mr. Mom the last two weeks for our 11 month old. His grandparents, who usually take care of him during the day, went on vacation. My wife works away from home. I work, too. . . from home. That put me in charge of the day care.

By our third day, together, I was able to figure out what he wanted when he whined or cried. By the fourth day his whimpering stopped because he had what he needed before having to cry about it. Taking care of him was a lot easier than I expected. Sure, he needs lots of attention, but, it was nothing like the awful stories I’ve been hearing all my life. I began to think about why babies have a reputation for being so difficult. And, what’s making it easier for us?

I’m no more a baby expert than any parent. What I’m listing, here, are seven reasons why I think we’re having an easier time with our baby than the stories you’ll hear ‘out there‘. Six of them the parents can control. The last one is luck of the draw:

  1. Schedule
  2. Routines
  3. Company
  4. No Vaccines
  5. Balanced Meals
  6. Vitamins
  7. Disposition

(Note: This article was written in 2009. We’ve since had our second baby who was only a dream when writing this article. One thing that stands out, now, is the implication that a baby crying is, somehow, a disaster–or proof positive of a problem– that must be “solved”. Of course, it could be just that as crying is one of the few ways a baby can communicate . . . anything. What I left out, in my new-father haste to “solve the problem”, was the sheer joy of a baby crying when you “just know” there’s nothing seriously wrong. That’s why I chose the picture for the article of both a man and baby crying with mom laughing: It’s a more accurate portrayal of the wonder and beauty of this time in a  family’s life. I don’t want to live in a world where baby’s don’t cry nor do I mean to contribute to such a world through any words that I may write. What I do want to share with potential new parents is how much easier, and lovely, it is to care for a crying baby than what you may have been told. That’s something I never knew, in large part, because the parents I might have learned from didn’t say. If silence is the worst mistake then I pray the Lord keep me from making it and keep it short and sweet it the process.)

Schedule

Timothy’s on a loose schedule for the entire day. It’s specific in content and sequence. It’s flexible in start time with naps and bottles dropping off depending on his mood and other activities:

  1. Wake up and Bottle – Whey protein (No cows milk) With Vitamins and Fatty Acids.
  2. Play or sleep until . . .
  3. Breakfeast – oatmeal with a scoop of stomach flora
  4. Bath and Change Clothes
  5. Ride in Toy Car around the block
  6. Play, Bottle then Nap
  7. Lunch
  8. Play, Bottle then Nap
  9. Dinner
  10. Play
  11. Bottle (with cereal) then off to bed.

This is easier than it looks. The start times shift up to an hour though always in the same sequence. There’s many benefits for him (And for me, these last two weeks) in being on a schedule like this:

  • Predictability – The baby knows what to expect and so do we. Neither of us is surprised by bath time or when its time to take a knap. The baby begins to expect to receive all the things he needs at a certain time. It becomes easy to figure out what he may be missing if he does start to whine or cry. In other words, it makes the process of elimination for why he’s crying very simple.
  • Planning – All of us know what is happening and when, including the baby. We can plan the times for phone calls, shopping for items needed, visits from friends, working out at the gym or whatever else is going on in our non-baby life.
  • Comforting – It seems to me the schedule removes a certain anxiety from the baby’s mood. His emotions and metabolism ebb and flow as the schedule unfolds. He knows that everything he needs is going to be given to him when its time to be given. And it was comforting for me to know that I was doing everything necessary for him and not leaving anything out.
  • Ease of Transition to Backup Caretaker – This is an awesome benefit! It made it very easy for me to step in as primary caretaker. Timothy’s schedule didn’t change at all when grandmom and grandpop went on vacation. I was clumsy, at first, but knew what and when to do everything and was certain nothing was being left out because of the schedule they gave me. When he cried in the first three days it was because I was not getting him to the next item on his schedule in time or he wanted a bottle instead of a nap, or, vice versa.

Routines

Everything on and off his schedule unfolds in a predictable way:

  • When he’s watching a cartoon he’s sitting in his chair and hears the sound of us in the kitchen making his lunch.
  • He knows its time to take a nap when we’re lying next to him after his morning bottle.
  • He knows he’s going for a car ride when the dog starts barking and we get his toy car ready.

This is real SuperNanny stuff, I know. But, we’re planning on having a second child and I think schedules and routines are going to be key in managing our lives. I also think they’re going to be key in having less babies crying for seemingly no reason. And if they cry, we’ll have good clues as to why.

Company

Not having company makes Timothy cry.

Other than when he’s sleeping he wants company at all times. This will probably change in a few years as he starts reading or playing with more educational toys. But, for now, he wants someone with him at all times. You don’t have to be looking at him or directly interacting with him. You just have to be there with him in the same room.

BTW, Isabel gets a special mention in this category: We get a little crying when switching company from mom to dad and just laughing when switching back to mom. Do we have a mama’s boy issue, here? Mmmmmmmm. Not sure. It only lasts about 45 seconds. We’ll see.

No Vaccines

I think we have a much easier time with Timothy because he wasn’t vaccinated. When he cries its for one of six reasons (See Conclusion, below). He’s not in a constant state of recovery from the three dozen antigens he would have gotten by now. That’s 36 less things to cry about.

For a thorough explanation of why we chose not to vaccinate see my article, Vaccines For My Baby. It was not an easy choice, our first pediatrician ‘fired’ us and it’s been the subject of many discussions. But, I do think it was the right choice and part of that is evident in Timothy’s lack of crying for ‘mysterious’ reasons.

I may be wrong, but, I suspect the reason babies have a reputation for endless and inexplicable crying is because of the dramatic rise in vaccines given to them since 1982. If you’ve got the other six items in this article under control then vaccines may be the crying culprit.

What a tragedy it would be if less people have babies because vaccines make them cry too much. New parents tell would-be parents their nightmarish stories and the endless patience needed to withstand constant crying. The would-be parents don’t have superhuman patience so opt out of having children, at all.

All I’ll say here is that vaccines are not needed to achieve immunization to the diseases for which they’re given. In most cases the fine print actually says that immunization is not guaranteed by the vaccine. The only thing that can guarantee protection from the world’s millions of diseases is the babies’ immune system — the very thing vaccines tend to destroy, not boost.

Balanced Meals

I get grumpy and grouchy when I eat the wrong foods. If I was a baby that would probably take the form of crying. I think its reasonable to say that a baby cries less on a balanced diet. Or, to put it another way: An unbalanced diet is unlikely to lead to less crying.

Blood sugar regulation is key to mood leveling. We’ve taken pains to remove high-glycemic food from our son’s diet. His diet is about 30-40-30 protien-carbs-fats with the carbs being all vegetables and fruits. His bottle is the closest to breast milk in content we could find with no cow’s milk (Whey protein, instead).

From what we’ve seen this seems to be a very balanced diet for him. It levels his blood sugar, keeps him satisfied until the next mealtime and his energy spikes are smooth and natural with no crashing in between.

Vitamins

What’s the opposite of a vaccine? Nutrition that assists rather than destroys your immune system. Vitamins, minerals and fatty acids are all added to Timothy’s morning bottle.

We give him extra vitamin D because babies get much less sun than toddlers. We also give him a baby appropriate liquid multi-vitamin, fatty acids and add a small scoop of beneficial bacteria for his stomach to his morning cereal.

All of this was recommended by our son’s doctor who is a naturopath. The stomach flora is recommended for babies who were breastfed for less than 6 months. The added vitamins are to supplement a babies diet since newborns are not eating a wide variety of food, yet. Bacteria in the stomach enables easier digestion: One less thing to cry about.

Disposition

This one’s luck of the draw.

Most of the parents I’ve talk with say their baby had a definite disposition from the moment they were born. That’s been true for us, as well.

I hear the term ‘colicky’ to describe a baby that cries all the time. Colic is a term for anything that causes abdominal pain in horses (And now babies, too). I’m not sure if this is 100% disposition. It could be one of the other 6 items in this article because the term ‘colicky’ is so broadly used.

I’ll know more about this after we have baby #2. For now I would just say that we did not draw the short straw on this one (Thank God).

Conclusion

Our baby cries for six reasons:

  1. Hungry
  2. Tired
  3. Dirty – Needs diaper change
  4. Company
  5. Pain – Bumps himself while playing
  6. Toy – Got pushed under the furniture or he wants one.

It’s worth saying that these are the only reasons he cries. I wish somebody gave me this list when I was deciding on having children. It’s a much shorter list than I was led to believe by rumours, magazine articles and stories floating around ‘out there’.

Addressing the six things that make our baby cry doesn’t require superhuman patience. It requires a simple rem edy to a short list of causes.

We didn’t draw the short straw on disposition, this time. If Baby #2 is ‘colicky’ at least we’ll have strategies in our control to minimize babys’ (And parents’) crying.

I’m grateful to my wife, mother and father-in-law for putting so many things in place that serve Timothy’s needs before he has to cry about them. He has a schedule, routines, company, is not vaccinated, has balanced meals, gets good nutrition and there is no mysterious or endless crying. None of these things are a big deal, alone. It is a very big deal, however, when they come together and make for a happy baby and a peaceful house.

Copyright © 2014 by Terence Gillespie. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit and a live link are given to McGillespie.com

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In-Laws on Wedding Cake
Children

Living With My In-Laws (One Year Later)

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It’s been 13 months since we moved my mother in to live with us. She was in a nursing home and it was time to get her out of there. Just prior, my mother and father-in-law moved in to live with us, as well. Five months later Timothy, our first child, was born.

That’s five adults, one baby and two dogs spread accross 4 generations; all living under one roof.

Our house was large enough, we had a baby on the way, needed help taking care of my mother and my in-laws were looking for a way to decrease their expenses and take life a little easier. For more background on the decision and the story of moving in together see Why I Live With My In-Laws.

This is an update to that article.

How’s It Going? – Bottom Line

Extremely well, with unexpected benefits and problems and ways to handle each.

Unexpected Benefits

Part of the ‘unexpected’ benefits are how much I didn’t expect to appreciate the benefits listed in my previous article as much as I do. Division of labor, economies of scale, precious time with family, help with mom. It’s one thing to think about these things and its quite another to experience them in your everyday life.

Grandparents for Timothy

This was just an idea last year when everyone moved in. Now, its real. The reality of having Timothy, Martha, Fabio and my mom together in the same house is truly priceless. There’s only three people on the planet that love Timothy as much as Isabel and I do. Having them all under one roof is a daily unfolding wonder and blessing. Even now I may not fully appreciate all the aspects and advantages to Timothy, and all of us.

And the babysitting? Are you kidding me? Who ya gonna call? Isabel and I haven’t had to contemplate the tradeoffs, risks and worries of leaving Timothy with a stranger as we run errands or just want to spend some alone time, together.

This is way beyond money.

Productivity at Home

I work at home. With an 8 month old baby it’s a miracle I can be so productive out of a home office. Sure, we could drop Timothy off at day care. He spends all day with his grandparents and me in what has to be the ideal environment. Even if we incurred the cost, risk and effort to leave Timothy at day care it would be a downgrade in the quality of his life and ours.

Daughter and Father

Isabel and Fabio have a similar temperament: They’re both quick to react and quick to wind down. At first, we all thought they’d be arguing with each other since they’re so similar. Nope. Turns out they’re so in tune with each other that things get resolved almost before they happen.

Daughter and Mother

Isabel and Martha don’t have the same tempermant. But, they are both very feminine and give ideas to each other in a non-competitive way. They may not admit this but I think they motivate each other to do more.

In other words, they both do more than they would without each other.

Mother-in-Law and Son-in-Law (Me)

Martha and I both tend to “Work behind the scenes” to accomplish our goals. Now we conspire with each other for the same purpose.

Nerve Center for Family

With five (Instead of two) adults in the same house its easier to keep in touch with extended family members and friends. That’s more connection for less effort. Since these are people we love and care about that is a very good thing.

All of us enjoy having guests. We have more guests because there are more people to visit. And, we enjoy them more because we’re all pitching in to entertain.

As a single man until the age of 44 I traveled for Christmas 20 years in a row. Now, I’m thrilled to have most of the family here and pass the travel burden onto the remaining single members of the family or those looking to take a break in wine country.

Circular Benefits

Everything that benefits one of us loops back around to benefit all of us. Here are some examples of how this plays out:

  1. My productivity at home leads to peace of mind and more abundance brought into our house. That peace of mind is felt by Timothy and sets an example for him that its possible to live a great life and not be stressed out all the time. More abundance leads to the ability to sustain our lifestyle.
  2. Isabel is freed up from most of the conventional tasks on a new mother’s list. The way I put it is, by the time her alarm clock rings in the morning, she has accomplished more than most new mothers can in two days.
  3. We purchased reclining couches for the living room to make it more comfortable to watch TV. That lead to ‘movie night’ Fridays. Movie night is a great excuse for everyone to spend time together. It also saves on the $150 it would cost for all four of us to go to the movie theatre after coke, popcorn, babysitting and who knows what else.

Unexpected Problems

And what about me and my new in-laws? Most people have trouble even with roomates. How about living with two new roomates you’re just getting to know? There had to be problems and arguments and blow-ups, don’t you think?

Not really. Sure, we’ve had our misunderstandings while getting to know each other, but, nothing more. Once you translate the culture and language our underlying goals are so united there’s nothing to argue about.

The real surprise was watching Fabio and Martha go through the adjustment of living with each other while spending the whole day together. They’d raised two kids and been married for 30 years, but, had never spent as much daily time together as when they moved in with us.

Trash

We do more shopping online, nowadays. Things that would normally come together in a bag get delivered separately in a box. That brings more boxes into the house. With baby showers, birthdays, more guests, medical supplies and holidays we have a lot of trash!

I’m bad about remembering trash day. That’s a disaster with six people in the house. One false move and we’ll never catch up without a trip to the dump.

Fabio has taken to overseeing our trash situation. Believe me, when I wake up on Friday morning and don’t have to panic at the sound of the garbage trucks I’m very grateful.

Space & House Layout

More people means more guests. Guests need a place to stay. Our only ‘spare’ room was my office. So, whenever we had guests I had to give up my office. Sure, I could use the computer during the day, but, at least half of my productivity happens at night after everyone is asleep.

Guests were’nt the only reason for a new home office. The only room that could hold my filing cabinets, computer, books, reference materials and have room for a meeting with another person was my first office. That was also the only downstairs room available for my mom. As it turned out, using the last remaining bedroom upstairs didn’t work for several reasons:

When guests came I lost night-time use of the office. For me that was about half of my productivity.

The room was not really all mine. Isabel kept her office books, cabinets, lights and reference materials in the room. The closet was half full of her stuff and the other half was an overflow closet used by Martha.

My office was half upstairs and half downstairs. I had to go up and down the stairs three times just to stage the items needed to work on a project. Any doorbell ring or need for additional materials would send me upstairs and downstairs, yet again.

And so . . .

The Man Cave is Born

What this all lead to was the need to create another room in the house. The optimal room would be:

  • Downstairs.
  • Big enough for all the ‘tools’ for my work.
  • Not infringe on another mandatory use of space.
  • Accessible, but not too accessible to the daily activities of the house.

And so, my friend David and carved out 1/3 of our 3-car garage and made it into an office. It took 2.5 months of back-breaking work. Frankly, it was a study in the drawbacks and benefits of working on only one goal and ignoring all others. One day I’ll write an article on whether or not that’s the optimal approach.

Although I had designed an addition to the house that would have been perfect it was just too expensive to build considering all the other purchases I was making to make sure we’d make it through this terrible downturn in the economy.

Person by Person

In my first article I said there had to be something in it for everyone for the whole multi-generational living to work. Now that we’ve been together 13 months let’s go person by person and look at how its been for each one of us.

Mom

The joy on my mom’s face when she see’s Timothy (Every day) says it all.

On her second trip to the doctor, four months after moving in, he couldn’t believe how much she had improved. And that was before Timothy was born. We have lunch every day together and sometimes even a party on the patio. Timothy looks over and screams when mom waves at him and that’s a great ‘conversation’ to watch.

My mom’s health is not well and she doesn’t always cooperate with Martha when its time to do her exercises. However, I have my doubts that she’d be with us, at all, if it weren’t for the comfort and care she receieves by living with us.

Martha

Martha is obviously happy and also a bit restless. She’s taken on another child to take care of during the day for extra income and earns every penny of it.

Fabio

Fabio loves being at home. Later, he’ll probably need to get out more. But, for now there’s plenty going on in the house to entertain.

Timothy

Timothy gets parents who are smiling and not stressed out. He has the priceless attention and love of his grandparents. He feels the support of living in a home where everyone is looking out for each other and gets far more interaction than would be possible in daycare.

He’s learning Spanish as his first language and will pick up english like a sponge when it’s time. He might even be ready to learn a third by the time most students are deciding on a second.

Isabel

Before Isabel’s alarm clock goes off in the morning she’s gotten more ‘done’ than most mothers could in three days. That’s because most of what needs to be done around the house is split between myself, Fabio, Martha or other Martha (Who comes to clean house three times a month).

“People like doing things for me.”, she says. As a smart husband I won’t touch that statement.

Me

When I was single just thinking about living like this would have been like thinking about walking on the moon. Even now its an unfolding mystery. I’m suprised to find very little on the internet written about the subject coming from Americans. For economic reasons I predict that’s going to change.

Ironically, being willing to give up the freedom I had when I was single has been the very means of becoming more free than I’ve ever felt in my life.

I’m surprised the whole arrangement goes as well as it does.

What Happens Around Here

Here’s some things that happen around here:

  • Almuerzo – Spanish for “Lunch”. Everyday at 12pm prepared by Fabio. You know its happening when the intercom rings.
  • Movie Night – We bought special couches that recline so up to 6 people can recline in comfort. I figure every movie saves us $150 though saving money wasn’t the motivation.
  • Boys Day / Girls Day – With lots of people around this need becomes obvious. The girls want to do their thing without prying eyes. The boys want to do their thing without hearing comments.

Everybody’s Got Their Secret Stash

Martha has her sweets, mom’s got her cookies, Fabio has his whisky and I have my figs and wine. Isabel doesn’t have to keep a stash because Fabio keeps it for her for. Or maybe she’s just better at keeping secrets than we are.

What Our Friends Said?

Last month our friends and family told us they gave us two months, tops.

Can you blame them? What odds do you give someone bungy jumping from a helicopter?

And this article is not a, “See?, We TOLD you it would work!” I can’t do that because the lifestyle is an unfolding mystery. I can tell you the benefits and drawbacks in retrospect, but, the future is not predictable.

One of my favorite comments was, “If we predict failure we only have to be right once. For you to pronounce success you have to be right 24 hours a day, forever”. That’s only true if we took some kind of club oath. I’d say being happy for a solid year counts for a good measure of success.

Hernan (Fabio’s brother) thanked Fabio, not me, for his hospitality for a 2 week stay at the house. It occured to me, that night, that it was a sign of the success of living together. It’s not really my house, anymore. Its “our” house.

The things I have are just things I’m using while I’m alive. They don’t seem like mine, really. They’re just things and tools and materials. Now the house has become just another tool to get a job done.

Coverage

One of my favorite benefits is coverage. Here’s some examples:

  • If I need to run an errand I have coverage for Timothy and mom’s care.
  • If Isabel needs to work late she has coverage for Timothy. Tasks she ‘meant’ to get done that night can be delegated to us and she’ll probably have dinner waiting for her when she gets home.
  • If Fabio wants to go to Colombia for a few weeks he can pack a few things and go. He can easily plug back into his routine upon return.
  • If Martha needs the afternoon to go the doctor there’s not much planning needed for Fabio and I to cover for her.

The real value of coverage is that it is general and flexible. As things come up for each of us we know others are there to cover for us. Its a general comfort that becomes specific as life events unfold.

BBQs

I love BBQ’s. With more people and guests there are more excuses to have one. There’s also more oppurtunity to combine events like birthdays and anniversaries.

Cadence of the Day

Our days unfold with a cadence that marks time and gives things to look forward to. I know for sure this doesn’t happen when you’re single.

The Future

Fabio and Martha have considered selling their home in Orlando and probably would if the market allows.

If we have a second child the guest room goes to the baby. Even with the garage office I built to free up an official guest room we’ll be left with no spare rooms.

A prolonged recession in the US is now guaranteed. That makes our living situation even more beneficial. Perhaps these articles will be helpful to more Americans as they contemplate throwing in, together.

Copyright © 2009 by Terence Gillespie. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit and a live link are given to McGillespie.com

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Clint with In-laws
Children

Why I Live With My In-Laws!

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I can’t claim credit for the idea that my father and mother-in-law move in with us. Or that we move my mom from her nursing home into my office. . . .

. . . .Because that would be five people and two dogs in the same house with a baby on the way!

Oh, no. It was my optimal Wife that came up with this masterpiece. She saw the mounting nursing home bills, knew a baby was coming and swung into action. By the time she was finished laying it all out, one night after work, she had a way to upgrade all of our lives. And that upgrade goes double for her. But, what can I say? It was her idea.

Her radical plan was to have us all living together. We would divide up tasks according to our abilities, split costs where we could, spend time together, help her parents ramp down from a lifetime of work and bridge the 3000 mile distance between our baby and its grandparents.

She was proposing we live like a family. A multi-generational family.

It was outrageous!

The American Way?

Why wasn’t this anti-radical vision my idea?

Because I grew up in Florida in the late 70’s/early 80’s. A period in American history when we were doing all we could to make ourselves into personal sovereign nations.

Families were relocate-able units set up to follow the money wherever it lead. Women’s lib ‘freed up’ mom to go to work. Dads were encouraged to do whatever to ‘find themselves’. And the kids watched Miami Vice and thought the drug dealers were way better off than Crockett and Tubbs. The only question was how we were gonna get one of those Ferrari’s and live in a mansion in Miami without getting arrested?

Family. Aren’t those the people you live with until you get a job? Everyone knows the goal is to decrease the number of generations in one house from two to one!

Not so fast.

What was left over from mom’s check after taxes barely paid for babysitting and Friday night pizza. Dad got sick of microwaved hot dogs and found out how much better life was with mom around. Mom didn’t like office politics. And my brother and I were hard pressed to improve on my father’s job, which he loved. We were living pretty well and dad
still managed to retire at 52.

Panic

But, what’s happening here? Isabel and I have only been married for 16 months and we’ll never be alone in the house together again for at least 18 years or more! How could we stand that? Doesn’t everybody feel on top of each other? Who pays for all the food, mortgage, utilities, cable and what about all the potential noise and distractions all the time of everyone in the kitchen?

The Decision

Most of what makes life good or bad is set by five decisions or less.

Make them well and you eliminate 95% of the life’s friction. Make them badly and you’re plagued with problems that aren’t even solvable. This was one of those decisions.

For all my talk about optimizing everything and making balanced decisions from every vantage point my wife just fell asleep with a problem and woke up with the solution. But, Making the final decision gave me a headache for the next three weeks.

If I list everything that concerned me over living as a multi-generational household it would be the length of the phone book. Everything is affected by a decision like this.

Take the big things like space, time, money, personalities, family, daily activities, food, alone time and noise. Then imagine how each one affects the others on the list. Then factor in that we’ve only been married for 16-months. Add in that we would be taking on the full-time care of my mom who had two strokes, last year. And don’t think too much about that baby on the way or you might go a little nuts.

“Don’t make such a big deal about it.”, Isabel said.

First of all, you can’t get all the facts to make a decision like this. The permutations are not computable because you don’t have solid data for input. Its all anecdotal evidence from people you don’t know. How do I know these people share my values and preferences?

In the end, I used three tools to help make the decision: A mind map, a stop-loss provision and a leap of faith.

On the mind map I listed out every concern that came to mind. I drew lines connecting every box that affected the others (There were a lot of lines). I googled as much as I could to get other peoples’ experience. I tried to come up with a creative solution to anything that still caused concern. Then I slept on it, woke up, and did the same thing again. For Three weeks.

After all that I was ready to consult my newly informed intuition.

The result? Few problems that couldn’t be worked out. Everything depended on the personalities and character of the people involved. And these were unknowns in the circumstances under consideration because none of us had had lived this way before.

Several times in our brief marriage I asked my wife to have faith in something I felt strongly about and she went along. Things turned out as predicted and I’d like to think she’s more comfortable with my judgment. Now the shoe was on the other foot and she was asking me to have faith in her instincts. You might say, I owed her one.

You might also say there’s no way to eliminate the “Leap of Faith” aspect to a decision like this. But, her certainty did make the leap easier.

OK, so it might work. But, what if we’re wrong? Is there any way out?

To feel more comfortable in taking the first steps we put a few stop-loss provisions in place:

  1. Fabio and Martha rented their house in Florida rather than sell it.
  2. I made a two-year commitment to see if it would work.
  3. I designed an addition to the house in case we didn’t have enough space.

With the mind map to mentally sort through the details, the leap of faith I owed Isabel and the above stop-loss provisions there were no excuses left to postpone the decision.

I was satisfied the downside to giving it a try had been minimized.

Moving In

Martha

Martha came first. She put in her notice to St. John’s, put on a baby shower for us and said her goodbyes to all her friends in Orlando. She was getting out of retail at the perfect time. She had been on her feet for 20 years and it was time to take a break and be with her daughter and grandchild-to-be.

In the weeks leading up to her arrival the boxes trickled in at the front door and were hauled up to the jungle, our safari theme guest room, one-by-one. If there was a time of nervousness for me it was watching the boxes arrive and wondering what we were getting ourselves into.

Martha is only 11 years older than me and only 3 years older than my friend, David, so there is no generation gap to speak of. When she arrived it was more like greeting a friend than a mother-in-law. It felt like a friend was spending a few weeks with us.

Mom

We had to get training to learn how to take care of my mom. They taught us how to transfer her from the bed to the chair, from the chair to the shower, how to prepare food and ways to help her do exercises. There was also a strict drug regimen that took some getting used to. Support equipment trickled in from the UPS guy. Stuff like wheelchairs, a shower chair, transfer poles and oxygen bottles were arriving every other day.

Then it was time to move my mom into the house. The actual move was the last step in a long project, beyond the scope of this article. It was quite a balancing act to prepare for her full-time care because she’s confined to a wheelchair and needs quite a range of care and attention. Martha took the sting out of all if this and everything went smoothly mostly because of her.

Mom was thrilled in a hundred different ways to be living at home.

After about two months of adjustments and many sessions with physical and occupational therapists we started to get the hang of the work involved. There were lots of medicare forms to sign and equipment to set up. Isabel set up all moms prescriptions to be automatically filled every quarter by just logging on and checking what we were running out of.

Fabio

My mom and Martha were here for about two months before Fabio came. By that time we had most things worked out and running smoothly.

Fabio gave a 45-day notice to the law firm he was working for. Along notice because he was working for his nephew Rodrigo and there was a lot of planning needed for a smooth transition.

When he arrived the house felt more balanced. I didn’t realize the balance had shifted so much to the feminine until he swayed it back to neutral.

Fabio’s first adjustment was what to do when the phone doesn’t ring. Back in Orlando he was getting ten calls an hour on the job. Now there was only the sound of the breeze on the patio, the geese flying overhead and the TV if he turned it on.

It wasn’t long before Fabio’s talents as a chef were put into swing when six cousins came to visit for a week. That brought the total in the house up to eleven for the week!

How’s It Workin’ Out?

After four months it’s working out better than my wife expected with advantages I didn’t expect.

Space

We dodged the bullet on space issues by having a larger house from the start.

We saw 76 houses before choosing this one. Our goal was to avoid having to move again before our kids went to college. The most obvious weakness would have been lack of space and 3049 square feet has been enough. More importantly, the layout is efficient, functional areas are separated and it handles people well. Hallelujah!

Bedrooms

Four of the five bedrooms are taken. The last one is ready for the baby coming next week. Since all kids get their own bedrooms, nowadays, we won’t have space issues until a second child comes along.

Alone Time

Alone time is more than having your own room. We have four options that can be used by anyone in the house:

  1. The living room is off by itself.
  2. The patio.
  3. The outside front of the house on the “Silla de Navidad” or Christmas Chair.
  4. On the golf course trails.

These areas don’t have doors. However, it’s not easy to find you unless you know where to look.

Guests

When guests come the blow-up beds from Costco come out and go into my office or one of the common areas. My office is perfect for that and the common areas feel like you have your own room.

I think its a waste of house to have rooms set aside only for guests. Many people think guest only rooms are mandatory. I think the mandatory rooms are for people who live in the house. I have no problem giving up my bedroom for a guest and can easily blow-up a bed and sleep in my office for a few days.

Noise

Noise has not been a problem other than my reluctance to sing loudly and write songs when people are around. As a musician I’m sensitive to noise. If its not a problem for me then it probably won’t be a problem for someone else.

Sometimes its hard to watch TV in the family room as people accumulate in the kitchen. But, we have one of those large family rooms connected to a large kitchen. What else would you expect with a room design like that?

If anyone really wants to watch something they go to their own rooms where there’s no interruptions. I’d rather have the family room/kitchen combination because its where everyone hangs out.

Expenses

Household expenses are about 10% higher in the form of electricity, cable, water and gas. We split food, so, food remains the same. You could look at the cost increase in three different ways:

  1. It’s 10% more expensive.
  2. That the incremental cost per person added is low.
  3. That with a 10% increase overall expenses will still be much lower because more people are splitting all costs.

#1 and #2 are self-explanatory.

If you computed #3 by dividing all costs by five it would be a lot of money saved. But, we don’t do that for the same reason most people probably won’t: Money is only one way to keep track of contribution to a household

In our case Fabio and Martha make it more feasible to take on the full-time care of my mom. If mom is living here we save on paying a nursing home. Saving that expense frees up money to pay other expenses and improves the quality of all our lives, my mom’s most of all.

Fabio and Martha rent their house in Florida which pays for their house expenses. They have no house expenses here so can more easily cover bills like health insurance, gas, cell phone., etc.

Our costs have risen by 10% but we had to pay 90% of those costs, anyway. The more economies of scale and division of labor benefits (See below) that occur the more the additional 10% returns.

I think of it like the difference between buying one meal at a restaurant and eating at a buffet. You pay a little more for the buffet, but, the variety and quality of your meal is improved.

Economies of Scale

We can prepare a meal for five people as easily as two. And by scaling the same ingredients to a recipe the leftovers can last for several meals.

The Same goes for grocery shopping. One trip to the grocery store is taken to shop for five people instead of two. The gas, time and effort is the same while the people it serves is more than double. And we can buy the large cans at Costco making the food cheaper by the once. When the cans are opened they’re less likely to spoil and that means less waste.

Isabel and I each have an SUV. Fabio and Martha have a sedan. Since Isabel is the only person who commutes to work she switched to the sedan and her commuting costs were cut in half. Fabio and Martha can use the SUV around town which requires less mileage and gas on the larger car.

Some things are better, but not cheaper. A bachelor has little incentive to cook for himself, but a family almost always does. That leads to more cooked meals which are more nutritional than foraging out of the pantry.

Division of Labor

There are four people instead of two to manage chores or maintenance around the house. We also get the advantages of four people’s strengths instead of two. A task we have equal ability to perform can be rotated. The result is that the house runs smoother with less effort from any one person.

There’s also less stress. We have natural backup for the everyday overhead of living. Anything from a 2-hour trip to the grocery store to answering the door for the UPS guy.

This may seem trivial but it adds up. For me, its led to more work time and less distractions to write articles such as the one you’re reading.

To get an idea how the time and effort saved adds up look at the following list and add up the time you would save if you only had to perform the task every third time it was needed:

  • Grocery Shopping
  • Running Errands
  • Mailing Packages
  • Answering the Door
  • Washing Dishes
  • Screening Telemarketing Calls
  • Washing Clothes
  • Walking the Dog
  • Moving furniture
  • Taking Out the Trash
  • Preparing meals

Time with Family

We’re knocking it out of the park when it comes to time spent with family. Here’s what I observed around the house in the last month:

  • Singing Nat King Cole songs in Spanish on the patio while barbecuing lunch on the grill.
  • My mom on the patio with Lucy on her lap and laughing at the lyrics to a Jimmy Buffet song.
  • Isabel coming home to her favorite Colombian dish instead of having to make dinner when she’s tired.
  • Isabel and Martha on the couch looking at Facebook photos of a long lost friend.
  • Talking with Fabio and Martha on the Silla de Navidad about the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac beginning of the next Great Depression.
  • Ricky following around grandpop whining and begging for a walk.
  • Martha telling stories of what Isabel was like as a child.
  • Visiting vineyards on Sundays after church to pick out a place to have the baby baptized.
  • Isabel and Martha and Maju (Fabio’s sister) decorating the baby’s room, together.

I’ve noticed the house is now the Family nerve center for extended family not living here, as well. Keeping up social contact with them is easier.

None of these things would’ve occurred if we weren’t under the same roof for longer than Christmas visits. And the whole situation will be what our children think of as normal. They will assume its just the way family’s live.

Your Optimal Family Living?

So far, yes.

However, I cannot make a whole-hearted recommendation of MG family living to everyone reading this. There are too many prerequisites, many of which are not in your control. I do recommend being open to considering it in light of the prerequisites, listed below.

Money and Family

It is possible to save money living like this. But, a more realistic goal is to improve your quality of life. Most of the benefits are intangible. Like the best things in life they can be counted on your fingers but maybe not in your bank account.

If you’re on the verge of financial disaster this isn’t going to save you. You probably won’t have the temperament or patience to make it work. One of the ways you could ruin it is to walk around with a calculator and tally up every nickel and dime insisting that everyone pay their fair share. Unless your calculator has has a “Quality of Life” button the numbers won’t prove the case, either way.

House Layout is Critical

Layout is more important than size. I’ve seen 2000 sq. ft. houses that would work and 5000 sq. ft. houses that wouldn’t. Here’s a shopping list of features that would make MG family living easier:

  • One bedroom per person or couple
  • One full bathroom per four people
  • Bathrooms accessible without intruding on privacy
  • Bedrooms separate from dining room for noise
  • Bedrooms separate from family room for noise
  • Kitchen and pantry large enough to handle everyone
  • House should have places for alone time, besides bedrooms

Including the baby we’ll average 508/sq. ft per person. I don’t know if that’s a magic number because layout is more important that space. Just adding it here for reference.

Good for Everyone

This whole multi-generational family living is voluntary, for everyone. You’d be fooling yourselves to think it was sustainable if there wasn’t something in it for everyone. The more, the better.

Even if your situation does benefit everyone, personalities may not mix. Ours do, so it works. But, any personality friction will only be worse if there isn’t something in it for everyone.

An Extension of Existing Compatibility

My wife and I have similar families, values and goals. And, we were raised in the same part of the country by parents with similar values. During these four months it feels as if our existing compatibility was extended to include our family. Is it really such a stretch that the family she came from is compatible with the family I came from?

Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D. says, “…when two people come from similar backgrounds, they operate from a position of strength. Their relationship is made significantly easier by all the customs and practices they have in common.”

And here’s what he says about the opposite:

“Forging a relationship with an opposite is so hard because every difference you have requires negotiation and adaptation. Accommodation and compromise will necessitate plenty of change. This change creates a kind of stress. If there are too many differences, you may not be able to survive all the strain involved in adapting to each other.”

Starting with you and your wife, a house full of opposites is more likely to zap everyone’s strengths just to cope with all the differences. Families with similar backgrounds, however, can focus on contributing individual strengths for the benefit of all.

The Future

We have many upcoming challenges:

  • How do things change when the baby comes?
  • A second child?
  • What Happens When My Mom Passes Away?
  • Estate Planning?
  • Building the Addition to the house?

And what challenges will time reveal that we don’t know about yet?

I plan to update this article, every year, for other families thinking of moving in together. I could have used an article like this five-months ago.

I don’t have an all-time final verdict. But, I do have the verdict on the last four months. I will whisper the three magic words my wife most longs to hear: “You were right”.

Copyright © 2008 by Terence Gillespie. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit and a live link are given to McGillespie.com

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