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Children

Why is My Baby Crying?

By Terence Gillespie October 18, 2009

I was Mr. Mom the last two weeks for our 11 month old. His grandparents, who usually take care of him during the day, went on vacation. My wife works away from home. I work, too. . . from home. That put me in charge of the day care.

By our third day, together, I was able to figure out what he wanted when he whined or cried. By the fourth day his whimpering stopped because he had what he needed before having to cry about it. Taking care of him was a lot easier than I expected. Sure, he needs lots of attention, but, it was nothing like the awful stories I’ve been hearing all my life. I began to think about why babies have a reputation for being so difficult. And, what’s making it easier for us?

I’m no more a baby expert than any parent. What I’m listing, here, are seven reasons why I think we’re having an easier time with our baby than the stories you’ll hear ‘out there‘. Six of them the parents can control. The last one is luck of the draw:

Schedule
Routines
Company
No Vaccines
Balanced Meals
Vitamins
Disposition

(Note: This article was written in 2009. We’ve since had our second baby who was only a dream when writing this article. One thing that stands out, now, is the implication that a baby crying is, somehow, a disaster–or proof positive of a problem– that must be “solved”. Of course, it could be just that as crying is one of the few ways a baby can communicate . . . anything. What I left out, in my new-father haste to “solve the problem”, was the sheer joy of a baby crying when you “just know” there’s nothing seriously wrong. That’s why I chose the picture for the article of both a man and baby crying with mom laughing: It’s a more accurate portrayal of the wonder and beauty of this time in a family’s life. I don’t want to live in a world where baby’s don’t cry nor do I mean to contribute to such a world through any words that I may write. What I do want to share with potential new parents is how much easier, and lovely, it is to care for a crying baby than what you may have been told. That’s something I never knew, in large part, because the parents I might have learned from didn’t say. If silence is the worst mistake then I pray the Lord keep me from making it and keep it short and sweet it the process.)

Schedule

Timothy’s on a loose schedule for the entire day. It’s specific in content and sequence. It’s flexible in start time with naps and bottles dropping off depending on his mood and other activities:

Wake up and Bottle – Whey protein (No cows milk) With Vitamins and Fatty Acids.
Play or sleep until . . .
Breakfeast – oatmeal with a scoop of stomach flora
Bath and Change Clothes
Ride in Toy Car around the block
Play, Bottle then Nap
Lunch
Play, Bottle then Nap
Dinner
Play
Bottle (with cereal) then off to bed.

This is easier than it looks. The start times shift up to an hour though always in the same sequence. There’s many benefits for him (And for me, these last two weeks) in being on a schedule like this:

Predictability – The baby knows what to expect and so do we. Neither of us is surprised by bath time or when its time to take a knap. The baby begins to expect to receive all the things he needs at a certain time. It becomes easy to figure out what he may be missing if he does start to whine or cry. In other words, it makes the process of elimination for why he’s crying very simple.
Planning – All of us know what is happening and when, including the baby. We can plan the times for phone calls, shopping for items needed, visits from friends, working out at the gym or whatever else is going on in our non-baby life.
Comforting – It seems to me the schedule removes a certain anxiety from the baby’s mood. His emotions and metabolism ebb and flow as the schedule unfolds. He knows that everything he needs is going to be given to him when its time to be given. And it was comforting for me to know that I was doing everything necessary for him and not leaving anything out.
Ease of Transition to Backup Caretaker – This is an awesome benefit! It made it very easy for me to step in as primary caretaker. Timothy’s schedule didn’t change at all when grandmom and grandpop went on vacation. I was clumsy, at first, but knew what and when to do everything and was certain nothing was being left out because of the schedule they gave me. When he cried in the first three days it was because I was not getting him to the next item on his schedule in time or he wanted a bottle instead of a nap, or, vice versa.

Routines

Everything on and off his schedule unfolds in a predictable way:

When he’s watching a cartoon he’s sitting in his chair and hears the sound of us in the kitchen making his lunch.
He knows its time to take a nap when we’re lying next to him after his morning bottle.
He knows he’s going for a car ride when the dog starts barking and we get his toy car ready.

This is real SuperNanny stuff, I know. But, we’re planning on having a second child and I think schedules and routines are going to be key in managing our lives. I also think they’re going to be key in having less babies crying for seemingly no reason. And if they cry, we’ll have good clues as to why.

Company

Not having company makes Timothy cry.

Other than when he’s sleeping he wants company at all times. This will probably change in a few years as he starts reading or playing with more educational toys. But, for now, he wants someone with him at all times. You don’t have to be looking at him or directly interacting with him. You just have to be there with him in the same room.

BTW, Isabel gets a special mention in this category: We get a little crying when switching company from mom to dad and just laughing when switching back to mom. Do we have a mama’s boy issue, here? Mmmmmmmm. Not sure. It only lasts about 45 seconds. We’ll see.

No Vaccines

I think we have a much easier time with Timothy because he wasn’t vaccinated. When he cries its for one of six reasons (See Conclusion, below). He’s not in a constant state of recovery from the three dozen antigens he would have gotten by now. That’s 36 less things to cry about.

For a thorough explanation of why we chose not to vaccinate see my article, Vaccines For My Baby. It was not an easy choice, our first pediatrician ‘fired’ us and it’s been the subject of many discussions. But, I do think it was the right choice and part of that is evident in Timothy’s lack of crying for ‘mysterious’ reasons.

I may be wrong, but, I suspect the reason babies have a reputation for endless and inexplicable crying is because of the dramatic rise in vaccines given to them since 1982. If you’ve got the other six items in this article under control then vaccines may be the crying culprit.

What a tragedy it would be if less people have babies because vaccines make them cry too much. New parents tell would-be parents their nightmarish stories and the endless patience needed to withstand constant crying. The would-be parents don’t have superhuman patience so opt out of having children, at all.

All I’ll say here is that vaccines are not needed to achieve immunization to the diseases for which they’re given. In most cases the fine print actually says that immunization is not guaranteed by the vaccine. The only thing that can guarantee protection from the world’s millions of diseases is the babies’ immune system — the very thing vaccines tend to destroy, not boost.

Balanced Meals

I get grumpy and grouchy when I eat the wrong foods. If I was a baby that would probably take the form of crying. I think its reasonable to say that a baby cries less on a balanced diet. Or, to put it another way: An unbalanced diet is unlikely to lead to less crying.

Blood sugar regulation is key to mood leveling. We’ve taken pains to remove high-glycemic food from our son’s diet. His diet is about 30-40-30 protien-carbs-fats with the carbs being all vegetables and fruits. His bottle is the closest to breast milk in content we could find with no cow’s milk (Whey protein, instead).

From what we’ve seen this seems to be a very balanced diet for him. It levels his blood sugar, keeps him satisfied until the next mealtime and his energy spikes are smooth and natural with no crashing in between.

Vitamins

What’s the opposite of a vaccine? Nutrition that assists rather than destroys your immune system. Vitamins, minerals and fatty acids are all added to Timothy’s morning bottle.

We give him extra vitamin D because babies get much less sun than toddlers. We also give him a baby appropriate liquid multi-vitamin, fatty acids and add a small scoop of beneficial bacteria for his stomach to his morning cereal.

All of this was recommended by our son’s doctor who is a naturopath. The stomach flora is recommended for babies who were breastfed for less than 6 months. The added vitamins are to supplement a babies diet since newborns are not eating a wide variety of food, yet. Bacteria in the stomach enables easier digestion: One less thing to cry about.

Disposition

This one’s luck of the draw.

Most of the parents I’ve talk with say their baby had a definite disposition from the moment they were born. That’s been true for us, as well.

I hear the term ‘colicky’ to describe a baby that cries all the time. Colic is a term for anything that causes abdominal pain in horses (And now babies, too). I’m not sure if this is 100% disposition. It could be one of the other 6 items in this article because the term ‘colicky’ is so broadly used.

I’ll know more about this after we have baby #2. For now I would just say that we did not draw the short straw on this one (Thank God).

Conclusion

Our baby cries for six reasons:

Hungry
Tired
Dirty – Needs diaper change
Company
Pain – Bumps himself while playing
Toy – Got pushed under the furniture or he wants one.

It’s worth saying that these are the only reasons he cries. I wish somebody gave me this list when I was deciding on having children. It’s a much shorter list than I was led to believe by rumours, magazine articles and stories floating around ‘out there’.

Addressing the six things that make our baby cry doesn’t require superhuman patience. It requires a simple rem edy to a short list of causes.

We didn’t draw the short straw on disposition, this time. If Baby #2 is ‘colicky’ at least we’ll have strategies in our control to minimize babys’ (And parents’) crying.

I’m grateful to my wife, mother and father-in-law for putting so many things in place that serve Timothy’s needs before he has to cry about them. He has a schedule, routines, company, is not vaccinated, has balanced meals, gets good nutrition and there is no mysterious or endless crying. None of these things are a big deal, alone. It is a very big deal, however, when they come together and make for a happy baby and a peaceful house.

Children

Living With My In-Laws (One Year Later)

By Terence Gillespie September 28, 2009

It’s been 13 months since we moved my mother in to live with us. She was in a nursing home and it was time to get her out of there. Just prior, my mother and father-in-law moved in to live with us, as well. Five months later Timothy, our first child, was born.

That’s five adults, one baby and two dogs spread accross 4 generations; all living under one roof.

Our house was large enough, we had a baby on the way, needed help taking care of my mother and my in-laws were looking for a way to decrease their expenses and take life a little easier. For more background on the decision and the story of moving in together see Why I Live With My In-Laws.

This is an update to that article.

How’s It Going? – Bottom Line

Extremely well, with unexpected benefits and problems and ways to handle each.

Unexpected Benefits

Part of the ‘unexpected’ benefits are how much I didn’t expect to appreciate the benefits listed in my previous article as much as I do. Division of labor, economies of scale, precious time with family, help with mom. It’s one thing to think about these things and its quite another to experience them in your everyday life.

Grandparents for Timothy

This was just an idea last year when everyone moved in. Now, its real. The reality of having Timothy, Martha, Fabio and my mom together in the same house is truly priceless. There’s only three people on the planet that love Timothy as much as Isabel and I do. Having them all under one roof is a daily unfolding wonder and blessing. Even now I may not fully appreciate all the aspects and advantages to Timothy, and all of us.

And the babysitting? Are you kidding me? Who ya gonna call? Isabel and I haven’t had to contemplate the tradeoffs, risks and worries of leaving Timothy with a stranger as we run errands or just want to spend some alone time, together.

This is way beyond money.

Productivity at Home

I work at home. With an 8 month old baby it’s a miracle I can be so productive out of a home office. Sure, we could drop Timothy off at day care. He spends all day with his grandparents and me in what has to be the ideal environment. Even if we incurred the cost, risk and effort to leave Timothy at day care it would be a downgrade in the quality of his life and ours.

Daughter and Father

Isabel and Fabio have a similar temperament: They’re both quick to react and quick to wind down. At first, we all thought they’d be arguing with each other since they’re so similar. Nope. Turns out they’re so in tune with each other that things get resolved almost before they happen.

Daughter and Mother

Isabel and Martha don’t have the same tempermant. But, they are both very feminine and give ideas to each other in a non-competitive way. They may not admit this but I think they motivate each other to do more.

In other words, they both do more than they would without each other.

Mother-in-Law and Son-in-Law (Me)

Martha and I both tend to “Work behind the scenes” to accomplish our goals. Now we conspire with each other for the same purpose.

Nerve Center for Family

With five (Instead of two) adults in the same house its easier to keep in touch with extended family members and friends. That’s more connection for less effort. Since these are people we love and care about that is a very good thing.

All of us enjoy having guests. We have more guests because there are more people to visit. And, we enjoy them more because we’re all pitching in to entertain.

As a single man until the age of 44 I traveled for Christmas 20 years in a row. Now, I’m thrilled to have most of the family here and pass the travel burden onto the remaining single members of the family or those looking to take a break in wine country.

Circular Benefits

Everything that benefits one of us loops back around to benefit all of us. Here are some examples of how this plays out:

My productivity at home leads to peace of mind and more abundance brought into our house. That peace of mind is felt by Timothy and sets an example for him that its possible to live a great life and not be stressed out all the time. More abundance leads to the ability to sustain our lifestyle.
Isabel is freed up from most of the conventional tasks on a new mother’s list. The way I put it is, by the time her alarm clock rings in the morning, she has accomplished more than most new mothers can in two days.
We purchased reclining couches for the living room to make it more comfortable to watch TV. That lead to ‘movie night’ Fridays. Movie night is a great excuse for everyone to spend time together. It also saves on the $150 it would cost for all four of us to go to the movie theatre after coke, popcorn, babysitting and who knows what else.

Unexpected Problems

And what about me and my new in-laws? Most people have trouble even with roomates. How about living with two new roomates you’re just getting to know? There had to be problems and arguments and blow-ups, don’t you think?

Not really. Sure, we’ve had our misunderstandings while getting to know each other, but, nothing more. Once you translate the culture and language our underlying goals are so united there’s nothing to argue about.

The real surprise was watching Fabio and Martha go through the adjustment of living with each other while spending the whole day together. They’d raised two kids and been married for 30 years, but, had never spent as much daily time together as when they moved in with us.

Trash

We do more shopping online, nowadays. Things that would normally come together in a bag get delivered separately in a box. That brings more boxes into the house. With baby showers, birthdays, more guests, medical supplies and holidays we have a lot of trash!

I’m bad about remembering trash day. That’s a disaster with six people in the house. One false move and we’ll never catch up without a trip to the dump.

Fabio has taken to overseeing our trash situation. Believe me, when I wake up on Friday morning and don’t have to panic at the sound of the garbage trucks I’m very grateful.

Space & House Layout

More people means more guests. Guests need a place to stay. Our only ‘spare’ room was my office. So, whenever we had guests I had to give up my office. Sure, I could use the computer during the day, but, at least half of my productivity happens at night after everyone is asleep.

Guests were’nt the only reason for a new home office. The only room that could hold my filing cabinets, computer, books, reference materials and have room for a meeting with another person was my first office. That was also the only downstairs room available for my mom. As it turned out, using the last remaining bedroom upstairs didn’t work for several reasons:

When guests came I lost night-time use of the office. For me that was about half of my productivity.

The room was not really all mine. Isabel kept her office books, cabinets, lights and reference materials in the room. The closet was half full of her stuff and the other half was an overflow closet used by Martha.

My office was half upstairs and half downstairs. I had to go up and down the stairs three times just to stage the items needed to work on a project. Any doorbell ring or need for additional materials would send me upstairs and downstairs, yet again.

And so . . .

The Man Cave is Born

What this all lead to was the need to create another room in the house. The optimal room would be:

Downstairs.
Big enough for all the ‘tools’ for my work.
Not infringe on another mandatory use of space.
Accessible, but not too accessible to the daily activities of the house.

And so, my friend David and carved out 1/3 of our 3-car garage and made it into an office. It took 2.5 months of back-breaking work. Frankly, it was a study in the drawbacks and benefits of working on only one goal and ignoring all others. One day I’ll write an article on whether or not that’s the optimal approach.

Although I had designed an addition to the house that would have been perfect it was just too expensive to build considering all the other purchases I was making to make sure we’d make it through this terrible downturn in the economy.

Person by Person

In my first article I said there had to be something in it for everyone for the whole multi-generational living to work. Now that we’ve been together 13 months let’s go person by person and look at how its been for each one of us.

Mom

The joy on my mom’s face when she see’s Timothy (Every day) says it all.

On her second trip to the doctor, four months after moving in, he couldn’t believe how much she had improved. And that was before Timothy was born. We have lunch every day together and sometimes even a party on the patio. Timothy looks over and screams when mom waves at him and that’s a great ‘conversation’ to watch.

My mom’s health is not well and she doesn’t always cooperate with Martha when its time to do her exercises. However, I have my doubts that she’d be with us, at all, if it weren’t for the comfort and care she receieves by living with us.

Martha

Martha is obviously happy and also a bit restless. She’s taken on another child to take care of during the day for extra income and earns every penny of it.

Fabio

Fabio loves being at home. Later, he’ll probably need to get out more. But, for now there’s plenty going on in the house to entertain.

Timothy

Timothy gets parents who are smiling and not stressed out. He has the priceless attention and love of his grandparents. He feels the support of living in a home where everyone is looking out for each other and gets far more interaction than would be possible in daycare.

He’s learning Spanish as his first language and will pick up english like a sponge when it’s time. He might even be ready to learn a third by the time most students are deciding on a second.

Isabel

Before Isabel’s alarm clock goes off in the morning she’s gotten more ‘done’ than most mothers could in three days. That’s because most of what needs to be done around the house is split between myself, Fabio, Martha or other Martha (Who comes to clean house three times a month).

“People like doing things for me.”, she says. As a smart husband I won’t touch that statement.

Me

When I was single just thinking about living like this would have been like thinking about walking on the moon. Even now its an unfolding mystery. I’m suprised to find very little on the internet written about the subject coming from Americans. For economic reasons I predict that’s going to change.

Ironically, being willing to give up the freedom I had when I was single has been the very means of becoming more free than I’ve ever felt in my life.

I’m surprised the whole arrangement goes as well as it does.

What Happens Around Here

Here’s some things that happen around here:

Almuerzo – Spanish for “Lunch”. Everyday at 12pm prepared by Fabio. You know its happening when the intercom rings.
Movie Night – We bought special couches that recline so up to 6 people can recline in comfort. I figure every movie saves us $150 though saving money wasn’t the motivation.
Boys Day / Girls Day – With lots of people around this need becomes obvious. The girls want to do their thing without prying eyes. The boys want to do their thing without hearing comments.

Everybody’s Got Their Secret Stash

Martha has her sweets, mom’s got her cookies, Fabio has his whisky and I have my figs and wine. Isabel doesn’t have to keep a stash because Fabio keeps it for her for. Or maybe she’s just better at keeping secrets than we are.

What Our Friends Said?

Last month our friends and family told us they gave us two months, tops.

Can you blame them? What odds do you give someone bungy jumping from a helicopter?

And this article is not a, “See?, We TOLD you it would work!” I can’t do that because the lifestyle is an unfolding mystery. I can tell you the benefits and drawbacks in retrospect, but, the future is not predictable.

One of my favorite comments was, “If we predict failure we only have to be right once. For you to pronounce success you have to be right 24 hours a day, forever”. That’s only true if we took some kind of club oath. I’d say being happy for a solid year counts for a good measure of success.

Hernan (Fabio’s brother) thanked Fabio, not me, for his hospitality for a 2 week stay at the house. It occured to me, that night, that it was a sign of the success of living together. It’s not really my house, anymore. Its “our” house.

The things I have are just things I’m using while I’m alive. They don’t seem like mine, really. They’re just things and tools and materials. Now the house has become just another tool to get a job done.

Coverage

One of my favorite benefits is coverage. Here’s some examples:

If I need to run an errand I have coverage for Timothy and mom’s care.
If Isabel needs to work late she has coverage for Timothy. Tasks she ‘meant’ to get done that night can be delegated to us and she’ll probably have dinner waiting for her when she gets home.
If Fabio wants to go to Colombia for a few weeks he can pack a few things and go. He can easily plug back into his routine upon return.
If Martha needs the afternoon to go the doctor there’s not much planning needed for Fabio and I to cover for her.

The real value of coverage is that it is general and flexible. As things come up for each of us we know others are there to cover for us. Its a general comfort that becomes specific as life events unfold.

BBQs

I love BBQ’s. With more people and guests there are more excuses to have one. There’s also more oppurtunity to combine events like birthdays and anniversaries.

Cadence of the Day

Our days unfold with a cadence that marks time and gives things to look forward to. I know for sure this doesn’t happen when you’re single.

The Future

Fabio and Martha have considered selling their home in Orlando and probably would if the market allows.

If we have a second child the guest room goes to the baby. Even with the garage office I built to free up an official guest room we’ll be left with no spare rooms.

A prolonged recession in the US is now guaranteed. That makes our living situation even more beneficial. Perhaps these articles will be helpful to more Americans as they contemplate throwing in, together.

Children

Swine Flu Insanity

By Terence Gillespie September 21, 2009

Most Medical Doctors won’t take it.
Nobody knows for sure what’s in it.
Insurance companies refuse to insure medical professionals who inject it.
The companies making it have insisted the government grant them total liability protection for any complications resulting from it.
One of the known ingredients in multidose vials is mercury.
It will not be ready in time to be tested in any scientific way.
The trials that have been conducted have not been performed with the same vaccine that will be given to the public.
The H1N1 strain for which it has been prepared has already mutated so that the ‘vaccine’ can not possibly help your immune system with the old original H1N1 strain which is now gone.

Last, but, not least: When a similar vaccination program was undertaken in 1976 it killed 250 people and left an enormous number of neurologically damaged and crippled while creating a brand new “Made in USA” autoimmune disease called Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS).

Ok, that’s my list, against, written as a concerned parent. Buckle up your seatbelts for 18 more from a truly thorough full-time health advocate, Bill Sardi. Then come back to put this insanity in perspective on what this artificial crisis is really about, if you’ve got the time.

Why would anyone take this shot?

Simple:

Few people have the time or desire to research these things.
Reading medical research documents is hardly the preferred way to relax after a hard days work.
The CDC says it will save us though offers zero evidence to back up their evasive recommendations.

So, in the end people just go with their doctors’ recommendation (Who is probably not going to take it, themselves).

To make matters far worse you have states like Massachusetts trying to pass a law that will fine people $1000 per day or 30 days in jail for not taking the shot. Given that the ingredients are not even known what exactly is this law even based on? We know congress doesn’t read the laws they pass, but, this takes it to a new level of incompetence.

Don’t Take My Word for It

In his latest Newsletter Russell L. Blaylock, M.D. says:

“Right now, the government is working hard to implement a draconian program to vaccinate the population by force. This is an absolutely insane idea. If they mandate that all Americans be vaccinated, I predict that we will see an unprecedented number of vaccine-related deaths (as many as 250 died during the 1976 vaccine fiasco) and an enormous number of neurologically damaged and crippled people. The vaccine tested for safety before the 1976 scare was not the one used — the actual vaccine given to the public was untested. We may be seeing the same thing again. I suspect that the dangerous MF-59 adjuvant (squalene) will not be in the vaccine used for the test, but will be in the one given to the public. MF-59 is an immune-boosting additive that has been associated with severe autoimmune diseases,such as Lupus and multiple sclerosis-like disorders. There is a potential for millions of people to be crippled by these vaccine-induced diseases. As for the flu itself, at the time of this writing it is considered to be a low virulent virus — meaning that it is no worse than any other flu in the recent past. Those who are dying are not dying from the virus itself, but from a cytokine storm. Their bodies’ reaction to the virus is what is actually killing them. It was recently reported that smokers were found to have an intense inflammatory reaction deep within their lungs when exposed to the flu virus. One wonders how many of those who died were smokers or had immune disorders, but the CDC is keeping silent.”

“The 1976 swine flu fiasco began when a single soldier died from the flu at Fort Dix. He was infected along with five other soldiers, but he decided to go on a forced march even though he was sick. A person can die from a common cold if forced to march — I know because I used to see these soldiers when I was in the service. The other soldiers were tested and found to have a common strain of flu. The CDC analyzed the blood of the soldier who died and announced he had the swine flu strain. The news triggered a panic. The public was not told that a sergeant gave the soldier mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, but did not contract the flu. I suspect that the CDC mistyped the virus. Here we go again!”

Spermicide, Cleaners, and Cosmetics along with Thimerosal and Squalene Found in Experimental H1N1 Vaccine

Our first glimpse into the actual ingredients is coming at this late date of 09/14/2009. Here’s an article written by a guy who volunteered for one of the rushed trials just to see what he could find out about the ingredients.

Dr. Sherri Tenpenny and Russell Blaylock say:

To download their two fliers that summarize the medical facts about flu vaccines and where the swine flu fits in to the picture. Print them out and show them to your loved ones to focus what can be a difficult conversation.

For more comprehensive information see Dr. Blaylocks web page. or Dr. Tenpenny’s vaccine information center.

Here’s an article comparing the Swine Flu Hoax to the 1918 pandemic during world war I.

Swine Flu: Natural Pandemic or Man-Made Pandemonium?

Lila Rajiva Puts It All Together for us explaining the real motivations behind this latest hoax and future medical crimes against humanity we’re likely to see in the future.

Get Daily Updates

You can get up to date tracking on the coming flu “pandemic”, here.

Business

Depression Proof Your Money

By Terence Gillespie September 26, 2008

The money printing bailouts have only just begun.

Yes, we’ve had some deflationary bankruptcies to help decrease the money supply, thank God. But, as you can see, even the most staunch conservatives are now begging the government to crank up the printing presses. As history predicts, they just can’t help themselves.

Most of the strongest advocates for the bailouts know what they’re doing. They know that pumping this much fiat money into the economy will lead to hyperinflation. But, whoever gets the money first can use it to purchase valuable assets while it still has some purchasing power left. By the time the money makes its way to you and me its purchasing power will be mostly gone.

But, there’s still time. . . (As of 9/25/2008) . . .

. . .To Depression-proof your hard earned money, savings and retirement plans from the upcoming hyperinflationary depression.

If you know what to do it doesn’t take long to:

Move Your Money From Here . . .

Bank Accounts
Savings Accounts
CD’s
Government Sponsored Bonds
Money Market Accounts
US Domestic Stocks
Financial Stocks of Any Kind, in Any Country
Treasury Bills
Municipal Bonds
Mutual Funds Made Up of Primarily US Domestic Equities
Bonds and/or Bond Funds of Any Kind
Under Your Bed
In Your Backyard

. . .To Here

Swiss Franc Bonds
Foreign Stocks that pay dividends
Agricultural Indexes
Gold
Silver
Real Estate (Low Prices and Hyperinflation can payoff your house!)

It might only take one hour to preserve a lifetime of savings!

Talking Heads

Judging from the reactions and interviews on TV many wealthy people were blind-sided by the financial crisis’ of the past week. After those talking heads get off the air you can bet they’re moving their money and assets around to protect themselves.

I like Ben Stein. He’s a smart, likeable and decent human being. He’s also more wealthy than the average Joe and is frequently seen on TV commenting on economic and investment issues. Unfortunately, Ben didn’t see this financial crisis coming.

When history is used to predict or avoid an outcome the correct past event has to be chosen as the model. The dollar is losing its status as the world’s reserve currency. Central banks around the world are covertly dumping dollars and purchasing gold and other real assets. And the US government is largely powerless to do anything about it. In fact, the stewards of our currency are printing up their own personal bailout packages just prior to their exit from the world stage.

This is not a normal recessionary business cycle we’re witnessing. The talking heads on TV telling you to “Stay the course” are giving you the correct advice for the wrong time. If they didn’t warn you of a financial crisis of this magnitude then why would you trust their advice now?

Return OF (Not ON) Your Investment

In times like this the perfect is the enemy of the good. If you haven’t already reallocated your investments then you don’t have time to be a perfectionist. Think in terms of preserving the purchasing power of your money and consider any increase a bonus. Look at the list of destinations, recommended above, and choose one you’re comfortable with.

Brokerage Accounts

Correctly choosing the particular holdings in your brokerage account is much more important than choosing the brokerage firm, itself. People who were using Bear Sterns or Lehman Brothers to hold their investments did not lose the holdings in their accounts. It was the stock of the brokerage firms, themselves, that plummeted, not the investments they held for you as custodian. I don’t use this firm myself, but, one company that is getting it right is Peter Schiff’s Europac.net. Check them out if you’re looking to make a switch.

Banks

Even with a bank you’ll probably get money less than $100k back if you want it. You may have to stand in line, be limited to partial withdraws and be inconvenienced, but money you have in the bank will most likely still be returned to you. But, the dollars may not have much purchasing power when you get them back. The FDIC does not have enough to insure all the deposits in banks that are about to fail. But, the government will just create more money for the FDIC to keep functioning when they run out.

If you want to be spared any inconvenience for your short term banking then choose one with a high star rating at www.bankrate.com.

Silver May Not Be an Option

In the Bailout Plan sent out two months ago I recommended silver as my personal favorite way to store and preserve value. There is very little physical silver left for purchase. I still recommend calling your local coin shops to check. However, you may end up having to purchase gold instead of silver. If so I recommend gold eagles, austrian philharmonics and any denomination of bullion bars from a well-known mint.

You could purchase shares of the silver ETF SLV, but, this is a far less attractive alternative to keeping the physical metal in your possession. See my article SLV is Not Silver for more on the pitfalls of investing in SLV.

For a broader perspective on precious metals read my article Silver and Gold Do Nothing or Why is Gold Money?

How Much Inflation and When?

10% and now. One, three, six months from now? Increasingly more. But, isn’t 14% and climbing enough?

Start making decisions now while your dollar still has enough purchasing power to purchase things that have lasting value.

Checking Account Alternatives

If you’re losing 14% a year in your checking account due to inflation then even simple things around the house start to be a better “Investment”. You should probably have at least three months of expenses in your checking account. After that, if you’ve already paid off your credit cards and reallocated your Retirement account then here are some alternatives for the money left in your checking account:

Food That Stores for Long Periods like cereal, canned goods, rice
Water, Water Filters or Storage
Computer Upgrades
Software
Prepaid Utilities like gas, electric, cable, cell phone
Prepaid Property taxes

Or anything else you’re going to have to purchase in the next year or two. Why not purchase them now while the purchasing power of your money is stronger and you still have a job?

Web Resources

This article is an update on the Your Optimal Bailout Plan I sent out at the end of July. See that article for more background.

www.europac.net

www.shadowstats.com

www.lewrockwell.com

www.allamericangold.com

www.silverstockreport.com

Children

Why I Live With My In-Laws!

By Terence Gillespie August 28, 2008

I can’t claim credit for the idea that my father and mother-in-law move in with us. Or that we move my mom from her nursing home into my office. . . .

. . . .Because that would be five people and two dogs in the same house with a baby on the way!

Oh, no. It was my optimal Wife that came up with this masterpiece. She saw the mounting nursing home bills, knew a baby was coming and swung into action. By the time she was finished laying it all out, one night after work, she had a way to upgrade all of our lives. And that upgrade goes double for her. But, what can I say? It was her idea.

Her radical plan was to have us all living together. We would divide up tasks according to our abilities, split costs where we could, spend time together, help her parents ramp down from a lifetime of work and bridge the 3000 mile distance between our baby and its grandparents.

She was proposing we live like a family. A multi-generational family.

It was outrageous!

The American Way?

Why wasn’t this anti-radical vision my idea?

Because I grew up in Florida in the late 70’s/early 80’s. A period in American history when we were doing all we could to make ourselves into personal sovereign nations.

Families were relocate-able units set up to follow the money wherever it lead. Women’s lib ‘freed up’ mom to go to work. Dads were encouraged to do whatever to ‘find themselves’. And the kids watched Miami Vice and thought the drug dealers were way better off than Crockett and Tubbs. The only question was how we were gonna get one of those Ferrari’s and live in a mansion in Miami without getting arrested?

Family. Aren’t those the people you live with until you get a job? Everyone knows the goal is to decrease the number of generations in one house from two to one!

Not so fast.

What was left over from mom’s check after taxes barely paid for babysitting and Friday night pizza. Dad got sick of microwaved hot dogs and found out how much better life was with mom around. Mom didn’t like office politics. And my brother and I were hard pressed to improve on my father’s job, which he loved. We were living pretty well and dad
still managed to retire at 52.

Panic

But, what’s happening here? Isabel and I have only been married for 16 months and we’ll never be alone in the house together again for at least 18 years or more! How could we stand that? Doesn’t everybody feel on top of each other? Who pays for all the food, mortgage, utilities, cable and what about all the potential noise and distractions all the time of everyone in the kitchen?

The Decision

Most of what makes life good or bad is set by five decisions or less.

Make them well and you eliminate 95% of the life’s friction. Make them badly and you’re plagued with problems that aren’t even solvable. This was one of those decisions.

For all my talk about optimizing everything and making balanced decisions from every vantage point my wife just fell asleep with a problem and woke up with the solution. But, Making the final decision gave me a headache for the next three weeks.

If I list everything that concerned me over living as a multi-generational household it would be the length of the phone book. Everything is affected by a decision like this.

Take the big things like space, time, money, personalities, family, daily activities, food, alone time and noise. Then imagine how each one affects the others on the list. Then factor in that we’ve only been married for 16-months. Add in that we would be taking on the full-time care of my mom who had two strokes, last year. And don’t think too much about that baby on the way or you might go a little nuts.

“Don’t make such a big deal about it.”, Isabel said.

First of all, you can’t get all the facts to make a decision like this. The permutations are not computable because you don’t have solid data for input. Its all anecdotal evidence from people you don’t know. How do I know these people share my values and preferences?

In the end, I used three tools to help make the decision: A mind map, a stop-loss provision and a leap of faith.

On the mind map I listed out every concern that came to mind. I drew lines connecting every box that affected the others (There were a lot of lines). I googled as much as I could to get other peoples’ experience. I tried to come up with a creative solution to anything that still caused concern. Then I slept on it, woke up, and did the same thing again. For Three weeks.

After all that I was ready to consult my newly informed intuition.

The result? Few problems that couldn’t be worked out. Everything depended on the personalities and character of the people involved. And these were unknowns in the circumstances under consideration because none of us had had lived this way before.

Several times in our brief marriage I asked my wife to have faith in something I felt strongly about and she went along. Things turned out as predicted and I’d like to think she’s more comfortable with my judgment. Now the shoe was on the other foot and she was asking me to have faith in her instincts. You might say, I owed her one.

You might also say there’s no way to eliminate the “Leap of Faith” aspect to a decision like this. But, her certainty did make the leap easier.

OK, so it might work. But, what if we’re wrong? Is there any way out?

To feel more comfortable in taking the first steps we put a few stop-loss provisions in place:

Fabio and Martha rented their house in Florida rather than sell it.
I made a two-year commitment to see if it would work.
I designed an addition to the house in case we didn’t have enough space.

With the mind map to mentally sort through the details, the leap of faith I owed Isabel and the above stop-loss provisions there were no excuses left to postpone the decision.

I was satisfied the downside to giving it a try had been minimized.

Moving In

Martha

Martha came first. She put in her notice to St. John’s, put on a baby shower for us and said her goodbyes to all her friends in Orlando. She was getting out of retail at the perfect time. She had been on her feet for 20 years and it was time to take a break and be with her daughter and grandchild-to-be.

In the weeks leading up to her arrival the boxes trickled in at the front door and were hauled up to the jungle, our safari theme guest room, one-by-one. If there was a time of nervousness for me it was watching the boxes arrive and wondering what we were getting ourselves into.

Martha is only 11 years older than me and only 3 years older than my friend, David, so there is no generation gap to speak of. When she arrived it was more like greeting a friend than a mother-in-law. It felt like a friend was spending a few weeks with us.

Mom

We had to get training to learn how to take care of my mom. They taught us how to transfer her from the bed to the chair, from the chair to the shower, how to prepare food and ways to help her do exercises. There was also a strict drug regimen that took some getting used to. Support equipment trickled in from the UPS guy. Stuff like wheelchairs, a shower chair, transfer poles and oxygen bottles were arriving every other day.

Then it was time to move my mom into the house. The actual move was the last step in a long project, beyond the scope of this article. It was quite a balancing act to prepare for her full-time care because she’s confined to a wheelchair and needs quite a range of care and attention. Martha took the sting out of all if this and everything went smoothly mostly because of her.

Mom was thrilled in a hundred different ways to be living at home.

After about two months of adjustments and many sessions with physical and occupational therapists we started to get the hang of the work involved. There were lots of medicare forms to sign and equipment to set up. Isabel set up all moms prescriptions to be automatically filled every quarter by just logging on and checking what we were running out of.

Fabio

My mom and Martha were here for about two months before Fabio came. By that time we had most things worked out and running smoothly.

Fabio gave a 45-day notice to the law firm he was working for. Along notice because he was working for his nephew Rodrigo and there was a lot of planning needed for a smooth transition.

When he arrived the house felt more balanced. I didn’t realize the balance had shifted so much to the feminine until he swayed it back to neutral.

Fabio’s first adjustment was what to do when the phone doesn’t ring. Back in Orlando he was getting ten calls an hour on the job. Now there was only the sound of the breeze on the patio, the geese flying overhead and the TV if he turned it on.

It wasn’t long before Fabio’s talents as a chef were put into swing when six cousins came to visit for a week. That brought the total in the house up to eleven for the week!

How’s It Workin’ Out?

After four months it’s working out better than my wife expected with advantages I didn’t expect.

Space

We dodged the bullet on space issues by having a larger house from the start.

We saw 76 houses before choosing this one. Our goal was to avoid having to move again before our kids went to college. The most obvious weakness would have been lack of space and 3049 square feet has been enough. More importantly, the layout is efficient, functional areas are separated and it handles people well. Hallelujah!

Bedrooms

Four of the five bedrooms are taken. The last one is ready for the baby coming next week. Since all kids get their own bedrooms, nowadays, we won’t have space issues until a second child comes along.

Alone Time

Alone time is more than having your own room. We have four options that can be used by anyone in the house:

The living room is off by itself.
The patio.
The outside front of the house on the “Silla de Navidad” or Christmas Chair.
On the golf course trails.

These areas don’t have doors. However, it’s not easy to find you unless you know where to look.

Guests

When guests come the blow-up beds from Costco come out and go into my office or one of the common areas. My office is perfect for that and the common areas feel like you have your own room.

I think its a waste of house to have rooms set aside only for guests. Many people think guest only rooms are mandatory. I think the mandatory rooms are for people who live in the house. I have no problem giving up my bedroom for a guest and can easily blow-up a bed and sleep in my office for a few days.

Noise

Noise has not been a problem other than my reluctance to sing loudly and write songs when people are around. As a musician I’m sensitive to noise. If its not a problem for me then it probably won’t be a problem for someone else.

Sometimes its hard to watch TV in the family room as people accumulate in the kitchen. But, we have one of those large family rooms connected to a large kitchen. What else would you expect with a room design like that?

If anyone really wants to watch something they go to their own rooms where there’s no interruptions. I’d rather have the family room/kitchen combination because its where everyone hangs out.

Expenses

Household expenses are about 10% higher in the form of electricity, cable, water and gas. We split food, so, food remains the same. You could look at the cost increase in three different ways:

It’s 10% more expensive.
That the incremental cost per person added is low.
That with a 10% increase overall expenses will still be much lower because more people are splitting all costs.

#1 and #2 are self-explanatory.

If you computed #3 by dividing all costs by five it would be a lot of money saved. But, we don’t do that for the same reason most people probably won’t: Money is only one way to keep track of contribution to a household

In our case Fabio and Martha make it more feasible to take on the full-time care of my mom. If mom is living here we save on paying a nursing home. Saving that expense frees up money to pay other expenses and improves the quality of all our lives, my mom’s most of all.

Fabio and Martha rent their house in Florida which pays for their house expenses. They have no house expenses here so can more easily cover bills like health insurance, gas, cell phone., etc.

Our costs have risen by 10% but we had to pay 90% of those costs, anyway. The more economies of scale and division of labor benefits (See below) that occur the more the additional 10% returns.

I think of it like the difference between buying one meal at a restaurant and eating at a buffet. You pay a little more for the buffet, but, the variety and quality of your meal is improved.

Economies of Scale

We can prepare a meal for five people as easily as two. And by scaling the same ingredients to a recipe the leftovers can last for several meals.

The Same goes for grocery shopping. One trip to the grocery store is taken to shop for five people instead of two. The gas, time and effort is the same while the people it serves is more than double. And we can buy the large cans at Costco making the food cheaper by the once. When the cans are opened they’re less likely to spoil and that means less waste.

Isabel and I each have an SUV. Fabio and Martha have a sedan. Since Isabel is the only person who commutes to work she switched to the sedan and her commuting costs were cut in half. Fabio and Martha can use the SUV around town which requires less mileage and gas on the larger car.

Some things are better, but not cheaper. A bachelor has little incentive to cook for himself, but a family almost always does. That leads to more cooked meals which are more nutritional than foraging out of the pantry.

Division of Labor

There are four people instead of two to manage chores or maintenance around the house. We also get the advantages of four people’s strengths instead of two. A task we have equal ability to perform can be rotated. The result is that the house runs smoother with less effort from any one person.

There’s also less stress. We have natural backup for the everyday overhead of living. Anything from a 2-hour trip to the grocery store to answering the door for the UPS guy.

This may seem trivial but it adds up. For me, its led to more work time and less distractions to write articles such as the one you’re reading.

To get an idea how the time and effort saved adds up look at the following list and add up the time you would save if you only had to perform the task every third time it was needed:

Grocery Shopping
Running Errands
Mailing Packages
Answering the Door
Washing Dishes
Screening Telemarketing Calls
Washing Clothes
Walking the Dog
Moving furniture
Taking Out the Trash
Preparing meals

Time with Family

We’re knocking it out of the park when it comes to time spent with family. Here’s what I observed around the house in the last month:

Singing Nat King Cole songs in Spanish on the patio while barbecuing lunch on the grill.
My mom on the patio with Lucy on her lap and laughing at the lyrics to a Jimmy Buffet song.
Isabel coming home to her favorite Colombian dish instead of having to make dinner when she’s tired.
Isabel and Martha on the couch looking at Facebook photos of a long lost friend.
Talking with Fabio and Martha on the Silla de Navidad about the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac beginning of the next Great Depression.
Ricky following around grandpop whining and begging for a walk.
Martha telling stories of what Isabel was like as a child.
Visiting vineyards on Sundays after church to pick out a place to have the baby baptized.
Isabel and Martha and Maju (Fabio’s sister) decorating the baby’s room, together.

I’ve noticed the house is now the Family nerve center for extended family not living here, as well. Keeping up social contact with them is easier.

None of these things would’ve occurred if we weren’t under the same roof for longer than Christmas visits. And the whole situation will be what our children think of as normal. They will assume its just the way family’s live.

Your Optimal Family Living?

So far, yes.

However, I cannot make a whole-hearted recommendation of MG family living to everyone reading this. There are too many prerequisites, many of which are not in your control. I do recommend being open to considering it in light of the prerequisites, listed below.

Money and Family

It is possible to save money living like this. But, a more realistic goal is to improve your quality of life. Most of the benefits are intangible. Like the best things in life they can be counted on your fingers but maybe not in your bank account.

If you’re on the verge of financial disaster this isn’t going to save you. You probably won’t have the temperament or patience to make it work. One of the ways you could ruin it is to walk around with a calculator and tally up every nickel and dime insisting that everyone pay their fair share. Unless your calculator has has a “Quality of Life” button the numbers won’t prove the case, either way.

House Layout is Critical

Layout is more important than size. I’ve seen 2000 sq. ft. houses that would work and 5000 sq. ft. houses that wouldn’t. Here’s a shopping list of features that would make MG family living easier:

One bedroom per person or couple
One full bathroom per four people
Bathrooms accessible without intruding on privacy
Bedrooms separate from dining room for noise
Bedrooms separate from family room for noise
Kitchen and pantry large enough to handle everyone
House should have places for alone time, besides bedrooms

Including the baby we’ll average 508/sq. ft per person. I don’t know if that’s a magic number because layout is more important that space. Just adding it here for reference.

Good for Everyone

This whole multi-generational family living is voluntary, for everyone. You’d be fooling yourselves to think it was sustainable if there wasn’t something in it for everyone. The more, the better.

Even if your situation does benefit everyone, personalities may not mix. Ours do, so it works. But, any personality friction will only be worse if there isn’t something in it for everyone.

An Extension of Existing Compatibility

My wife and I have similar families, values and goals. And, we were raised in the same part of the country by parents with similar values. During these four months it feels as if our existing compatibility was extended to include our family. Is it really such a stretch that the family she came from is compatible with the family I came from?

Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D. says, “…when two people come from similar backgrounds, they operate from a position of strength. Their relationship is made significantly easier by all the customs and practices they have in common.”

And here’s what he says about the opposite:

“Forging a relationship with an opposite is so hard because every difference you have requires negotiation and adaptation. Accommodation and compromise will necessitate plenty of change. This change creates a kind of stress. If there are too many differences, you may not be able to survive all the strain involved in adapting to each other.”

Starting with you and your wife, a house full of opposites is more likely to zap everyone’s strengths just to cope with all the differences. Families with similar backgrounds, however, can focus on contributing individual strengths for the benefit of all.

The Future

We have many upcoming challenges:

How do things change when the baby comes?
A second child?
What Happens When My Mom Passes Away?
Estate Planning?
Building the Addition to the house?

And what challenges will time reveal that we don’t know about yet?

I plan to update this article, every year, for other families thinking of moving in together. I could have used an article like this five-months ago.

I don’t have an all-time final verdict. But, I do have the verdict on the last four months. I will whisper the three magic words my wife most longs to hear: “You were right”.