Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.1
A recent conversation with a friend (who wants to start a Martial Arts studio) inspired me to revisit the topic of business vetting. The questions in this article were inspired by our conversation. What better place for a “victorious warrior to win first and then go to war…” than in vetting the business of a martial arts studio?!
The High-Paying Activities of Business Vetting & Negotiation
Negotiating is one of the highest paying activities if the return is measured by the time spent negotiating. Higher still is the activity of business vetting. The stakes are, by definition, higher than any deal the business will ever do. After all, no money can be made (or lost) in a business that doesn’t exist.
What’s at stake when vetting a business, however, is far more than money. People invest a large portion of their lives into a business to make it successful. If the time & money invested doesn’t lead to a return, or leaves them in debt, then it would have been far better to have not started the business, at all.
I’m big fan of acquiring the skill of business vetting.
Shark Tank
One of my wife’s favorite shows is “Shark Tank”. We often get drawn into vetting business ideas when watching that show. I wrote How to Vet a Business Idea in 10 Minutes to express my thoughts on the subject and make a reference that might help others.
Business Vetting is Space-Time Travel
Do you think I’m exaggerating by saying business vetting is a form of space-time travel? If so, I beg to differ. If you don’t take it that seriously then you’re in danger of losing large chucks of time and money. The stakes of either a “Go” or “No-Go” decision are immense. The mission, if you choose to accept it, involves:
Deep consideration of the experiences of others.
Knowledge of location and service.
Intimate knowledge of self.
Keeping all these factors, and more, in mind, around a business that doesn’t yet exist, is serious mind-work. Li Ch`uan sums it up, as follows:
Given a knowledge of three things—the affairs of men, the seasons of heaven and the natural advantages of earth—, victory will invariably crown your battles.1
Martial Arts Studio – Questions, Factors, Mentors & Ideas
Subject expertise is only a starting point in creating and running a business around that expertise. I have no expertise in the Martial Arts or the studios in which they’re taught. Someone with expertise could make a better list. But, they wouldn’t make a better list without placing a high value on business vetting and letting go of their fears of exploring the unknowns.
Pedigree
Dojo’s seriously value their pedigree. Who started the art? What inspired them? What problem were they trying to solve? What is their philosophy? Who were their first students? Then the same questions start over, again, with the first students and the next.
Certifications & Organizations
Organizations to become member of?
Do members typically make a profit?
Mentor sign-off/Certification?
Entity Choice?
Tools: Studio equipment, posters, mats, props, safety, uniform suggestions, patch design, belt systems, belt requirements, rate of progress?, web site formats/info, accounting programs, taxe, entity choice?
Location
What factors do successful studios consider before choosing a location?
What factors would successful studios have considered if they could relocate?
Students
What is the expected # of students per population size of the city?
What is the needed # of students needed to pay for average expenses?
What is the average age range of students that make a long-term commitment to the art?
Mentor Modeling of …
When vetting a business, the ideal is to find a real-life mentor who’s “been there before”. If you find one, do whatever it takes to spend time with them. Take your potential business out for a virtual walk by asking them about theirs. Every word out of their mouths is pure gold. The mission is to Simulate Virtual Failure (To avoid actual failure).
Fees?
Schedules?
Number of Instructors needed per students served by studio?
Do you pay advanced students to handle instructor overflow?
How Much?
Seasonal Considerations?
Private Lessons
Offered?
Price?
Schedule?
What’s your day/week/month/year like?
What do you wish you had done (that I could do, now)?
What are you about to try (that I could also try)?
Profit expectations per location?
What obstacles were crucial to overcome to breakthrough to success or smooth operations?
What are common obstacles that have taken down other MA operations (That I could start planning to overcome, now)?
The Ideal Time to Fail, and to Succeed
The ideal time for a business to fail is before it starts. That is, before time and money (or fortunes) have been invested that may never be recouped. Ironically, as captured in the Sun Tzu quote at the beginning of this article, the ideal time for a business to succeed is also before it has started.
The “enemy”, for business vetting purposes, is any factor, external or internal, that would cause the business to fail, or become unsustainable. Would you prefer to subdue your enemies after they surprise you or before they even know there’s a war?
For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.1
There’s so much to running a business that owners must subdue most “enemies” without fighting. Otherwise, they’ll be fighting all day. A Martial Arts studio, especially, ought to save the fighting for the mats.
Try to Talk Yourself Out of It
Entrepreneurs are naturally optimistic. To counterbalance this natural demeanor, try talking yourself out of the business you’re vetting, instead of into it.
If you can talk yourself out of a business idea, then you should. Doing that, gracefully and thoroughly, is what How to Vet a Business Idea in 10 Minutes is meant to accomplish. As my friend, David, used to say:
If you want to be a writer, then don’t. If you have to be a writer, then good luck to you.
Successful Vetting ‘Failures’
I have no idea if a Martial Arts studio is a good business or not. In this section, I’m not speculating, either way. I’m merely offering an example of what a successful vetting “failure” might look like.
What if my friend gets to the end (or middle) of vetting her business and realizes that running her own studio is not going to work? Maybe it won’t pay for itself, won’t make enough of a profit, would require 70-hours-a-week, or that she’s got the right idea for the wrong location, etc. Would that mean she’s, somehow, failed?
Not, at all! She could then redirect maximum effort and resources back into her passion for the Martial Arts. She’d only be able to do that with resources that weren’t lost (on a business that wouldn’t have succeeded, anyway). One of the worst possible outcomes of a failed business is to leave the owner, not only drained of money and energy, but drained of passion for the service, or product, that made them want to start a business in the first place!
If a Martial Arts studio is a “No-Go” for her location then perhaps her “Go” would be to switch gears to offering private lessons, only. Perhaps those private lessons could be made available only to exclusive clients who would pay more for her time. Maybe there’s a resort in her area that would love to have a Martial Arts teacher on tap to teach high-paying classes to guests. If a studio-sized operation won’t break-even, or make a profit, then she’ll be making more profit on her first private lesson than she would have made by running an entire studio!
Passion vs. Business Forms of Expression
I believe all non-destructive passions are good. And yet, where the application of our passions may fit into a business is not always obvious, or conventional. One of the best payoffs of good business vetting is the preservation of our passions so they may be optimally applied, later. The conventional application of well-known passions or talents, may have little or nothing to do with what makes money. It may also have little or nothing to do with their optimal deployment. We should indulge our passions, anyway. Develop them, and enjoy them, while vetting business ideas that may lead to their optimal deployment.
100 to 1
Be willing to get to the end of a hundred business ideas that never start because they can’t succeed. Only then will you have the full confidence and resources to fully engage in a business, around your passion, that will.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.”1
Yep, that Sun Tzu dude knew what he was talking about!
Grandma GG died on the twelfth day of Christmas, 2017.
In Catholic tradition, the following day is the Epiphany, the feast of the three kings, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the Magi. So, the original “12 Days” are not a children’s memory and forfeit game turned into a Christmas carol.
And yet, when a friend reminded me of the day, the first memory I had was of Timothy and Lucas singing that song in the shower of our ski lodge hotel, over the holiday. If there’s anything more beautiful than the sound of children singing it’s the sound of my children singing.
When we drove home, Timothy had the gifts of each day of the song memorized. Then, like my father did so many times, I changed things around on them. To show the boys they’re not stuck with the official version of things, I made up new gifts for the first four days and sang a new carol.
By the time we were done, our version had 12 strummers strumming, three french breads, two lady bugs, and a fish swimming in a glass jar.
Charlie’s Option ‘C’
It was a small change to a lovely song. But, small changes like that, initiated by my father, were at the core of why he and mom lived such an extraordinary life. The conventional was just one possible starting point for my father; a brilliant engineer certain that no one had the whole game figured out. As he would often say, that made running with the herd a most dangerous proposition.
As my cousin Keith put it, if there were options A and B for everyone else, my father had an option C to consider. Tell him that there’s two sides to every coin and he’d probably smile and point out that you missed the third side. You forget about the edge. That’s technically a third side.
I can just hear him saying, “Remember, Terry, nobody’s got the whole game figured out. The instant someone tells you they do, ‘Run!’.”
And yet, for all his insights, when visiting with them in Tokyo my father said the reason they were able to travel everywhere and do such fun things was because of my mom. He just went to work every day, as usual. Mom took care of the blizzard of details it took the relocate, setup another house, figure out the local markets, and pay the bills.
The Shenanigans Continue …
The Shenanigans of the Gillespie’s, the McNally’s, and now the Arbelaez’, continue with the next generation. We sing the beautiful songs given us with the audacity to change the lyrics. The melody eventually goes, too, and the composers are forgotten. New life sings its own version of ancient songs. And nothing but the Grace of God is so assured that it should be immune from re-examination or re-canted with the joy of a personal imprint.
In Everything I Do
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy… in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture…1
And so it was that my brother and I were able to study music and architecture. Everything I do is on the shoulders of my parents, and on my knees, for the glory of our Father in heaven. The sacrifices they made, and the small changes to the norm my dad would always make, compounded into an enveloping blanket of possibilities my brother and I had the luxury of taking for granted.
An Artful Life
Possibilities are the breeding ground of creativity. The fruit of creativity is an artful life and, hopefully, the appreciation of the liberties that make it possible.
My parents were always there to help. Only because I was so sure of that, did I rarely need it. It was a premise in our relationship and bestowed a freedom to compose an extraordinary life. May the compositions of Isabel and I be a worthy extension of their legacy.
The Highest Privilege
When friends used to ask about my childhood I didn’t know what to say. What’s the opposite of a shitty childhood? Whatever that is, that was us.
Such discussions now involve notions of privilege and what that might be. From my parents, I know the answer: the highest earthly privilege, of all, is to be born into a household with a loving father and mother.
I can’t say it enough, and can’t stop thinking it: everything I do only makes sense when viewed as an extension of them. While others may try to discard their heritage, or apologize for it, I will spend the rest of my life being thankful for, and exploring the depths of, my own.
Geraldine Marie Gillespie
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.2
My father found this in my mother, Geraldine Marie Gillespie. And because their lives reflected its importance, I eventually found the same in Isabel. So, Isabel was the perfect one to give my mother her most favorite title of all: Grandma GG.
It was a name quickly conjured to avoid confusion with Martha, the other grandmother living in our house at the time. And, though the role of grandmother is rarely exceeded in stature or importance, it was a role my mother never expected to play. But, as I was to learn in the hours after her death, there was even more than that bundled up into Grandma GG’s favorite title.
A Catatonic Epiphany
For the last three years of her life, I’d prayed to know the purpose of my mother’s increased suffering, being confined to a bed for the past 10 years, and even losing her words.
Then, as befitting the 12th day of Christmas, I was lead on the track of a catatonic epiphany to a small group meeting at our church. Perhaps only around other believers could something as heart-warming, yet terrifying, be revealed: that my mother’s highest purposes in life were identical to her work, which was, in turn, identical to her highest calling. All three of these cherished insights lined up into one for Grandma GG. Her purposes, work, and calling were, all three, the same. They were inextricably bound up, and poured into, her three great loves: my father, my brother, and me.
The rareness of all three of these lining up —something that perhaps only a wife and mother of her time were afforded — is partly why I missed them.
A Mother’s Grief
Seen from that vantage point, it became more understandable that she had the strokes that put her in the bed shortly after my father, and then brother, died. Two-thirds of her life purposes had just left the planet. Her husband and firstborn son, were gone.
For those who haven’t walked that path, there’s no way to comprehend the loss. What I know of it are from the sounds of her weeping over my brother; cries I’d often wished could become unheard as they resonated through every dimension in a way that only a mother’s grief could.
Mom held on, in part, to save me from what she felt that day. She couldn’t bear for the same to happen to me.
A Secret Project
Maybe every child has a feeling their parents are working on a secret project that’s never revealed or talked about. You know they’re up to something; you just don’t know what it is. Then, one day, you realize that the secret project they’ve been working on, all this time, is you.
Every grocery bag, pair of sneakers, uniform, piano lesson, field trip, monthly check for Catholic school … and every drop-off and pick-up and late-night vigil waiting for you to come home, is one more stitch in the patchwork of a quilt they’re making, but don’t expect to use, for their own warmth. They’re sowing the soil, and tending to trees for decades, in hopes that it will bear the most delicious fruit the world has ever seen. And yet they’re perfectly content to die having never taken a bite.
The Unbearable Absence of Reservation
We pour ourselves out for our children, not because they’ve earned it, but because our love for them comes with an almost unbearable absence of reservation. It’s the only fitting metaphor we have of God’s love for us.
What Christ did for all, we seek to do for our children, within the realms of our limited authority: To guide them away from error and onto the path of their most complete fruition. And when they fall short, to plead forgiveness for their youthful trespasses and cancel any records of debt that might stand against them with legal demands.
Charlie’s 10% Solution
My dad said their marriage worked because he put 10% of everything he had into it. My mom wholeheartedly agreed with him on that, adding that the other 90% came from her.
A New Plague
The late 70’s were a tough time for my parent’s marriage. A new legal option of No-fault divorce was creeping across the country like a plague, leaving broken families in its wake. The machinery of separation was put into motion with a 9-syllable incantation: “ir·rec·on·cil·a·ble dif·fer·ences” were not corporate mergers gone awry, but a legal pretense for parents to live in separate houses.
Neutrality & Fairness
I remember my mom saying they couldn’t handle being Switzerland with all the couples they’d known who’d become separate and warring nations; the kids pulled around new artificial zones that, unlike the Vietnam news stories on TV, were anything but demilitarized.
So, there were arguments, and dishes thrown, and frustrations we felt, but didn’t understand. That’s how my brother and I knew that, just because we were born into it, didn’t make our parent’s marriage a guarantee.
We also learned that people playing fair with each other was a recipe for disaster; that it took a lot more than mere fairness to be happy. Only when they became resigned to giving more than received did a peace, that surpasses all understanding, come to our house.
Wedding Song
As sung in the wedding folk song, popular at the time:
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
But, the circle of the exchange in those lyrics spins faster than the inputs of the wedded couple. It’s that invisible extra energy the songwriter is asking about in the question, “Do you believe in something, that you’ve never seen before?”.
Grief is the Precious, Cut Short
I’ve learned from the deaths of my immediate family that the greatest cause for grief is when something precious is cut short of its expected completeness. And though I grieve for my mother, and still for my father and brother, I’m unable to view their lives as having been cut short; each for their own reasons.
Dad’s Bucket List(s)
In a conversation with my dad, a year before he died, he told me that when he was 10-years-old he made a list of things he’d dreamed of doing. By his mid-40’s he’d gotten to the end of that list, and made another. By the time of our conversation, he said he’d checked everything off that second list, as well.
The memory of that exchange was particularly comforting when he died, unexpectedly, a year later. How could his life be viewed as having been cut short if, by his own handwritten lists, he’d completed everything he’d set out to do?
Uncle Tim
When my dad’s brother came to visit, last year, I told him that story. He said he felt the same way and that his number was 75. Seven months later, nine days after Grandma GG, my Uncle Tim met his number.
Mom’s Unexpected Life
As for my mother, she never expected to get to do most of the things she, and my father, did. She raised two boys, traveled the world, got her high school diploma (about the same time we did), worked for a while to see what that was like, learned ikebana painting with the Japanese, and played golf with my father to her hearts content in their dream home, designed by their son, on the 5th hole of a private golf course in South Carolina. All of this, with her husband who’d retired at the age of 53.
It wasn’t until after my father died that I realized that Grandma GG was another artist in the family. Her opinions on logos, and colors, and ideas for business names, were always refreshing. And the grandchildren on her lap were the vitamins she took for her last eight years.
The fullness of Grandma GG’s life is the license we have to limit our grief to that of a life, not cut short, but fully lived.
Death ≠ Life Incomplete
A life is not devoid of purpose, nor incomplete, due merely to the fact that it has ended. If that were so, there is no hope for any of us, nor has there ever been.
I know this is not so, if only because of the memories I draw from them. My father may have helped me make more decisions, after his death, than before it. And though I believe it to be a mere fractal of a larger truth, there’s an undeniable life continued, here and now, in our memories, alone.
They Don’t Feel Gone
Staring at the bed of all the photos of my family it doesn’t make sense that they’re all gone. They don’t feel gone. After another series a fleeting moments, Isabel and my photos will be added to the pile. Then, it will be Timothy and Lucas staring at our pictures with this same odd feeling.
Memory is Proof of Life
Among the dead are those whose memories and past deeds are still having more of an impact on my life, today, than anyone currently living, ever will. So, the separation of who is here, and who is gone, becomes a more ambiguous proposition with each passing year.
After all, if memory of the once living is of no importance, then why punish a murderer? The victim’s gone and justice won’t bring them back. But, murderers are punished because the living will not put their memories away. The bell of the victims life will not be un-rung. And neither will the absence of justice be forgotten, or un-factored in to the righteous behavior of the survivors.
I believe the soul is sanctified by the Holy Spirit, and continues a new life in the unseen realm, as the body falls away. Still, unbelievers can take comfort in the memories of loved ones who’ve died, and the life contained in their memory of them.
In the first few years, not a day went by without a citation of the fourth commandment, in one direction or another. We eventually got the hang of it in seeing the final years of Grandma GG’s life through. Her care was part of our purpose, while she was in the final stages of completing hers. We were like mirrors pointed at each other, each unaware of the reflections compounding into infinity.
Through the Eyes of Visitors
But, our children, and others, saw those reflections.
Every once in a while we’d get an outside perspective on our lives, through the eyes of visitors. It was like having a puppy and a friend stops by, two months later, and breaks the news to you that what you’re calling a puppy has become a dog.
As friends and family passed on condolences, one of the first things they’d say is how wonderful it was that Grandma GG spent her final years with her family.
They’re right, it was wonderful. But, it was just as wonderful to spend the long beginning of my life, with her.
End of the Rainbow
In retrospect, the struggles I had in caring for my mom were like a man complaining about a rock in his shoe while walking to the end of a rainbow. The treasure, waiting to be collected, is more than one house can hold. Part of that treasure is the proof that Grandma GG’s highest calling was met, so that even 1/3rd of its fulfillment was more than enough to reap for the care she needed.
Another part is that our boys woke up, everyday of their four and eight-year lives, with a grandparent living in the same house.
“God’s law is an unspeakably good and precious thing, and to live within it is to live the life that is eternal. To be sure, (God’s) law is not the source of rightness, but it is forever the course of rightness.3
The Potency of Holiness
Our bodies know the differences between darkness and light better than our minds. While surprised that a candle has lit up the whole gymnasium, our bodies have already started walking towards it.
Light is more than the absence of darkness. And holiness is more than the absence of sin. If sin is the drum of water we drink from, then holiness is the teaspoon of bleach that makes the whole drum potable.
Her Inheritance
My moms inheritance is in answering her highest calling. It was poured out into her three men, into her new family, and also for those who saw her race, finished well.
And like the story of the thief on the cross, who had no hope before that fateful day, may the retelling of her story inspire other families to stick together and light their own candles with the fire within. And may a spoonful of that be credited to the account of Grandma GG’s inheritance in the Kingdom of God.
In Our Muscle Memory
Grandma GG is still in our muscle memory and in the walls of the house. While writing these words, I’ve kept the room monitor on in my office in case Grandma GG needs something. Isabel and I still hear the bell she used to ring, and the pitch of her voice, calling for something. We’re still quiet on the phone so as not to wake her, and we keep feeling the need to break away from dinners with friends, because mom’s been alone for too long.
The Smirk on Lucas’ Face
Grandma GG did not abide orders or directives. There was a certain way she’d purse her lips and stare when orders were detected. That’s when you knew there wasn’t a thing in the world that could move her. You’d just settled the matter; nothing would move her until she was good and ready.
One day, while giving an order to our two-year-old, I looked over to see something that brought chills of deja’vu. Lucas had the same eyes, and curled up smirk, I’ve seen on my mothers face for fifty years. I knew immediately the battle lines were drawn, and he had the upper hand. My mother’s will-not-abide smirk had been transmuted right onto Lucas’ defiant face.
I can only imagine the deep-rooted pig-headedness originating from ancient celtic roots that is now a weapon in his arsenal. And, boy, it’s a good one. Grandma GG would love knowing that she had left her Lucas Michael, so well-armed. As foreboding a look as it is, I love seeing her smirk on Lucas’ face. Even though I know what I’m in for.
Timothy’s Willy Wonka House
“When you love someone you go to the ends of the earth for them.”
— Aunt Bernie
Timothy doesn’t have Grandma GG’s defiant smirk. What he inherited from Grandma GG is waking up for the first eight years of his life with grandparents living in the same house. He has the cookies and candy in her drawer, her birthday gifts, the coca-cola Santa Claus kisses, and grandparents’s day at school.
When watching the original Willy Wonka, Timothy saw nothing odd in all the grandparents in the bed. To him, it was a matter-of-fact depiction of the way all families live. Families take care of one another, come what may, and no one is left behind.
Conclusion
Prior to my mom’s passing, Isabel had never experienced the death of an immediate family member. Now, as a reluctant veteran, perhaps she’d agree that death, compared to life, is a simple thing.
Death doesn’t give meaning to life; it just imposes a deadline on the project to perfect the soul our bodies are bound to, for a while. The body gives out, and the soul is released, to forever be what it became under the care of our earthly stewardship.
The greatest gift of life is the chance to shape, and try to perfect, the state of our immortal souls.
May we prepare for death like a bel canto singer navigates through the passagio of the upper-middle voice; switching over to a new set of involuntary muscles so the voice may gracefully ascend into its highest range.
But, She’s Ours!
Two weeks after she died, Lucas asked, “When are they going to send Grandma GG back?”
“What do you mean, Lucas?”, Isabel asked.
“When are they going to be done working on her body … (counting on his fingers) … “1-day, 2-days, 3-days, 4-days, 5-days?”
“She’s not coming back, Lucas. We have to go see her.”
“But, she’s ours!”, he said.
Then, last week, Lucas asked the same question. When Isabel told him Grandma GG was gone he yelled, “But, she’s ours! Why can’t they fix her body and send her back?!” before crying for five minutes; an eternity for a four-your-old.
Yes, honey. She’s ours.
And we will never forget her, nor the last time we saw her, this morning as she prepared for her journey and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.4
Songbirds, P.S.
Alright, mom. These words hardly begin to summarize your life. But, you’d be happy with a few highlights in your son’s voice. It must have been awesome to get out of that bed and stretch out into a walk!
Remember when Dad borrowed Wendell’s RV and we camped and drove across the whole country? Dad wore out those Fleetwood Mac tapes and almost killed us on the mesa verde mountain curves.
My least favorite song is the one I can’t get out of my head. It reminds me of you and dad. You guys are together, now, like you imagined for all those years watching the golf channel. Every time that bell rings it feels like you’re still here. I’m glad, we’re glad, that, “For you, there’ll be no more crying.”
For you, the sun will be shining.
And I feel that you’re with us
And It’s alright, I know it’s right.
My songbirds are singing, like they know the score.
And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.
If you can read this article you can sell your house without using a realtor. I’m doing it now and its taken 2-4 hours a week to keep the sale on track. Selling without using a realtor will save you 4-7% on the sale price. The median priced home in the US in 2008 is $212,400. A 4-7% commission on the sale is $8500- $15,000! That’s a lot of money. How long would it take you to save $15K after you pay your mortgage, food, clothing, children’s school, insurance, car payments, income taxes, state taxes and pizza on Fridays? This is the story of what I did to sell my own house; how it happened, what worked, and what didn’t. I’ll tell you what I would do differently the next time, problems that had to be solved and tips I would offer other sellers who want to sell their house without using a realtor.
Worse Time to Sell, Ever!
There has never been a worse time to sell a house than now (10/8/2008). Truth be told: I had the ability to avoid selling at the wrong time, but, got caught for reasons beyond the scope of this article. I’m not complaining: At least I was able to sell, to find the buyer myself and for what I know to be the highest price possible. The excess inventory of houses on the market is huge, prices are down 30% and the average house is on the market for 11.2 months before being sold or taken off the market. What made the process harder for me was the constantly falling prices throughout the sale. If I can sell a house in this market, without a realtor, from three thousand miles away without even showing up for the closing then every seller has good reason to be optimistic.
Help-U-Sell Wouldn’t Return My Calls
The first thing I did was look for a company I saw on 60 minutes called Redfin. I liked their philosophy on breaking out realtor services into parts and giving the seller the option of choosing which services they wanted. Since I was selling from a distance I thought paying for the help would be a wise tradeoff. There were no Redfin offices in Boca Raton, Florida. So, I looked for a local Help-U-Sell since they break out their services, too. My wife used them to sell her house in California and had a good experience. She believes it saved her a lot by using them instead of a old-school realtor. They added her to the MLS, advised her on price, did several open houses which eventually produced a buyer. My first call to Help-U-Sell was not returned. My second phone call to Help-U-Sell was not returned. My friend David called a third time and they didn’t return his call, either. This is what lit my fuse and got me thinking about selling it myself. If they won’t return my calls maybe they won’t return calls from potential buyers, either? And after my wifes experience I didn’t want to have to pay the whole 6% commission to an old-school realtor.
Brief Summary of My Sale
I live in California and will be closing on the sale of my house in Florida, this week. I hired a friend to prepare the house for the sale, set the price, found the buyer, arranged for a Title Company to handle the escrow and the paperwork and will not be present at the closing. The title company is sending all the documents to me in California to perform what they call a ‘mailaway’ closing. I’m not bragging. It’s a description of what happened. My friend David spent two weeks at the property preparing the house, painting, putting up the sign, hanging a lockbox on the door, gathering info on the local market and fixing up the kitchen and bathroom. Excluding David’s work, its taken 2-4 hours per week to find the buyer and keep the sale on track.
The Steps
These are the steps you’ll be going through to sell your house:
Preparing the House
Setting the Price
Finding a Buyer
Negotiating the Details
Doing the Paperwork
Solving Problems
Closing
If you’re like me you may think you need a realtor to help with every step. What I’m going to explain in this article is that realtors help you mostly with Step 3.: Finding a Buyer. I was worried about all the paperwork. All those contracts, disclosures and escrow forms. Don’t realtors handle all that? No, they don’t. The Title company does. Your realtor just calls one and turns it over to them. You can call one, just as easily. They make the paperwork a breeze. You have to manage all the other steps, anyway, whether you use a realtor or not. With a little extra effort you can find your own buyer (Step 3), too. If you do, you’ll be paid handsomely by saving yourself a large commission. To put it another way: Finding a buyer is the most expensive part of the process to outsource.
Warning: This Article Could Be a Book
Some books have one thing to say and take a book to say it. This article has a books worth of things to say and will take an article to say it. Update: I did have to make this article into a book. It grew to ~20,000 words and is now a mini-book. I’ll post a few more thousands words, here, and you can download the book, for free … A web search reveals that people have written books about this subject. I haven’t read them, so, can’t vouch for them. Searching Google turns up many articles about this topic. I found these articles to be encouraging, but, not conclusive. They don’t seem to be written by actual sellers who went through the whole process of selling their own house. The next time you search for articles you’ll find this one. Problem solved. The goals for this article are:
To document and guide you through every aspect of one sale: My own.
To be complete enough that you could make a decision to use, or not use a realtor for your own sale.
I’ll be as brief as the subject allows. When you’re selling your own house it won’t seem too long. Hopefully, it will be saving you time, effort and some money, too.
Terminology
A broker holds the licence for a Real Estate office. They are the only legal party eligible to receive the entire commission. It is harder to become a broker than an agent in that there are more tests involved and more legal requirements to keep the license active. An agent works for a broker and receives a percentage of the commission for conducting the sale. A realtor could be either an agent or a broker. This article will use the term Realtor, in most cases. It does’nt matter whether you’re working with an agent or a broker. They’re both realtors and, therefore, working for a commission.
Real Estate Commissions – The Last Dinosaur
The internet has destroyed or brought into the new millennium every commission known to man. Every commission, that is, except for what realtors take for connecting sellers with buyers.
Realtors Make More than Architects?
My brother was an architect. Architects earn one of the hardest BS degrees taking five years of college, not four. When they graduate they spend 5 years preparing for the boards. During that dues paying period they make half as much as a good waitress. When they finally get their board certification they still have to work another five years for another architect because its so difficult to establish a practice. Yet another another 5-year dues-paying phase. Architects design, draw, code, change, every aspect of material and space and attend to every imaginable detail to bring a building into existence. Their exposure to liability is insane to the point that many can’t afford the insurance. If an architect does manage to have his own practice the costs to run the practice dwarf those of a brokers office. What’s the architects commission on a building after this lifetime of preparation, exposure to liability and detailed work on the building, itself? Six percent. That’s right, the same commission a broker gets. How would you compare what an architect does for a building to what a realtor does for it? How would you compare the cost of education and training of an architect to that of a broker? Case closed. I’m not criticizing Realtors, agents or brokers. I’m criticizing the size of their commission. It’s disproportionately large for what they do compared to an architects work on the same building. How much work does it take you to earn the money your about to turn over to the realtor for finding a buyer?
The Biggest Deal of Your Life
Selling your house is the largest deal most people will ever do. Optimizing the 6-7% commission on that transaction should be a priority. I say ‘optimize’ instead of save because, if you do pay a commission, you should get the best service you can and pay only for the services you get. Many people would say they want to use a realtor because it’s the biggest deal of their life. After all, if you pay 7% to an agent that’s still leaves 93%. If you feel this way I still think you should try selling yourself for the first 30-days.
What About the Other Transaction Costs?
Can you save on them, too? Yes. But, why talk about them before you’ve gone after your biggest cost? The other transaction costs pale in comparison.
DIY, Not!
Just because I want to save the 6% commission to a Realtor doesn’t mean I want to conduct the whole sale, myself. No, thank you! These two things are not the same thing. Enlisting the talents of other people is a smart thing to do. And its a brilliant thing to do when selling your own house. I received (And paid for) an extensive amount of help on each step of the process. Several things motivated me to attempt the sale without using a Realtor:
My opportunity cost is currently low.
I’ve read a lot on the subject and am familiar with the process.
I’m an experienced buyer, but not seller.
I wanted to see if saving the 6% commission was possible.
I have another house for sale and could save 6% on that one, too.
If successful I could write this article and help others save a chunk of money in bad economic times.
And, like I said above, Help-U-Sell wouldn’t return my calls. Too bad for them.
Real Estate Expert, Not!
The subject of Real Estate is vast. One could devote a lifetime to all the various aspects to become an expert. Even then, a true expert would have to specialize because there are so many fields of knowledge involved. So, what?! I didn’t have to be an expert to sell my house, expertly. And, neither do you. A mere play on words? Not in my case. I’m selling a house, not running a business or a career. I suspect my perspective is more useful to other sellers because I’m not an expert. You don’t need to be an expert to have each step of your sale be expertly done.
Don’t Become an Agent
Becoming an agent to sell your own house is like “Burning down a house to make toast”. Total overkill. Not needed. In fact, being an agent is probably a liability, see below. Don’t become an agent just to sell your house.
Liability, Not an Asset
In 2002 I studied to become a real estate broker. I enjoy the subject, read all the prep material and thought about taking the tests. But, working as a broker or agent did not fit my personality so there was little point in getting the license. One of the things I learned is there’s a downside to being an broker: They’re held to a higher legal standard of performance. In practice, this means you’re exposed to more legal liabilities because its easier to accuse you of negligence if you have a license proving competence. So, why not just be competent without a license? I’m more interested in having knowledge and understanding than in having a license saying I do. Dishonesty at any stage of selling a house is more likely to blow the deal than anything. But, the law can often be an ass. Let it be an ass to someone else. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not claiming to know as much as a broker or an agent. They have their focus and I have mine. Theirs is to run a business and earn commissions. Mine is to sell my house for the optimal price and keep as much of the proceeds of the sale as possible. Those two areas of focus are not the same.
John T. Reed – Thumbs Up
Much more helpful than reading the material for the brokers license was reading John T. Reed’s books on the subject of Real Estate. I read all 20 of them and they’re the best survey of the field of Real Estate I’ve ever found. Each of his books describe a different aspect of Real Estate mostly for the benefit of investors, specifically. However, taken in total, the reader is given a practical overview of the subject like no other. What’s great about John’s writing is his readability when writing about a complex subject. He will tell you in two pages what would take another author an entire chapter if they had the knowledge to say it. In my opinion that makes John an expert’s expert. Although I highly recommend all of John’s Real Estate books I don’t think reading them is a prerequisite to sell your house without using a realtor. However, there is no doubt that you’ll do a better job of it if you do. You’ll have to decide that based on your goals and time available. It should go without saying that the cost of buying all of his books is nothing compared to the deal you’re trying to optimize. (Note: This article is a report from the battlefield of my sale. Don’t blame John for mistakes I made and write about in this article. At some point, we all have to stop reading and start doing. I read until I was blue in the face and still made mistakes. That’s just the way it goes when you’re in the ring and have to get the job done. Rest assured I made less mistakes, and lost less money, by learning from others experience and writings.)
How Do You Handle a Hungry Realtor?
By understanding what they do, what they charge, how they talk and what motivates them. You may even end up hiring one. If you do I hope you’ll be able to put their role in perspective and limit their service to the help you need to conduct the sale.
Realtors Want Speed, Not Price
Brokers use price when deciding what state, region, city, neighborhood or type of property to specialize in selling. After that its all about speed. Any broker in their right mind values speed over price. Brokers make more money if they sell more houses in less time. Even if they’re only selling one house it’s a better use of their time to sell it quickly. No problem, so far. Why tell you the obvious you may be wondering. Because the higher the price the slower the sale. In fact, if you know the fair market value (FMV) for your house and take 5% off that price John T. Reed refers to it as the ‘Quick Sale Price’. Its called that because you can sell it within a week if the market is efficient.
Doesn’t Higher Price Means More for Them?
Sure, their commission, based on percentage, goes up with the price. But, the amount the commission goes up as the price rises is small compared to the commission on the whole deal. Sure they’re supposed to represent your interests and a lot of that is getting the highest price possible. But advising you on the highest price you can get will almost always add time to the length of the sale. That may be ok with you, but, it is not in the realtors best interest. Even worse, setting too high a price is the most common reason for a deal not going through, at all. And setting the price, even for the ‘experts’ is not an exact science. Why take any risk at all, the realtor may conclude. I’m not making a blanket accusation of realtors, here. I’m merely pointing out there’s a natural tension between getting the highest price you can and the time it takes to sell. And you should know that the realtor cares a lot more about speed than you do about price. There’s little to no incentive for the buyer or sellers broker to hold out for a higher price. A realtor will probably tell you if what you’re asking for is too low for the area. But, its more likely a broker will need to talk a seller down in price. Some of that may be to correctly adjust a sellers unrealistic expectations, fine. However, be on the lookout for the suggestion being offered merely to increase the speed of the sale. If it is, make sure that’s what you want to accomplish. Unfortunately, its always to the brokers advantage to lower the price . . . to increase the speed.
6-7% and The Seller Pays It All
Realtors say they only charge 3%. But, there are two realtors: The buyers and the sellers. They each charge 3%. That makes realtor fees 6%. Most of the time the seller pays it all. The marketplace has decided the seller has more to gain from the sale than the buyer. I don’t like that, but, it makes sense when you realize the seller has one house to sell and the buyer has many houses to choose from. Why would a buyer pay broker fees if they can buy the same or similar house and negotiate those fees away? This has become standard behavior so sellers know they have to pay all the broker fees and most of the other closing costs, as well. The exceptions to this are when the buyer doesn’t have competing choices for the house or has decided they must have a particular house. Any situation that would inspire these feelings in the buyer have the potential for the seller to get the buyer to share in the broker fees.
Do I Have to Pay the Buyers Broker?
Not, at all. But, don’t blow a good deal over it. Even if you don’t use a realtor you may get a call from a realtor who has ‘found’ you a buyer. As with all people interested in your house I recommend you show it to them.
Don’t Let Them Screen You
Don’t let the buyers realtor screen your position on paying their commission before they show their buyer the house. If they don’t like what you say they may not show their buyer your house even if your house is perfect for their buyer. This would be a violation of their ethical code as a realtor. But, I don’t recommend you risk losing a buyer for your house by relying on their broker adhering to their own ethical code. On the initial phone call just tell them the truth: You’re willing to consider any offer, agreeable to all parties, that will make the sale go through.
Your Options
If their buyer is interested in making an offer you have the following options for paying the commission to the buyers broker:
Recommend the buyer pay since the buyer benefited from their service.
Agree to pay them a commission, but, you only pay X% to buying brokers.
Tell them you’ll pay if the buyer increases the sales price (Same as buyer pays).
Don’t pay them and leave the choice to the buyer (Probably resulting in splitting it).
It’s possible the buyer signed a contract with their broker. That’s got nothing to do with you. Don’t interfere with a contract the buyer may have signed with his broker. In other words, you have options, but not obligations, if a realtor shows up and wants money from you for a buyer.
Offers to Help With the Sale
When they find out you’re not using a realtor they may offer to help you conduct the sale in exchange for a commission. You should already be prepared to handle the sale, yourself. Tell them no thank you. They have enough to do helping their buyer find a house, a loan and guiding them through the sale. You’ve already got a Title company handling everything and don’t require assistance.
Be Prepared For Intimidation Tactics
You may get all sorts of intimidating advice from Realtors, at this point. All of it is aimed at trying to get you to use a realtor instead of finding a buyer yourself:
They may threaten to ‘take away’ their buyer (Which violates their professional obligation to act for the benefit of their buyer).
They may imply you’re a fool and know nothing about real estate and should let the experts handle it.
They may claim you’ll never sell the house if its not on the MLS, which they can generously put you on (For 3%).
They may throw escrow terms around in the hopes that you’ll be intimidated.
They may try to confuse you on the steps of the process.
Hopefully, you’ve read my entire article by then and don’t fall for any of it.
Divide and Conquer
This is how ‘experts’ do it: They talk fast and confidently, using terms you havn’t heard, about a subject that’s new to you. Your wife, or you, get nervous and says, “Maybe we should stick with the professionals”. The remainder of the conversation is you pitting your instinct up against their ‘expertise’ on a subject you haven’t yet studied. Even if you ‘win’ the argument they change the subject and say another misleading 50 words to start over again. Since you’re going with instinct and it appears the agent is going with ‘facts’ you get in an argument with your wife because she wants to go with the ‘experts’ because the deal involves so much money. I truly hope this article helps you with that situation. I will give you one example, and how I would handle it, below. However, I can’t address everything that may come up. If you do decide to talk with a realtor I recommend studying up on all the potential things that might come up before the meeting. Especially if your meeting as a couple. Why not print out a copy of this article for your wife? Heck, at the very least you can show the realtor this article and say, “Why can’t I do what this guy did?”. Maybe it will change the subject into a service you might want to purchase from the realtor. Something costing less than their entire 3%, I would hope.
One Example and How I Would Handle It
Here’s one example of the kind of misleading advice brokers give out. Its from an article on the web written by a Realtor named Elizabeth Weintraub on about.com. The title of the article is Who Pays the Real Estate Commission? How Does an Agent Get Paid? Elizabeth writes: “It can be argued and, quite rightfully so, that the buyer always pays the commission. Why? Because it’s typically part of the sales price. If the seller did not sign an agreement to pay a commission, the sales price might have been lowered. And therein lies the appeal of buying homes through unrepresented sellers because, given the same logic, those prices should reflect a net sales price without a commission. But those sellers haven’t quite figured this out yet which causes potential buyers of those listings to be consistently disappointed.” Ms. Weintraub’s advice is wrong, misleading, insulting to sellers and meant to intimidate potential buyers and sellers of FSBO (For Sale By Owner) properties. Let me explain why: (Note: This concludes the excerpt from Chapter One of the e-book, “How To Sell Your House Without Using A Realtor”. It grew to ~20,000 words and is now a mini-book. You can download it, for free, from McGillespie Free Resource Library.)
Knowing what I wanted to write about. At the heart of good writing is angst and anger. I write to keep the former from turning into a toxic form of the latter. I’m thankful for angst. It impels me to read, think, and write to achieve clarity on what’s causing it.
Over-learning subjects that are important to me. I’ve taken many writing courses, such as Stephen King’s “On Writing”, Julia Cameron’s “Artist Way”, and Jeff Goin’s “Intentional Blogging”.
Having a keen desire to master the “active literacies” of writing, argumentation, and public speaking to write the script of my own life.
Reading Personality
I love being immersed in a great story! That’s why I read so much non-fiction: The greatest stories ever told are about what really happens; what people really do.
My reading is non-fiction, punctuated by ecstatic binges of fiction (Which I’ll only read if recommended by a friend). If you often say, “You can’t make this stuff up!” or, “If this happened in a movie or book no one would believe it!”, perhaps you’d enjoy reading more non-fiction, as well.
Introversion over Extraversion (59%)
Intuition over Sensing (50%)
Feeling over Thinking (31%)
Judging over Perceiving (25%)
I’ve take more extensive versions of the MBPT but have misplaced the results. Those results are probably more accurate on the percentages. Still, I’m consistently an INFJ and, more rarely, INFP. That would be consistent with the above results as the “Judging” dominance is only 25% over “Perceiving”.
‘Careers’
The online test says INFJ’s might excel in “careers” around: Education, Law, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Arts and Humanities, Graphics Design and Multimedia, Humanities, Social Services, Health Care, Early Childhood Education, Librarian.
Note: I put quotes around “career” because it’s a silly word when applied to most people. There are lifetime occupations and callings. But, most people change jobs an average of six times over a lifetime. My experience in corporate America was that the word “career” is used to keep the employee motivated, and invested, in long term benefits that may, or may not, ever materialize. I’m all for people respecting the big picture of the company they work for. The word, “career”, however, is often a lying word used to sell something.
Communication Skills
To help others wherever possible, and even when it seems impossible, is what fills an INFJ’s life with meaning and serves as their main motivation. This is their main orientation in the world, and it defines how they relate to events and to people around them.
In communication INFJs come across as thoughtful, supportive, and caring. Communication with an INFJ is pleasant and easy, since they are inherently well-disposed towards the other party. They are attentive and empathetic to other people’s feelings. Whenever one communicates with an INFJ, he or she instantly feels just how much they care about the people they know.
INFJs find it easy to communicate with people of various types and on variety of topics. However, INFJs can occasionally come across as somewhat reserved in their communication. Yet what they do when they appear reserved is taking time to sort out their feelings and thoughts of other people or current events.
An INFJ’s everyday social circle is unlikely to be extensive. It mostly consists of close friends, colleagues, and family members.
Those who work in the same field (e.g. coworkers or colleagues) are often reliant on, or interested in, an INFJ’s expert opinion of counsel on professional subjects. An INFJ is perfectly capable of maintaining an eventful business communication agenda involving an exchange of ideas and opinions, as well as practical solutions.
BookGeome Project
This BookGeome personality chart is based on uses of dialogue, descriptions, prose, and pacing in fictional writing. Amber Helt explains how to use the chart. Though I write non-fiction I went through the exercise for the sake of completeness.
DIALOGUE — Expressive (E) vs. Stoic (S)
DESCRIPTIONS — Detailed (D) vs. Concise (C)
PROSE — Hefty (H) vs. Breezy (B)
MOTION — Patient (P) vs. Kinetic (K)
That would make me either an SCBP or an SCHP. That type, they say, is suited to write on subjects of Education, Business, Economics, Religion, Self-Help or Performing Arts. Those are, in fact, many of the subjects I’ve written about in the past.
Weaknesses
My current weaknesses are in editing and speed of publication. I often write thousands of words per day but don’t publish thousands of words per day. My ratio of written-to-published words is about 5-to-1 and that’s too high. The ideal is probably closer to 2-to-1. My ratio is too high for three reasons:
Lack of brain dominance leads to indecisiveness in the editing process. The many options for phrasing, wording, ordering of paragraphs and sentences, feel more like solving a math problem than editing words. A hypothetical audience would probably see little difference in drafts after the first two.
Fear of being wrong about something important. The material I write about is often deep territory. There’s usually much research and reading that goes into it.
Fear of burning through the attention span of the reader before imparting the important points of the piece. This impels me to spend more time — too much time — in the editing phase.
Remedy
Publish more under deadline. I imposed an artificial deadline on this essay for just that reason. The less time I stew over editing choices — after the first two drafts — the better. Happily for all, needless words are omitted by the second draft.
My Writing Personality(s)
Within Jeff Goin’s blogging types, the strongest, for me, is that of an Artist. Almost equally strong is Professor. Only with a subject firmly “in hand” does the personality of a prophet creep in.
Journalist? Only if an important job requires it. My book, The Creature from Galt’s Gulch, required a journalistic personality. Since it’s not my natural personality I find it difficult to write follow-up articles.
Star? None.
Artist
I gravitate towards creativity, beauty, music, art, and entrepreneurship. I appreciate all mediums in which they present.
Beauty and functionality are rarely seen apart from one another. The shape and skin of a dolphin is as beautiful as the jet plane or submarine that mimics it. The reverse is equally true: That which achieves a high level of functionality is inevitably beautiful.
By starting with art, an artist need give up nothing of functionality.
Professor
Writing in the role of a consultant often requires the personality of the “Professor”. The challenge is to impart the information, professionally, without sucking the “voice” out of it. Even dry material is more easily digested when presented in a unique voice.
I like “Playing the professor” as it forces me break things down into implementable steps. That turns data into knowledge, making wisdom possible, and action (Or silence), possible, as well.
Anything that solves a problem is also beautiful, especially to the one with the problem!
Prophet
With artistic eyes, and the eyeglasses of the professor, I can sometimes look out at the landscape of the subject and make predictions. Such “prophecies” are not outcomes I wish to be so. They’re outcomes I think likely to occur given the trajectory of the predicting elements of the matter at hand.
Only a fool would underestimate the power of man’s free will. Even in the Bible, foreknowledge is not predestination.
Voice
Take away the voice and all that’s left are facts and data. Even formal expression is more interesting, and easier to digest, when presented in a unique voice.
The journey to find my voice has been the greatest adventure of my life. Every part of it has thickened the connection between my inner thoughts and outer reality.
It’s a great thing to read and understand everything one can to improve our own lives. It’s a much greater thing to parlay that work into something to inspire, lighten the load of, or shorten the path for, others.
Things that can do that are, in my view, masterpieces.
Writers must know their writing personality. They must also discover, and write with, their unique voice. But, what about non-writers? Why would such things matter to them?
In short, because the “active literacies” of writing, argumentation, and public speaking enable you to write the script of your own life. And, at the core of their mastery is knowledge of writing personality and voice.
7 Great Reasons
Write the main script of your own life, authentically, and in your own voice.
“Get out of your head” by connecting your inner intellectual life with your outer reality.
Help others by “giving voice” to their concerns. Influence them to take action on their own dear purposes or beliefs.
Bypass the procrastination that comes from worrying that what you’ve written (or haven’t yet written) will “come off” as inauthentic.
Recruit allies to your work, projects, interests, purposes, and calling.
Write faster, better, and more effectively having removed these primary introspective blocks.
Ignorance of writing personality and voice are the primary introspective blocks to expression. With their removal the road to mastery of the active literacies is clear.
The Active Literacies
Any role requiring you to influence, share with, or teach others can be accomplished more effectively with mastery of what J.T. Gatto calls the “active literacies“.
America was literate beyond anybody’s wildest dreams, and not merely book-literate. Americans (Circa 1840) were broadly proficient in the formidable “active literacies” of writing, argumentation, and public speaking; things which had actually been a crime to teach ordinary people under British colonial rule.
— John Taylor Gatto, “Weapons of Mass Instruction”, pp. 17
We all are vaguely aware that literacy is at the heart of an intellectual inner life, but what we don’t understand is that is, prior to the First World War, literacy was commonly divided into passive literacy, reading, and active literacy, speaking and writing. And none of us are aware that in Colonial days, that to teach active literacy to ordinary people was a crime! Why? Because reading, you’re locked in your own head and you still have the benefit of being able to read the boss’s instructions about what to do. But if you can speak well, as our current President can, or write well, you can reach way beyond your own skull and recruit allies. That’s a no-no for ordinary people;, they’re supposed to be so inarticulate, or their writing will look so funny with ink blots and things in it, that no one treats them seriously.
Knowledge Workers
Knowledge workers are workers whose main capital is knowledge. Examples include software engineers, physicians, pharmacists, architects, engineers, scientists, public accountants, lawyers, and academics, whose job is to “think for a living”.1
As a consultant I know, firsthand, how knowledge workers must often become functional writers. They must excel at expressing the results of their work to merely deliver it. Aside from formal occupations, knowledge work is almost unavoidable, nowadays. If you spend three or more hours a day behind a computer, chances are good you also need to write, or talk about, what you’ve accomplished. Words fly faster, higher, and more effectively, when the writer is resonating with their own personality and voice.
Writing vs. Reading Personality
What you read is not necessarily how you’ll write. You might read science fiction, romance novels, how-to’s, or biographies. That doesn’t mean your writing personality will fit one of those styles.
Of course, everything you read informs your writing. But, don’t feel compelled to match the styles or personalities of what you read.
The Path of My Discovery
I found my writing personality and voice by:
Writing (and singing) lyrics and songs. I find it easier to remember melodies than lyrics. When I can’t remember lyrics I make them up to fit the melody.
Knowing what I wanted to write about. That’s something you can find out with relative ease. In the case of the knowledge worker, for example, the subjects are often given to you or dictated by the work. If you’re writing the script(s) of your life, however, this will take more introspection.
Over-learning subjects that are important to me. Toward that end I’ve taken many writing courses. I enjoyed Stephen King’s “On Writing”, Julia Cameron’s “Artist Way”, and Jeff Goin’s “Intentional Blogging”.
People are Blind to Their Own Strengths
People are the first to recognize their own weaknesses and last to recognize their strengths. Writing personality and voice have positive and negative attributes. Your writing will only improve if you recognize both. StrengthsFinder 2.0 is a great way to get started on finding your strengths. I also recommend taking a Meyers Briggs personality test.
The Artist … writes and creates because they love beauty.
A Prophet … tells us the hard truth about the world or themselves.
The Journalist … asks questions, assimilates the answers, and shares it with others.
The Professor … teaches by taking something complex and breaking it up into small, actionable steps.
The Star … is someone readers want to be around or be like.
If you’re not sure what personality you gravitate towards try giving samples of your writing to a few people you trust. Ask them for the first three adjectives that come to mind when they read them. Then ask them if your writing matches your actual personality. What’s missing? What’s not missing and rings authentic to the real you?
Use Your Voice
Take away your voice and all that’s left are facts and data. Even formal expression is more interesting, and easier to digest, when presented in a unique voice.
What makes your voice distinct from all others?
What impression do you want to give your readers/listeners?
Can you add a story (Or a joke) to illustrate the point?
Can you tell a joke to lighten up the mood?
Would a sarcastic comment get listeners to perk up?
Would a self-effacing comment add humility to an impression of arrogance that you don’t feel?
The deep introspection involved in the journey to find your voice is worth it. Everything you learn thickens the connection of your inner intellectual life with your outer reality. What slowly begins to emerge is the masterpiece only you can be.
Davenport, Thomas H. (2005). Thinking For A Living: How to Get Better Performance and Results From Knowledge Workers. Boston: Harvard Business School Press. ISBN 1-59139-423-6. ↩
“Everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.”
— Albert Einstein
I’ve found that life can be optimized with respect to a minimum of seven areas. Delete any one of them from the equations of your awareness and your life will degrade, sooner or later. Since these areas are irreducible I call them the Seven Matters of Life. They are: Personal, Health, Spiritual, Business, Family, Law, & Government.
The Seven Matters exert an inevitable, if not invisible, influence on our lives. As with natural laws describing gravity, time, the speed of light, etc. they persist whether we ignore them or not. We “escape” them only through acknowledgement and mastery.
My writing is an informational vortex swirling around the Seven Matters. Ideally, it serves as a generational boost to reduce the time needed to put your own life on optimal track.

Within the metatron cube are many other shapes. For example, it contains all five platonic solids.

In this revolving view the cubic relationships of the same fractal are emphasized.

Fractals can represent infinity by putting the same fractal within itself. Here’s what a metatron cube looks like with each sphere filled with its own metatron cube:

Working Portrait
Please don’t mistake the colorful portrait, below, as “New Age” philosophy with its nauseating relativism. To the contrary, it’s a working portrait of the seven matters at the core of each person. Though we’re all unique, and at differing levels of development, our design is specific and persistent.

Notice these aspects of the portrait:
The seven inner-spheres of the core correspond closely to the seven matters of life.
The “matter” at the center is Spirit; a reference to the spirit inside you and to God.
Each sphere is a fractal identical to the others, and to the whole.
The outer spheres represent personal interactions with the external world. They are the natural outward reach stemming from the inner core.
To the extent the inner-core is balanced, so is the person, and so are interactions with the external world.
Everyone has these “matters” in their life, in one formation or another. My choice of their positions is, therefore, a kind of self-portrait. Change the position of the “matters”, especially the one in the core, and the resulting life of the person will be quite different.
I’ll refer to the author as Rosenberg to distinguish him from the apostle Paul.
“Again I am raising a difficult subject, but again, it’s something that needs to be said. And my title is true. The Bible – the holy book of more or less all Christians – has become an idol. And yes, I do mean idol as in “false god.”
A book, no matter how good, remains a book and should be treated as a book. A deity is something far different.
Not every Christian uses the Bible as an idol of course, but many millions do – probably a majority in North America – including nearly all of the TV preachers.
The Bible is 66 books with ~40 authors written over ~1500 years put between one cover and referred to as “a book”. None of the books are deities nor are they above, or outside of, Reality.
A Christian may hold the Bible to be the most important “book” in the world but it’s not a substitute for God unless He’s absent from their lives (which is probably the crux of the matter, here).
What is an Idol?
An idol is something you hold above reality.
The Bible uses the word “idol” to refer to that which a man holds above, or in place of, God. Since only that which created Reality could be above (outside, beyond) it, Rosenberg’s use of the word is roughly the same.
A true God – a creator of the universe, for example – should be held above reality, since he created reality. If, however, we hold something else above reality, we make it an idol. A created thing should be considered a part of reality, not held above it.
So, when I say the Bible has become an idol, I mean people hold it above reality, putting it into the position of a god.”
The Bible refers to the gods being worshipped in the OT and NT (represented in stone, wood, or gold idols) as real and created by God.1 These created gods, as well as the Bible, “should be considered to be part of reality, not held above it”.
Not a Book-Based Religion?
As long as the relationships between people and their Creator are replaced (avoided) with rituals we’ll be stuck with the word, “religion”.
“Christianity very clearly did not start as book-based. When Jesus “preached the good news,” he quoted just a small number of scriptures and usually as a necessity, answering people who questioned him. And several of those were of the “you’ve heard it said… but I say” variety. He read a few lines from Isaiah in his hometown synagogue once, but we see very little more than that.
Even the very literate Paul uses Greek poets in his sermons almost as much as Old Testament passages. (He uses some scriptures in his writings.)”
The New Testament refers to the Old Testament 2,572 times including allusions, echoes, citations, and quotations.2 Here’s the total breakout as well as that for Jesus and Paul.
Jesus’ use of the OT is consistent with, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” (Mt 5:17) One astounding aspect of that fulfillment was His abiding by the laws while supplanting them with grace.4 His scripture was the Septuagint (A Greek translation of the Hebrew canon made in 250 BC.).
While Jesus fulfilled the laws, Paul documented much of that fulfillment in canonical extension, later to become known as the New Testament. Paul’s use of the Septuagint is consistent with writing eight to thirteen of the 27 books of the NT.
Stating the Obvious, Extrapolating the Unnecessary5
Those writing, copying, and assembling books of the New Testament did not, themselves, have access to completed copies. To therefore conclude, somehow, that books not yet written were unimportant to those writing them is to extrapolate the unnecessary after stating the obvious.
In that sense, neither is Judaism a book-based religion. The Old Testament was written and assembled into canon over a period of ~1000 years. It was then translated into Greek to make it accessible to Jews who had been in exile so long they’d lost touch with their own language. Does a project requiring 33 generations to complete imply apathy?
The first Christians valued Christ over everything. Their first independent actions were to spread the word about Him and what He’d just done. They weren’t apathetic about writing things down. A remarkable aspect of the NT is how little time had passed from the actual events to the time the 27 books were written and then assembled into canon. They were documenting what they’d witnessed while simultaneously risking their lives to spread a faith that would become the largest in the world.
I do agree with Rosenberg that the apostles and first Christians weren’t risking their lives for a book (or books) but for what they’d just seen. Also, even without completed copies of what has become the New Testament the early Christians were, no doubt, more effective and consistent than most modern Christians.
Facing the Bible
Those of us who’ve read the book know the laws in the Old Testament that no one follows anymore. We know how the apostles disagreed. But – and this is where idolatry comes in – millions of us pretend that we saw nothing and move on. Or if we’re trying to be very religious, we come up with creative interpretations to resolve the flaws.
Conjuring up “creative interpretations to resolve the flaws” is worse than a waste of time. It degrades integrity and faith. It also avoids some of the best opportunities for spiritual growth.
Do the “Bible is the word of God people” think the Author needs their help in deflecting attention away from weak parts of an otherwise stellar attempt to reach mankind?
The Laws that No One Follows Anymore
I’m no expert on Judaism. Still, I doubt that anyone, other than Jesus and a few prophets and priests, managed to abide by all 613 commandments of the law.
There are orthodox Jews who still believe they must abide by most of the laws. They claim to be excused from the sacrificial laws (159 of the 613) because the temple was destroyed in 70 A.D. But, how were they released from the remaining 454? If they don’t recognize Jesus as their messiah how (and when) did these laws become inactive?
And let me be clear on this: Trying to prove everything by the Bible is a deviation from actual growth. If you’ve done this for any length of time, you’ve hindered yourself.
Rosenberg may be referring to the often lazy habit of quoting Biblical text as self-proving. To a non-believer this is recursive reasoning. It’s much more effective to quote applicable verses and explain why you think they’re true in the context of the discussion.
A larger point to understand is that the Bible doesn’t contain all knowledge. Such would be like a map with a scale of 1-to-1: accurate but useless. There are no microwaves, jet planes, toasters, CAD design programs, or even hidden codes in every 70th (or whatever) letter predicting the third Reich. Neither does Ezekiel contain the design plans for an alien spacecraft. The sooner a Christian is disabused of the notion that everything is in the Bible, the better.
The Bible is what God deemed sufficient for the realms it covers. It was not intended to be exhaustive. Exhaustive knowledge is a utopian myth. Humans have to work for knowledge just as they have to work to get food from the ground.
Doing, Or Not Doing?
Readers of the book really should know these things. The core of the New Testament – the recorded words of Jesus – require people to do the things he taught. The “Bible as word of God” people, on the other hand, spend endless hours arguing about who Jesus was, comparing scriptures, finding hidden meanings, proving their interpretations right, and proving the interpretations of others wrong. And so they bypass doing.
Though admonished by one commenter to “stick to subjects he knows about”, Rosenberg could just as well be paraphrasing Paul in 1 Timothy 1:3–7:
“As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.”6
The Sad Part
“The central requirement for any follower of Jesus is to love. Everything else comes second. Jesus not only taught this again and again; he exhibited it in his life. Christians, however, consistently push it aside in favor of other things. (I could tell you stories, but you probably have your own.)”
Indeed, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Ga 5:14)
“The really sad part of this is that the Bible idolaters – or at least a great number of them – do have experience with the divine impulse, of contact or at least innate yearning for a transcendent ultimate. But they never develop these things, because they’re busy idolizing a mere book, following the traditions and commandments of men.“
Jesus condemned the Pharisees for treating the OT in exactly this way. How much worse for a Christian to do the same with the completed Bible?
What’s Rosenberg Getting At?
Rosenberg sees the Bible as a valuable resource. He greatly appreciates the impact that Judeo-Christian ethics have had on western civilization. He believes there’s a creator of the universe distinct from the created. He has a “divine impulse” and “innate yearning for a transcendent ultimate”. So, why would someone so philosophically, though not theologically, aligned with Christianity be frustrated enough to write about Christians using the Bible as an idol?
At the risk of being presumptuous I’ll put into my own words what I think are some of Rosenberg’s points. If doing so would make fellow Christians consider them then it will have been worth the effort:
Because of the enormous, yet squandered, human potential of a third of humanity. If a small fraction of that number patterned their thoughts, will, abilities, beliefs, and expectations on the full range of Jesus’ teachings the world would be so dramatically transformed it might be mistaken for heaven.
Because millions of Christians who claim Jesus as their role-model either don’t take him seriously enough, or are afraid to discover, let alone implement, the full breadth of His teachings.
Because the Book of Acts describes the behaviors and experiences of Christians before there was a Book of Acts. And yet, the first Christians were more Christ-like, with limited access to fragments of text, than modern Christians are with a completed New Testament.
The Christian Difference
Voltaire is credited with saying, “Show me your redeemed life, and I’ll believe in your Redeemer”. And then there’s the rhetorical question that, “If you were jailed for being a Christian would there be enough evidence to convict you?”.
There’s nothing different about people living inconsistently with their own stated beliefs. You can find them in every house and on every street-corner in the world. Christians are supposed to stand out in such a way as there’s no doubt that something is different about them. Why else would anyone care to learn more about their beliefs?
Can we blame non-believers for concluding that a redemption without fruit is no redemption, at all?
The Christian difference occurs in believers who call Jesus a role model and have the courage to act consistency with the goal of becoming more like Him.
That means diving into his teachings and exposing yourself to the full-spectrum of what you find. No picking and choosing what you, or those around you, might be comfortable with. No strip-mining the supernatural out of the events. No arrogant presumptions that God needs your protection of His Bible because someone sent you a list of “flaws” on Facebook.
Set a goal of nothing short of putting on the mind of Christ. “Aim at Heaven and you will get Earth ‘thrown in’: aim at Earth and you will get neither.”7
Faith without Works
Faith without works is trust without transformation. It’s an attempt to be oriented towards the Creator without “power according to his glorious might”. (Col 1:11) In daily life, it’s hope without joy.
Transformation of Character and Supernatural Power
Dallas Willard, speaking on “Being Church” said:
“When the kingdom of God is present, power flows. And what characterize the people of Christ throughout the ages is transformation of character and supernatural power. Those two things always follow. When Jesus brought the kingdom he brought manifestation.”
That’s what the early Christians had and what many of today’s Christians don’t have. That’s what’s at the core of Judeo-Christian ethics that have transformed the world.
The early Christians weren’t risking their lives for unfinished scrolls on parchment or papyrus. And they weren’t risking their lives because Jesus was a smart guy who’d just laid some awesome philosophy on them. They risked their lives to remain true to what they’d just witnessed: Jesus performing miracles all over the place, raising people from the dead and then rising, himself, from being dead. And if that wasn’t enough, walking around and eating meals with them while detailing how He’d just fulfilled their scriptures. It was the resurrected Jesus that told them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”8
In that sense, I agree with Rosenberg, that Christianity is not a book-based religion. It’s a relationship with God centered around His presence in our actual lives. Without transformation of character and supernatural power there will be no great works. But, with them?
“My contention is that, if our theology really derives from the biblical text, we must reconsider our selective supernaturalism and recover a biblical theology of the unseen world. This is not to suggest that the best interpretation of a passage is always the most supernatural one. But the biblical writers and those to whom they wrote were predisposed to supernaturalism. To ignore that outlook or marginalize it will produce Bible interpretation that reflects our mind-set more than that of the biblical writers.” Heiser, M. S. (2015). The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible (First Edition, p. 18). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press. ↩
Jackson, J. G. (Ed.). (2015). New Testament Use of the Old Testament. Bellingham, WA: Faithlife. ↩
There are four relationships that are used: Citation, Quotation, Allusion, and Echo. These terms are understood as: Citation: An explicit reference to scripture with a citation formula (e.g. “It is written,” or “the Lord says,” or “the prophet says”). Quotation: A direct reference to scripture, largely matching the verbatim wording of the source but without a quotation formula Allusion: An indirect but intentional reference to scripture, likely intended to invoke memory of the scripture. Echo: A verbal parallel evokes or recalls a scripture (or series of scriptures) to the reader, but likely without authorial intention to reproduce exact words. ↩
“For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Ro 6:14). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society. ↩
“Yes – as I have said many times in classes: Scholars have a habit of embracing the obvious (redaction) and then extrapolating to the unnecessary (XYZ “universally accepted” critical theory that actually has significant weaknesses – as though there were no other options).” http://drmsh.com/does-higher-criticism-attempt-to-destroy-the-bible/ ↩
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (1 Ti 1:3–7). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society. ↩
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Mt 28:18–20). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society. ↩
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Ge 1:28). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.” ↩
Psychopaths are all the rage, lately. About 1% of the population meet the clinical criteria for psychopathy.1 That percentage rises to 3-4% in senior executives.2 Many articles and books list their attributes and behaviors. Still, advice on what to do about them is sparse.
I have an idea: use the new tool enabling psychiatrists to standardize their diagnosis and communicate accurately about such “patients”. That is, use the PCL-R (Psychopathy Checklist-Revised) to detect the potential psychopaths in your life. Then eject them before they have a chance to do the damage they seem born to do. You don’t have to be an expert to protect yourself.
If that seems harsh then avail yourself of the innumerable books and articles about these human predators. They rarely create anything but chaos. They’re usually parasites that rely on the productivity of others to supply for their every need. And yet, human hosts abound. Hosts, who don’t realize they’re facilitating their own demise until it’s too late.
I wrote a book about a suspected psychopath to thicken the non-fiction part of his résumé. He hasn’t been brought to justice, yet, but perhaps my book will put a digital noose around his neck, in the meantime. In Chapter 13 of “The Creature from Galt’s Gulch” I used eyewitness accounts to compare the suspect with Dr. Robert Hare’s PCL-R checklist for psychopathy.
Beginning of Book Excerpt
Johnson and the Psychopathy Checklist
Here’s a list of eyewitness accounts of Johnson and their correspondence to the attributes and behaviors on Dr. Robert Hare’s PCL-R checklist for psychopathy.
Preserving the term, “Psychopathy”
Words are often used with little respect for their original meaning. They’re used in propaganda and strung together in phrases that become memes. Memes are captured in social media, sitcoms, and movies. Within a few short years the word bears little resemblance to its original meaning. The first casualty is that the word in question may never recover it’s original, and most powerful, meaning. Even greater damage is done by obscuring the definition of a perfectly good word and thereby shrinking the vocabulary of humanity. It then takes that much more effort to communicate effectively.
We’re all familiar with the trivial use of the word “Fascist” hurled at anyone, and anything, the accuser may not like or that presents a maddening obstacle to their whims. Only when fascism describes the merger of corporate with state powers does meaning reappear. Another word that must be recovered to understand Galt’s Gulch Chile is “Psychopath”.
If your understanding of the word “Psychopath” is anyone acting in a way you don’t understand or agree with, then maybe the word “Psychotic” or “Psychosis” is a better fit. At the heart of the GGC story there sits a man exhibiting behaviors I believe (As a layman) to be consistent with the medical use of the term “Psychopath”. I refer to him as the “Creature” or Kenneth Dale Johnson. I have been careful to refrain from throwing the word “Psychopath” around in the irresponsible manner in which the word has become a cultural meme since 2010. That was when the Showtime series, “Dexter”, portrayed one as an ersatz hero. The word “Psychopath” is a medical term used to describe someone who lacks all empathy with their fellow man, someone who has no conscience, someone who can lie about millions of dollars of stolen money as if he were handing you an ice cream cone. It gets worse, but, let’s just leave it at that, for now.
As a layman, with no psychiatric medical training, I’ll stick with the PCL-R standard the professionals use to diagnose psychopathy. Dr. Robert Hare’s revised checklist for psychopathy is something I recommend all people become familiar with as a tool to assist in spotting, and then avoiding, the psychopaths that cross their path.
If there should be some kind of future “therapy” to shift the behavior of psychopaths towards that which, at least, acknowledges empathy with their fellow man (And not their pets or animals as is characteristic of the psychopath) then I welcome it. As of today, there is no such therapy that I’m aware of. The best course of action is to understand the behavior, recognize when they are being exhibited by someone, gauge the extent to which the person under consideration may be a psychopath, and avoid them in equal measure.
I believe that, unless Johnson ends up in jail, he’ll move on to live somewhere else in the world. May what’s been written here about the damage he’s done to so many people be added to his resume.
As of June, 2015 Johnson is making the mistake of recording himself on dozens of video updates he calls “Farm updates”. As with the rare movie, “I, Psychopath” where Sam Vaknin allows a filmmaker to create a documentary about him, this is a rare opportunity to study the behavior of a likely psychopath, in real time, and on video.
“Each of the 20 items in the PCL-R is scored on a three-point scale, with a rating of 0 if it does not apply at all, 1 if there is a partial match or mixed information, and 2 if there is a reasonably good match to the offender. This is said to be ideally done through a face-to-face interview together with supporting information on lifetime behavior (e.g. from case files), but is also done based only on file information. It can take up to three hours to collect and review the information. Out of a maximum score of 40, the cut-off for the label of psychopathy is 30 in the United States and 25 in the United Kingdom. A cut-off score of 25 is also sometimes used for research purposes. High PCL-R scores are positively associated with measures of impulsivity and aggression, Machiavellianism, persistent criminal behavior, and negatively associated with measures of empathy and affiliation.”
— Wikipedia entry for “Psychopathy Checklist”
GGC Logo
With five categories unknown Kenneth Dale Johnson already rates a score of 29, in the collective recollection of those who’ve tangled with him. If correct, that makes him a psychopath in the UK and 1 point shy in the US. What do you think are the chances of him scoring a 0 in the unknown categories?
End of Book Excerpt
If you’re interested in the full story of Galt’s Gulch Chile the 186-page book is free for those who have access to the resource library.
Dealing with Psychopaths
You have two options:
Detect and Avoid.
Disentangle, Starve, and Extract.
Detect and Avoid
The unhired employee is the easiest to fire. The unentangled friend has no pretense to interfere. The unmarried crazy-maker is the easiest to divorce. Memorize the attributes of the PCL-R checklist so you can vet strangers that want to become more than strangers. Be on guard for anything over a score of 10 or for any attributes you find disturbing. Call former business associates and friends (If there are any). Did your candidate get along well with others? Did they show genuine empathy for other people? Would they do business with them again? Are they still friends? Just those four questions are probably enough.
I have a friend with an uncanny ability to detect the unseen factors about people and situations. She refers to it as her “Spidey Sense”. In the seven years I’ve known her she’s never been wrong. Now, when she tells me something is up I adjust my thoughts and actions to be in line with her intuitions. My friend has rare abilities. However, perhaps you can assemble a group of friends to achieve a similar result? Why not invite your candidate out for coffee for an informal vetting session?
Learning to recognize an aggressive move when somebody makes one and learning how to handle oneself in any of life’s many battles has turned out to be the most empowering experience for the manipulation victims with whom I’ve worked. It’s how they eventually freed themselves from their manipulator’s dominance and control and gained a much needed boost to their own sense of self-esteem. Recognizing the inherent aggression in manipulative behavior and becoming more aware of the slick, surreptitious ways that manipulative people prefer to aggress against us is extremely important. Not recognizing and accurately labeling their subtly aggressive moves causes most people to misinterpret the behavior of manipulators and, therefore, fail to respond to them in an appropriate fashion.3
Heavily Scrutinize Claims of Pain, Hurt Feelings, or Victimhood from Prospective Friends, Partners, etc.
Are they sharing a real experience or merely evoking feelings of sympathy to put you off-guard?
The tactics manipulators use can make it seem like they’re hurting, caring, defending, … almost anything but fighting. These tactics are hard to recognize as merely clever ploys. They always make just enough sense to make a person doubt their gut hunch that they’re being taken advantage of or abused. Besides, the tactics not only make it hard for you to consciously and objectively tell that a manipulator is fighting, but they also simultaneously keep you unconsciously on the defensive. These features make them highly effective psychological weapons to which anyone can be vulnerable. It’s hard to think clearly when someone has you emotionally on the run.4
Disentangle, Starve, and Extract
If you fail to detect or avoid a psychopath it will be much harder to get rid of them once they’ve embedded themselves into your life or business. It will be like trying to capture a spider while preserving the web. There will be people, assets, and money to preserve during the extraction. You can’t possibly care less about these things than your psycho already does. A psycho will think and feel nothing in “burning” through all of them just to see your reaction. Your best bet is to proceed slowly and document their every move so that contradictions and lies can be made visible to all. Get them talking and record everything (which is what psychos, themselves, are famous for doing). The biggest lies of their twisted premises must be debunked to the satisfaction of those who don’t yet see the spider for who they are. Those who don’t yet see through the psychos deceptions are unwittingly feeding the spider that will eventually bite them. In the meantime, the spider will continue to feed on the energy of those who still believe their lies. The idea is to cut off this source of the spider’s food so it eventually starves amidst a desert of unbelieving attention.
The ideal outcome is to have the spider eject themselves from the web. They will do so in huffs and indignant cries of counter-accusations. The psycho will go down with the ship repeating the same tired stories of how they have always been the victim and don’t care how many people don’t believe them. If you’ve done your homework such cries and accusations will now be seen and recognized by all to be ridiculous.
Of course, psycho extractions are rarely smooth and are difficult even when they can be done, at all. Perhaps Kent Kiehl’s, “The Psychopath Whisperer” can help. You may also enjoy Ann Barnhardt’s presentation on Diabolical Narcissism.
Their Words are Dead until You Make them Alive
Repeating the accusations of a psychopath makes dead words come alive. You are the source of that life. The more you repeat their words the more life the words have to impact the living. Stop repeating them, or even listening to them, and a psychopaths words remain dead in their own mouths. I’ve had personal experience with this.
A former boss of mine used to plant lies among his small group of five or so consultants. The point of his lies were to gain information from how each consultant reacted to them. I knew what he was doing but was never able to persuade the others to ignore his lies, altogether. When a co-worker would feel cornered into admitting to some trivial error the boss held it up as proof of the entire group being “liars”. That story reminds me of a simple and effective method for …
Extracting the Truth from a Psychopath
It’s easier than you think. Psychos are all blabber-mouths and can’t keep their own mouths shut. Your job is to listen and record. Then, translate their accusations as what they are: projected admissions of what the psycho, themselves, have done or are doing. It really is that simple. Psychos don’t so much create their own lies as much as they describe what they’ve actually done, and what their own motivations were. Then, a few names are swapped around, and fresh accusations can be launched. If cornered, your psycho will, of course, extend the web. But that be plausibly and quickly done with the inside knowledge of having been the original culprit.
Think of it this way: They’re not performing the mental feat of keeping track of multiple lies and the rippling consequences of multiple conflicting stories. They’re merely reciting from memory what they, themselves, have done.
Example
Psycho: “You’re a lying buffoon who has doctored up your resume with false experience while taking credit for the work that Joe and Marcia have done! You’re also using company money to pay for non-business events and expenses!”
You: Excellent. Now I know that my psycho has:
Lied.
Doctored up his resume
Taken credit for Joe and Marcia’s work
Used company money for travel, food, and events.
This is as close to a direct admission of deeds and guilt as your ever likely to get from your local psychopath. Enjoy it. Now you know exactly what they’ve been up to and how they mucked things up.
Herd Immunity from Psychos?
There is little hope or evidence that such creatures will self-correct and change their destructive ways. As with most problems facing humanity the hope lies in what changes the victims can make to avoid or neutralize the attack.
In the long-term, humanity must confront and overcome the following deficiencies if “Herd Immunity” is to be attained:
A pervasive lack of awareness of their existence.
Inability to diagnose and, therefore, to defend against, avoid, or thwart.
No understanding of how they fit-in, demographically, with humanity.
Apologetic denial that notorious figures of history were obvious and diagnosable psychopaths but my “friend” (Partner, Business Associate, City Councilman, etc.) is different.
No spiritual discernment of the possibility that some people are just plain evil and that’s all there is to it.
A knee-jerk tendency to dismiss outrageous behavior happening right in front of them.
A tendency to take responsibility for outrageous behavior so as not to upset the guilty offender with the truth, or upset the sensibilities of the group.
A long willingness to “Strike-a-Deal” to cap the bleeding despite an established string of lies.
Anyone wanting to avoid being victimized by covert-aggression must redefine the terms of engagement with a would-be manipulator. To do this effectively, one must: 1. be free of any harmful misconceptions about human nature and behavior, 2. know how to correctly assess the character of others, 3. heighten self-awareness, paying special attention to aspects of one’s own character that increase vulnerability to manipulation, 4. correctly recognize and label the tactics of manipulation and respond to them ap- propriately, 5. avoid fighting losing battles, and 6. know how to maintain a position of power and strength in interpersonal relationships.5
But, what about the short-term? What might you be able to do right now about the potential psychopaths in your life?
Adopt-A-Path
Ex-CIA agent Robert David Steele advised bloggers to adopt their own zip-code and illuminate whatever hanky-panky is going on.
“If you bloggers self-organize and attach yourselves like leeches to specific issues, corporations, organizations, challenges, whatever, you will be the intelligence minutemen of this century. The power is in your hands.”
Perhaps the same could done for Psychopaths or Diabolical Narcissists?
For those inclined I recommend being quite sure of the informal diagnosis of your adopted specimen. Preserve your integrity by using words and terms accurately. You won’t need to use hyperbole as there’s no need to exaggerate behavior that’s already quite outrageous. I’ve also learned from experience the many benefits of the writer having no ties, whatsoever, to the subject or their crimes. Human cooperation confuses the living daylight out of these creatures. They can’t understand something that’s not within them to ever do. I suppose that leaves them without much light, at all.
May it leave them with no victims, either.
Hare, R. D 1994, ‘Predators: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths among Us’,Psychology Today, vol. 27, no. 1, pp. 54–61 ↩
Baibak, P; Hare, R. D Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work (2007) ↩
In Sheep’s Clothing, Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, George K. Simon, Ph.D., page 8. ↩
If you want your words to last as long as parchment use plain ASCII text with Markdown. When found, your writing can be republished at the click of a button. It’s digital; make lots of copies.
… a way to format plain text to show the formatting choices of the writer.
The syntax is natural and the formatted text is readable (Unlike HTML from which Markdown was derived as a form of shorthand). And, since most publishing software can read Markdown, directly, the writer can write once, skip the hassles of formatting, and pass the text directly on to the publisher.
Half of the Markdown syntax is just how a writer would format text, naturally. For example, you type an asterisk or a number in front of bullet points or a list of items, or hit enter to separate paragraphs. Heading levels are marked by the number of “#” signs placed before the heading. Even footnotes, tables and web links are straightforward and the text remains readable after formatting.
Storage
Plain digital text bypasses the problems of paper storage. It also bypasses the format wars of proprietary software. Your writing is created, stored, and published from the same text file. If we can read Egyptian hieroglyphs, today, perhaps people will be able to read ASCII text files, 5000 years from now.
Ideally, you make a (Digital) book available and distribute it to hundreds or thousands of people. Upload it to a website where it will be indexed, and possibly stored, by a third party. Less ambitious writers could put their text on as many mediums as they can find. Put them in a safe, wrapped in a paper printout. Tell your family about them and put it in your will. If your lucky, your progeny will see it and use the search engine of the day to find a copy, somewhere. Otherwise, perhaps one of your digital copies is readable. In terms of survivability, the paper copy is likely the weakest contender after 100 years or so.
How Long Will it Last?
Markdown_table
Search
The presumption, even today, is that if you have the title, or the author’s name, you have a fair chance of finding the book. As more books are published in digital-only formats the odds of being able to find any book will increase.
Write Once, Publish Anywhere
Markdown makes it possible to write once and publish anywhere. Every platform I’ve needed to publish to can receive markdown text. But, it’s even better than that: Most of my writing is outlined, written, edited, and exported directly to the publishing platform and archived in markdown from within one program: Scrivener. The text can then be updated or repurposed from the same place it’s archived! It’s hard to describe the relief of simplicity this workflow provides. It makes for a frictionless writing environment that shifts the focus of the work back onto content. You just keep writing and let the publishing platforms handle the formatting details.
Markdown Benefits
Liberates the writer from formatting concerns both during, and after, writing.
Liberates the writer from proprietary software jail.
Gives the writer the widest number of choices in publishing platforms.
Enables the writer to use the same text file to feed multiple software and publishing platforms.
Updates and editions are made to one file: The original text file.
Enables the text to be read now and for the foreseeable human future.
Puts the writing in simple text format which will outlast all software programs currently in use.
Text processing programs are everywhere as are publishing software and platforms that can read Markdown, directly. Pick one and start writing.
WYSIWYG Live Preview, Yes!
Ironically, writing in simple text was a big step for me. I worked as a typesetter before, and during, college and have always loved the look of well-formatted text and book design. My professional consulting is replete with word processors, project management software, presentations, adobe frame maker proposals, etc. To make it worse, I’ve relied heavily on HTML and InDesign for the past eight years. Must I do without the inspiration of formatted text to get all the benefits of writing in markdown?
Not at all! Marked reads your text file (Even a Scrivener file!) and displays a fully formatted version of your document in real time. As you type, Marked updates the displayed document. When you’re finished you can export the document from your original text editor or right from Marked, in all the standard formats.
Workflows
Website Articles
Scrivener to WordPress.
Markdownify plug-in within wordpress editor box.
Images stored on dropbox or website image directory.
Marked shows WYSIWYG of Scrivener file, including images, while the article is being written.
Guest posts
Scrivener exported to publisher’s format preference.
A. Cut/paste of Markdown txt?
B. Html or pdf export from Marked
C. Other?
Client Documents
Scrivener to pdf export.
Indesign for special formats only.
Books
Scrivener to first draft.
Edit drafts in Scrivener.
Send to Editor(s).
Make edits in Scrivener.
Final copy to Indesign.
Format for Kindle, PDF, etc.
Succeeding versions in Indesign.
Project Planning & Tasks
Omnifocus (Text only)
Drafts (MD and Text)
Scrivener (MD and Text)
Excel
E-mails
MailMate
Notes
Evernote
Nvalt
Drafts (iphone/pad) to Evernote to Scrivener
Misc. Tools
Byword
Brett Terpstra’s Markdown services
MultiMarkdown Composer
P.S., Nine Months Later
Shortly after starting to use Markdown I began using dictation software to talk words onto the screen. Dictation has now taken such a big place in my daily writing that my typing speed has declined. One thing I haven’t yet done is to train the dictation software to implement markdown syntax. For example, perhaps I could train the software so that saying, “Bold that”, puts double asterisks around the last word?
I no longer need Adobe Indesign or Word for daily writing. I much prefer to use Marked 2 for WYSIWYG of the draft folder of Scrivener. It’s not as good as Indesign but enough to be inspired by the clean text and formatting of what I’m working on.
When writing articles I sometimes use temporary droplink addresses of image files so Marked can show me how the picture will look with the text during the writing process. I also use droplink addresses to compose e-mails to friends (Also in markdown) if they’re to include photos. If I need the images to be viewable in the long-term I use “Transmit” to quickly upload the images to my website image directory and use that address in the markdown syntax.
When composing agendas and client documents I write them all in scrivener using markdown. I then use Marked to convert markdown to the pdf files that are sent directly to the client. Client work is started, and completed, in Scrivener where it remains in its final form. The pdf’s sent to the client are beautiful and archived in Scrivener.
David Diringer noted that “the first mention of Egyptian documents written on leather goes back to the Fourth Dynasty (c. 2550–2450 BC), but the earliest of such documents extant are: a fragmentary roll of leather of the Sixth Dynasty (c. 24th century BC) ↩
Jiahu symbols, carved on tortoise shells in Jiahu, c. 6600 BC ↩
Almost everything against us, and for us, has an invisible origin. Master this unseen realm, and what obstacles remain of the visible world are child’s play to contend with, in comparison.
A shift in focus to the invisible root causes of oppression enables an enormous reclamation of human resources. This is the Way to advance, directly, in what is a spiritual wrestling match masquerading as conventional warfare.
from Within
The seven deadly sins of greed, pride, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth reside within. It’s only their effects that become visible. All of these sins can manifest physical obstacles onto our path until we get them under some kind of control.
from Without
The book of Ephesians has the clearest and highest view of the invisible rulers that originate from without.
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”1
The placement of the final four elements to be in opposition to “flesh and blood” makes them all inhuman. A word study reveals them all to be of supernatural origin, as well.
Ephesians Table
“6:12 This list of spiritual rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers (see 3:10) gives a sobering glimpse into the devil’s allies, the spiritual forces of evil who are exceedingly powerful in their exercise of cosmic powers over this present darkness. And yet Scripture makes clear that the enemy host is no match for the Lord, who has “disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him” (Col. 2:15; see also Eph. 1:19–21). 6:13 Therefore. Because the Christian’s enemies are superhuman spiritual forces, he cannot rely upon mere human resources but must take up the whole armor of God.“2
Given their destructive potential, understanding rulers and authorities to refer to an invisible realm has a profound impact on the optimal deployment of human resources in what Paul refers to as a spiritual wrestling match.
A Divine Council of Evil?
With the detail in this and other passages I wonder if it’s possible to make an Org Chart of what might be called the Divine Council of Evil. Scholars are divided on the question:
“Some scholars have believed that it is possible to reconstruct at least in part some of the hierarchy represented by these various supernatural forces and powers, on the basis of the neoplatonic system of nine such powers arranged in three orders of three each. NT terminology and usage does not, however, lend itself to such a classification, and it is difficult, if not impossible, to determine what are the significant differences between these supernatural powers and forces.”3
But that hasn’t stopped people from trying:
Botticini Painting
The Origin of the Invisible
If Ephesians tells us what we’re up against and what to do about it, Colossians tells us who created what we’re up against:
“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”4
Paul uses three powerful rhetorical devices in this verse:
He sets up a pattern of contrasting opposites: One is visible and the other is invisible.
The nature of the opposites show the completeness of the creation being described. Nothing is excluded from a creation that includes all that is visible and all that is invisible.
Instead of completing the AB pattern of the first two opposites Paul lists four things of the same type, for emphasis. All four are invisible “sacrificing the balance of the hymn in order to add a further reference to Christ’s superiority over all beings in heaven as well as on earth.”5
The pattern is A-B, B-A for the first two comparisons. Instead of extending that pattern it’s followed by A, A, A, A:
Colossians Table
From the Inside Out
Against these invisible rulers of sin, weaknesses, and the “Divine Council of Evil”, where does one begin to “wrestle” free? As all the great masters have concluded: from the inside out.
Sins manifest into physical obstacles. For example, when sloth combines with natural entropy and results in clutter, “Who” is the oppressor making things hard to find? Similar examples would illustrate the same pattern with the other deadly sins.
One Stone, Many Birds
The “schemes of the devil” use sins and weakness as their primary means of control. Any “stones” you may throw in the direction of their elimination could hit many “birds” of prey.
Taking action on your own sins and weaknesses is under the jurisdiction of your own will. There is no permission required and you can start immediately, if you like.
By doing so you begin to remove both yourself and the primary sources of leverage used by external rulers and authorities (both visible and invisible) to control you.
By doing so you start to “clear the decks”, removing clutter and complexity from the “battlefield”.
A Nod to the Visible
There are visible counterparts to the invisible thrones, dominions, rulers, and authorities. We do have kings, governments, tyrants, and pricks on earth, just as there are in heaven. Sometimes, a rock is just a rock.
But, appearances can be deceiving. Visible obstacles may be put on your path through invisible means. David Pawson defines a miracle as “a natural event with a supernatural cause”. Looking in the mirror I find it hard to argue the point.
Most of the Biblical references to “rulers” are to the unseen realm. In 55 uses of ἀρχή or Archē only two might refer to something visible:
Luke 12:11
“When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not worry about how or what you are to speak in your defense, or what you are to say.”
Titus 3:1
“Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed.”
In 53 out of 55 cases the reader must jar themselves out of the natural tendency to mistake the word for its earthly equivalent. Just as legal terms in Black’s law dictionary have only a small overlap in meaning to their common use, so does this Biblical word rarely resemble the vernacular.
Reclaiming Human Resources
There is much visible work to do. To ignore this fact is to carelessly devalue precious human labor (The most noble form of money). However, by shifting the focus of that work to the invisible root causes of oppression, we may reclaim the enormous human resources currently wasted on merely resisting the damage of effects!
We have the means to throw the originating rulers off our backs. We have a helper to inspire us to bridle, and then repudiate, the sins within. Every time we do so we gain immediate ground. Soon, it becomes obvious that evil is weak, and always has been. Its appearance of strength was only relative to our lack of clarity and unwillingness to remain squared-off, no matter the cost, to what intuition always informed us were the Real perpetrators.
Even our direct work (at last) is only part of a long-running cleanup operation of an ancient victory. For the Lord has “disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him”.
We are beneficiaries to the inheritance of that victory. The cost is no more, and no less, than its recognition.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2001). (Eph 6:11–12). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society. ↩
Louw, J. P., & Nida, E. A. (1996). Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament: based on semantic domains (electronic ed. of the 2nd edition., Vol. 1, p. 147). New York: United Bible Societies. ↩
“The fact that all four terms thus refer only to the invisible, heavenly realm and the repeated emphasis on Christ’s supremacy and triumph over the “principalities and powers” in 2:10 and 15 do therefore strengthen the likelihood that the two lines were inserted by the author(s) of the letter, sacrificing the balance of the hymn in order to add a further reference to Christ’s superiority over all beings in heaven as well as on earth” … Dunn, J. D. G. (1996). The Epistles to the Colossians and to Philemon: a commentary on the Greek text (pp. 92–93). Grand Rapids, MI; Carlisle: William B. Eerdmans Publishing; Paternoster Press. ↩
With a restored belief in the power of words came a renewed interest in exploiting their full capabilities. One way to do that is to map the form and function of words in a sentence.
Visual Interactive Syntax Learning (VISL)
Most grammar diagrams are created by hand with pen and paper. That’s fine for learning how to make one. For publishing I went looking for an online tool that would make them visually compelling. There aren’t many “Out there”. The best one was created and made available by a University in Denmark called Syddansk. It’s called VISL and presents a diagram of your sentence via java applet.
It figures that such a tool would come from a country with the language characteristics of Danish. As one teacher describes the language:
“Danish is said to be the hardest Scandinavian language to learn because of its speaking patterns. It is generally spoken more quickly and more softly than other Scandinavian languages. Danish is also flatter and more monotonous than English.
Grammatically, though, it’s relatively easy. Danish has only nine verb forms, including the passive, which is peculiar to Scandinavian languages but familiar to English speakers.”
“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.”
VISL Grammar Diagram
“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities”
“all things were created through him and for him.”
“And he is the head of the body, the church.”
“He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.”
“And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”
These were not generated by the VISL applet. Dennis Wretlind’s grammar diagram of the original Greek shows the technique is, by no means, limited to English.
Words are how the truth comes to us. They’re also how it can be taken away. Seen only as symbols and grammar, truth and lies are made from the same raw material. Your only hope is discernment. Your life depends on it.
Tolkien and Lewis regarded the fairy tale as a perfectly suited literary vehicle for expressing eternal truth. Lewis credits Tolkien and a mutual friend with helping him see that his love of myth and fairy tale blinded him to, yet prepared him for, the Gospels. He reluctantly came to believe the Gospels were eyewitness accounts of a “true myth”.1
“I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”2
Mythology or History?
Another term used as a pejorative is mythology.
All mythology is presumed myth as the victors decide what is official history. The history of the defeated is, by definition, written by outlaws. A generation later the history of the defeated is mythology or conspiracy if it’s remembered, at all.
It’s helpful to think of mythology as collections of potential truths inconvenient to the succession of political power. Likewise, “History” is as likely to be the glorification of bureaucrats and technocrats as an accurate re-telling of the facts.
A series of time-related truths, thoroughly vetted and discerned, is not mythology or conspiracy; it’s history.
Trivium & Quadrivium
The subjects of history and philosophy were considered to be so demanding, yet so important, that they weren’t even presented to the student until after they’d studied the subjects of the trivium (Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric) and, ideally, those of the quadrivium (Arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy).3
“These seven heads were supposed to include universal knowledge. He who was master of these was thought to have no need of a preceptor to explain any books or to solve any questions which lay within the compass of human reason, the knowledge of the trivium having furnished him with the key to all language, and that of the quadrivium having opened to him the secret laws of nature.”4
“… When a few were instructed in the trivium, and very few studied the quadrivium, to be master of both was sufficient to complete the character of a philosopher … The candidate, having reached this point, is now supposed to have accomplish the task upon which he had entered – he has reached the last step, and is now ready to receive the full fruition of human learning.”5
“Some day you’ll be old enough”
The ability to grasp eternal truths and history and bring them to bear on decisions is a high achievement of a classical education. Only philosophy, by attempting to comprehend meaning, imposes greater demands for greater rewards.
“Some day you’ll be old enough” to start reading fairy tales again to glean eternal truths. Someday you’ll be educated enough to distinguish real history from stories convenient to political power.
Words are how the truth comes to us. They’re also how it can be taken away. Seen only as symbols and grammar, truth and lies are made from the same raw material. Your only hope is discernment. Your life depends on it.
A 1931 letter to childhood friend Arthur Greeves, Lewis credits Tolkien (and mutual friend Hugo Dyson). Paragraph reworded and reordered from an article written by Bruce Edwards (https://erlc.com/article/c-s-lewis-051101). ↩
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis ↩
Cathedral Schools of the early Middle Ages (527) on which the curriculum of Medieval universities were based (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedral_school) ↩
The symbolism of Freemasonry: Illustrating and Explaining its Science and Philosophy, it’s Legends, Myths, and Symbols. By Albert Gallatin Mackey, M.D., 1869. ↩
A web search reveals that people have written books about this subject. I haven’t read them, so, can’t vouch for them. Searching Google turns up many articles about this topic. I found these articles to be encouraging, but, not conclusive. They don’t seem to be written by actual sellers who went through the whole process of selling their own house. The next time you search for articles you’ll find this one. Problem solved. The goals for this article are:
